BEHOLD THE GLORIOUS FUTURE OF (SECULAR) HUMANISM!

Extrapolating sofar from the glorious succes story and rapid rise over the last 300 years of Secular Humanism, helped tremendously of course by our new-fangled Genesis of Evolution, our superior “raison d’etre”/philosophy/religion has managed to create wonderful, selfconfident, self-esteeming, self employed, self consious, self propelled, self made, self willed, self centered, self absorbed, self-conceited, self obsessed, self-full, self proud, self righteous humanist, atheist, skeptic, dog-eat-dog, self moraliststs, their—I was gonna say ours but of course not as you will soon see— transhumanist future will look something like the following:

After we have rounded up and religiously cleansed our global world society of all those narrow-minded “fundies”, who refused to take part in the glorious 666 body-chip mass program to perfect our commercial system, and who so tenaciously stuck to their archaic and dangerous belief- systems, that were so intolerant of our normal aberrant behaviours, we will at last be absorbed into the technological internet of the future, that is, if this legendary leader of these Fundies, this fellow from Nazareth, really doesn’t come back, as we don’t believe of course.
Finally we will all live in our own little cool cells of self isolation, being all single and unmarried, as we have no more of these archaic Christian graces left over, not even from cultural residues around us, just as our children are already the most pure race without them right now, and only interested in violent computer-games, and already socially unable to relate to eachother–let alone the other sex, other than that the little male machos know how to knock her down with karate and kong fu to rape her, that is if she doesn’t get killed in the process, and if they ever get that old, youngsters now as young as 10 years old killing other youngsters younger than them. We will finally have a society with limited numbers of young people, thank God, due also to 90 % abortion, infanticide and successful euthanasia of the weak, handicapped and terminally ill, that will be sacrificed for the good of all, their organs being reaped for implants for those of us on our way to eventual physical immortality! Praise be to St. Kevorkian, St. Margaret Sanger, St. Warwick, St Sagan, St Gould, St. Goldstein, St. Marx and of course St. Darwin! Praise be to Evolution, Dialectic Materialism and Transhumanism!

Of course, our humanist legal system will finally manage to worldwide abolish the death penalty as deterrent, forbid every Bible on every continent including the right to pray to this myth of a God. When people DO survive past 30 years of age, due to their incredible talents for martial arts and other survival instincts, and for not leaving the house. If humans do happen to go to jail, then and only then will we allow some of them to read a Bible before they will be ‘euthanasia-ed’ out of their pitiful schizophrenic existence, their organs being reaped & donated to the surviving fittest of course! Also some of our humanist surviving fundie preachers will be allowed to say some last rites for them, before they die. Some do deserve the electric chair, as their parents were outlawed from disciplining them while younger and still pliable.

Then finally, the reign of the terror of sacrificial Love will be exposed for the myth and legend that it is, a hangover of Christian Romantic courtiers. Love will be outlawed as a non-concept. All selfish people will have finally “come out of the closet”, due to “self-pride” marches and the powerful “self lobby” containing even openly self-practicing senators. There will be no more closet selfish pigs.Whereas “proud” was once a battered and suppressed type of behaviour, frowned upon by these medieval fundies of these Christians, now everyone will be allowed to be proud! “Self” pride marches will be a thing of the past, as everybody will be able to freely practice and confess their proclivity to be self. Selfishness will no more be so-called “sin!”

Thank God, I mean thank Evolution and Secular Humanism for such a victory over the darkness of this polite, selfless, self sacrificial, smiling, considerate, self effacing, humble, Christian fundamentalism! That will be over and done with, finished, bye bye forever! Away with Christian darkness! Hail Humanist fundamentalism based on the Humanist Bible of the Humanist Manifesto! The glorious light of Man as god will break over every continent in a wonderful dawning of a truly selfish millennium.

No more lovey dovey self denial and all that archaic shit! Hail to a new era where we are all little gods and goddesses. We are all the captains of our own souls, bloody but unbowed to any so-called external authority claiming to Lord it over us. We are gods! Finally We will have arrived and write our own laws, fabricate our own righteousness, own moralism, and of course not to forget, our own worship! Everybody will deserve honour, self-respect and worship. Of no one else but themselves! SELF worship! Cause how could anyone worship any other, when we are all so busy worshipping our own wonderful, creative, true selves! Hail us! All glory and praise be to us! Hail MAN! Wow! What a Human race! Everyone so human! Wonderful!

We will finally all have arrived at the top! We will set our thrones in Heaven, as Heaven will be here! Here right on earth! Our kind of Heaven! Not that driveling selfless sniveling kowtowing to the ONE, and everyone being nice and full of love! Bah no! Heaven will be US in the center of attention, us being worshipped by ourselves, and we will live like that forever!

As we genetically alter our once human race, we will become immortal on the brain-stems of our babies and their young organs, 90 % of which are safely aborted anyway! If there happens to be a lack of stems, we breed extra cloned babies in special centers so that our bodies can be replenished with any new parts whenever we need them!

Besides who still wants children! Those little pests only play computer games and need to be constantly fed and clothed and they scream in the night robbing you of sleep, and then grow up only to abuse and even kill their parents, having no sense of values, life or responsibility.

No we can just allow the growing of a few for these weirdos that do want to raise them, as long as they turn them over to the state and public school system, as soon as they hit 3, where we can protect our perfect heaven of a society against these little rapscallions, with metal detectors, stun grenades, armed bodyguards & police, armed teachers in bulletproof vests, and bars on the windows and gates, while drugs will be freely dispensed to them as soon as they enter school, being all cool & legal.

It is a bit of a mystery how they will ever learn anything, but at least they are taken care of, while we can comfortably live our lives and make our careers! Careers! Yes that is what we will be living for, and many of us do already now, to gain material things and gain as much knowledge as possible, so we can keep up our know-it-all attitudes instead of all this wisdom diatribe of yore, while all of us will no longer have anymore bosses to report or defer to, all of us being gods now, we will work alone at home at our computers, sending in our homework through the internet to our international global industries, and everything will be hunky dory——.

Praise be to Humanism! WHAT a future! WOW! WE Can hardly wait! How about you!