Not all the suicidal are depressed

People assume that if you're suicidal, that means you're super-depressed. I don't really see it that way.

If you're depressed, it's like the cares of the world are pushing you down. That's what the dictionary definition of "depression" literally is: being pushed down.

If you're suicidal, though, then you've transcended depression. I would argue that if you're contemplating suicide, yet also feeling "depressed" or "melancholy," you might not actually be suicidal. The same force -- viz., the care and concern for your life, the world, your hopes and dreams, etc. -- that would "depress" you would also tend to hold you back from killing yourself, as long as you still hold out what in your eyes is a worthwhile shred of hope.

When you're truly suicidal, you feel freed of all that. You've let it go. That weight is no longer on your back.

What replaces it is a freedom to do whatever you want. You don't even have to try to cope anymore. You can just accept the unpleasant realities, because they'll soon be irrelevant. You can indulge in whatever behavior you feel like engaging in, because what the fuck does it even matter anymore? It doesn't. Even if you suffer consequences, you won't be around much longer to have to deal with those consequences.

Hope is what keeps us going, but it's also a burden, because where there's possibility, there's an obligation to pursue your potential, or else acknowledge that you're a loser by choice, because of your laziness or fear or whatever else you let hold you back. Despair relieves the burden. The black pill, then, can be a force for personal freedom, and the only downside of it is when it's a misguided pessimism that isn't grounded in reality.

When you get burnt out to the point that you say "fuck the world," you know that the world kinda deserves what it's getting by your killing yourself. Yeah, there were cool people who sought to do good in this world, but the people who really gave it their all and truly did what this world needed them to do in order to fix society and uphold the natural law, are a tiny, tiny minority. You saw that it was not enough to save your life from being a miserable hell, in which you reached a point where it became evident that further efforts would be mostly futile, to the point of it being like banging your head against the wall when there's not even anyone around to notice (or when they notice but just laugh at you for it).

You saw that what life had to offer was just never going to rise to your standards, and that it was all because of these douchebags who caused the world to be that way, and all the bystanders who just hung around with their thumbs up their asses instead of taking action to correct the situation, when they could have made the difference; so you said "fuck it".

You also realized that your own powers were to weak to enable you to either make the difference you wanted to make singlehandedly, or to organize a team to make those changes happen. So in the end, you failed the test of life; but in your death, evolution moves forward, so it's a win either way.

Someone was telling me that Lester Burnham from American Beauty was a psychopath. No he wasn't. He just realized the futility of trying to make his situation work. His wife was a hypergamous, emasculating bitch who cheated on him, so the relationship was doomed. He acknowledged this, put her in her place, and sought to replace her with some jailbait. The only thing "wrong" with that was that he was a middle-aged guy instead of a teenage Chad trying to fuck that girl.

You know, I tried to do something similar to what Lester did. I got out of prison and went to the fast food places and was like, "I'm a former accountant who did 46 months of hard time, and I just need ANY job." Okay, I didn't word it that way, but that was the thought running through my head. Anyway, unlike in the movie, I couldn't get hired anywhere, until I falsified my resume to make it seem like my whole work history had involved similar jobs as what I was applying for.

I feel satisfied that I have enough accomplishments under my belt to justify my having existed, sort of. I feel like my hands are tied from doing much more, too, and that if I hung around, in the end I would hit a new low, in terms of living conditions and what I would be subjected to having to see happen, with regard to people I care about but lack much power to try to help. I also have come to the conclusion that my whole family should commit a mass suicide, since their lives are mostly lacking in purpose; but I'm not going to force that on them.

One could say that the whole human race is lacking in purpose, but if it weren't us hanging around and existing and living, then it would be some other species that doesn't have as much capability for introspection. So it may as well be us. Hopefully as time goes on we can evolve further, but there will always be some dissidents who are on the cutting edge of progress, who have to put up with the rest of society's being further behind and holding them back.

By this point, it seems like it should be really obvious that we need to enslave foids, for the good of everyone. But there's a massive propaganda machine that says otherwise, and a lot of social pressure for us to shut our mouths and keep our contrary opinions to ourselves. If we don't shut our own mouths, they'll try to shut them for us, I've found.

People hate the blackpill, because they want to believe that they still have a chance to get what they want in this life. They don't want to face the alternative, suicide or LDARing, and all the drawbacks those choices have. Or if they choose to continue their mainstream life, they don't want to think about the outrages that are being perpetrated against them; they want to believe in a world where they are valued and treated accordingly. Or they think that if they just humble themselves, and live and speak in accordance with the bluepilled dogma, that society will respect them for this and treat them mercifully.

It sure is fun sometimes to fuck up their world of make-believe with the black pill, shattering their illusions like funhouse mirrors, but you know what's going to fuck up their world even more? Seeing you kill yourself. Because then they're gonna be like, "WHYYYYYYYYYY would anyone do that? This world is such a good place, with opportunity for happiness for all! Anyone can get help and learn to be strong enough to overcome adversity; there's no need to be weak like that." Yet, when respected people off themselves, it's like, "Uh oh, now I have to either lose respect for them, or come to terms with what may have made them want to off themselves."

Meanwhile, the blackpilled already know, and suicides are just confirmations of their theory. They see, "Okay, this is a logical person, someone aware of the truth, who weighed the alternatives and decided none were going to work for him to his satisfaction. Sucks that we now have one fewer person like that in the world, but that's the way it goes. The world is harsh to people like that. There will be others, though."