HELP WANTED:
Scientists who are interested in joining the fictional field of Evolution Science. Qualified candidates need no science education & possess the following skills:
Taxidermy, Donkey Kong, Silly Putty, Cosmetology, Sorcery, Hoaxes, Pathological Liars, WitchCraft, Distort Facts, Egotistical Maniacs, Nazi lies, Evil, Satanic Rituals, Hypocrisy, Crippled Ethics, Lost Credibility, Medieval Magic , Rationalize & Justify Fraud, Insanity, ClimateGate,? Data Doctoring
67 comments
HELP WANTED:
Scientists who are interested in joining the fictional field of Creation Science. Qualified candidates need no science education & possess the following skills:
Taxidermy, Donkey Kong, Silly Putty, Cosmetology, Sorcery, Hoaxes, Pathological Liars, WitchCraft, Distort Facts, Egotistical Maniacs, Nazi lies, Evil, Satanic Rituals, Hypocrisy, Crippled Ethics, Lost Credibility, Medieval Magic , Rationalize & Justify Fraud (including tax fraud), Insanity, Climate Denial,? Data Doctoring
On second thought, that was just too easy.
Hoaxes, Pathological Liars, Distort Facts, Egotistical Maniacs, Hypocrisy, Crippled Ethics, Lost Credibility, Medieval Magic , Rationalize & Justify Fraud, Insanity, Data Doctoring
All these belong to the creationist camp. If your part of it and don't recognize this then your one of the dumber ones in that group. Ben Stein in Expelled wants to see these 'qualifications' in science and resents science having safeguards against it
That's a fine list, but you neglected to include Global Warming, Pedophilia, Beastiality, Socialism, Welfare, and NObama.
Waaaaaaah! I'm blind! I thought I'd let in a bit of sunshine into this mess of Dark Age prejudice, but s/he had such a shiny mirror in there, the sunlight reflected right into my eyes. Whaaaaa! The pain, the pain!
Sorry, couldn't resist...
HELP WANTED:
Creationists who are interested in joining the fictional field of Intelligent Design. Qualified candidates need no science education & possess the following skills:
Taxidermy, Donkey Kong, Silly Putty, Cosmetology, Sorcery, Hoaxes*, Pathological Liars*, WitchCraft, Distort Facts*, Egotistical Maniacs*, Nazi lies, Evil*, Satanic Rituals, Hypocrisy*, Crippled Ethics*, Lost Credibility*, Medieval Magic , Rationalize & Justify Fraud*, Insanity*, ClimateGate,? Data Doctoring*
fixed
*- Kent Hovind. Michael Behe. Ray Comfort. Just sayin'.
WhiteNoise:
Silly Putty is the trade name of that bouncy goo sold as a toy for children and, recently, as an office toy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silly_Putty
I had three 'eggs' of it when I was wee. Great stuff!
...I had no idea that the following were skills:
Pathological Liars
Distort Facts
Egotistical Maniacs
Crippled Ethics
Lost Credibility
ClimateGate
Did someone change the definition of "skills" on me?
@WhiteNoise
Silly putty is a mixture of dimethyl siloxane (65%), silica (17%), Thixatrol ST (castor oil derivative, 9%), polydimethylsiloxane (4%), decamethyl cyclopentasiloxane, glycerol and titanium dioxide (all 1%).
It's a silicon based polymer that has unusual properties in that while it behaves as an elastic solid over short periods of time it behaves as a viscoelastic liquid over longer ones.
Well damn.
I knew I should have focused on Donkey Kong instead of the bloody Donkey Kong Jr., but I never quite got a copy of that. Just the latter one. Damn you, Nintendo, for the addictive sequels!
Well, at least I didn't get Donkey Kong Jr. Math. That thing might have completely killed my chances of getting any academic education. *shiver*
Well, someone's still pissed they didn't get that D- in bio. class and had to go to summer school.
unnngggg tearchers r so stoopid! >:(
In other words...namecalling.
Great job, waketheoblivious. You've just dealt a crippling blow to the theory of evolution. It'll take us "evolutionists" decades to pick up the pieces and move on. Or something.
Someone doesn't understand that scientists have to work with scientific facts, theories and methods and not the mythos of any religion. Otherwise they'd be squabbling among themselves all day about which religion is right; that's for fundies, okay?
B I O L O G Y
You fail.
Now DIAF.
if it wasn't going to take the rest of us down, I'd really like these people to experience the results of their actions.
Unfortunately we have to do things in spite of them
@ WhiteNoise
What the hell is silly putty anyway?
Obviously one of science's greater accomplishments, like the Slinky, Sour Watermelon Gummy Worms, Whoopie Cushions, the little slimy rubber spiders you could throw against a window and they would appear to crawl down it, and oh, so much more.
The best use I ever saw for SP was you could rub it on the Sunday funnies and it would pick up the image, in reverse, and you could, uh...look at it.
wake the oblivious...
Yes please!
I am fairly confused, and mildly concerned about what Donkey Kong and Silly Putty have to do with Evolution. However, I am also convinced that a fetish for those two things combined, or indeed this whole list of these things combined exists somewhere on the internet.
Bugger, you've found us out. my PhD is'nt really in Paleoevoultionary biology, but its actually in Donkey kong and the use of silly string. How can i face my students now......im RUIINNNEDD
seriously though has it come to this with you guys, we cant refute the science so we'll fling projections and ad hominums, in the same way a chimp flings poo?
maybe you should read Hovind's "PhD" thesis and then read mine, you'll soon see the difference between real science and moronisity in its purest form
but then again you ARE a creationist, so i very much doubt it
Hold on, what does Donkey Kong have to do with any of this?
(Damn, beat to the punch by at least ten people.)
Is it that creationists are a secret group that are only in it because they support Knuckles the Echidna?
...of course! That would explain everything!
Donkey Kong FTW.
@atheist crusader
"Bugger, you've found us out. my PhD is'nt really in Paleoevoultionary biology, but its actually in Donkey kong and the use of silly string. How can i face my students now......im RUIINNNEDD"
At least that's infinitely more useful (games designers & programmers need playtesters after all) than Kent Hovind's, which he got from Patriot Bible University. Specifically it's toilet cubicle, from the roll with the sign above saying 'Religious Education degrees, please take one'.
Frankly, the only Ph.D Kentypoos has is in Talking Complete Bollocks. He's currently working on his doctorate in Buggery, Arserape, and Squealing Like A Piggy. He's being tutored by Prof. Bubba.
X3
HELP WANTED:
Scientists who interested in joining the fictional field of Creation Science. Qualified candidates need no education whatsoever and posses the following items:
A KJV Buybull, medical records verifying their lobotomy, an I.Q. in the negative, Acute Schizophrenia, an advanced persecution syndrome, and a degree of authenticity from the local psyche ward.
Fixed.
Ok, you caught us. Everything's a goddamned conspiracy of the debbil. During the first D&D cult sacrifice, we played Twisted Sister backwards and swore to lie for Evolution and make up climate change just to shake your Christian faith!
You caught us red-handed. You are an internet badass!
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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