FSTDT

And on June 19th 1946, God looked down on this planned Paradise and said “I need a caretaker,” so God gave us Trump.

God said “I need someone willing to get up before dawn, fix this country, work all day, fight the Marxists, eat supper, then go to the Oval Office and stay past midnight at a meeting of the heads of state,” so God made Trump.

“I need someone with arms strong enough to rustle the Deep State and yet gentle enough to deliver his own grandchild. Somebody to ruffle the feathers, tame cantankerous World Economic Forum, come home hungry, have to wait until the First Lady is done with lunch with friends, then tell the ladies to be sure and come back real soon, and mean it,” so God gave us Trump.

“I need somebody who can shape an axe, but wield a sword. Who had the courage to step foot in North Korea, who can make money from the tar of the sand, turn liquid to gold, who understands the difference between tariffs and inflation, will finish his 40-hour week by Tuesday noon but then put in another 72 hours,” so God made Trump.

God had to have somebody willing to go into the den of vipers, call out the Fake News for their tongues as sharp as a serpent’s, the poison of vipers is on their lips, and yet stuck. So God made Trump.

God said; “I need somebody who will be strong and courageous, who will not be afraid or terrified of the wolves when they attack, a man who cares for the flock, a shepherd to Mankind who won’t ever leave or forsake them. I need the most diligent worker to follow the path and remain strong in faith and know the belief of God and country. Somebody who’s willing to drill, bring back manufacturing in American jobs, farm the lands, secure our borders, build our military, fight the system all day and finish a hard week’s work by attending church on Sunday. And then his oldest son turns and says ‘Dad, let’s make America great again. Dad, let’s build back a country to be the envy of the world again’.”

So God made Trump.

(submitter’s note: lyrics have been abridged to meet the character limit)

They call me offensive, controversial
There's only two genders, boys and girls
They can't cancel my message
'Cause I'm the biggest independent rapper in the whole freaking world
Claim that I'm racist, yeah, right
I'm not ashamed 'cause I'm white
If every Caucasian's a bigot
I guess every Muslim's a terrorist
Every liberal is right

I don't wanna talk to folks who don't get it
Go woke, go broke, no hope, it's pathetic
Pro-choice, pronouns, pro-love, you're progressives
But you ain't pro-gun, no one to protect it
Where the American flags at?
Remember when people would hang those?
They've been taken down
They all been replaced with BLM flags or a rainbow

This ain't rap, this ain't money, cars, and clothes
We ain't sellin' drugs, we ain't gonna overdose
We ain't pushing guns, ain't promoting stripper poles
We won't turn your sons into thugs or your daughters into hoes

I don't care if I offend you, I was put here to upset you
You can cry and you can scream, you can riot in the streets
You defunded the police, now there's no one to protect you
I hope I offend you, I ask myself, "What would Ben do?"
Let's just keep it real facts, don't care how you feel, man
If you want my pronouns, I'm the man
I'm the man that don't respect you

Let's look at the stats, I've got the facts
My money like Lizzo, my pockets are fat
Homie, I'm epic, don't be a WAP
Dawg, it's a yarmulke, homie, no cap
Look at the graphs, look at my charts
You're blowing money on strippers and cars
You're going to prison, I'm on television
Dawg, no one knows who you are
Keep hating on me on the internet
My comment section all woke Karens
I make racks off compound interest
Y'all live with your parents
Nicki take some notes
I just did this for fun
All my people download this
Let's get a Billboard number one