After the Rapture #fundie

After the Rapture #fundie disappearances.info

[Directly After the Rapture]
This has got to be the most challenging event ever to face those charged with maintaining order in our society. The 24 hour missing person rule is the only reprieve anyone will get. Many roadways will be littered with accidents caused by out-of-control vehicles... vehicles without a driver. Young passengers are missing. Stranger still is the common thread of the missing drivers: a cross hanging from the mirror, a Bible in the car, a fish emblem on the back of the vehicle, and maybe even that silly bumper sticker that proclaims the warning "In case of the Rapture this vehicle will be un-manned". There just may be more truth in that statement than previously considered. Seat belts fastened with clothing arrayed as if the person just vaporized. For indeed, that is exactly what has happened.

Forensic experts would do well to examine closely the fibers of clothing in direct contact with skin, as they will likely exhibit evidence of exposure to extreme high-level electromagnetic radiation. The same principal that raised Christ from the dead in A.D. 30 is at work here in the event of the Rapture

55 comments

old comment by Brian X

I've heard the high-level radiation thing used as an explanation of the Shroud of Turin as well -- some old film created by the Moody Bible Institute. There was also a pretty awesome but probably irrelevant demonstration involving the host of the video passing high-frequency AC through his body and setting fire to a foil-wrapped board in his hand.

We used to watch a lot of this insipid garbage in Bible class. Among other things, we got to see Josh McDowell in all his smarmy glory (the film version of More than a Carpenter) and a cheesy video with a scene where the two lead characters should have kissed but didn't. IIRC there might also have been an episode of Superbook, which as I remember was an anime-styled series of Bible stories.

old comment by Horsefeathers

"...and maybe even that silly bumper sticker that proclaims the warning "In case of the Rapture this vehicle will be un-manned"."

Silly is, indeed, one word you could use to describe it. There are a few words that are a bit more colorful that would more aptly describe it.

"Forensic experts would do well to examine closely the fibers of clothing in direct contact with skin, as they will likely exhibit evidence of exposure to extreme high-level electromagnetic radiation. The same principal that raised Christ from the dead in A.D. 30 is at work here in the event of the Rapture
"

How, pray tell, does exposure to high level EM radiation "Rapture" someone, let alone bring them back to life? High level EM radiation tends to make things dead, not bring them back from that state.

old comment by Brian X

I can see the EM thing is going right over everyone's head. I will endeavor to explain.

The idea is that since matter and energy are fundamentally interchangeable, that Jesus, upon his resurrection, would have reinhabited his body, which would proceed to have momentarily become pure energy and reassembled itself outside the shroud; the energy flash would have rolled away the stone and created the apparent scorch marks seen in the Shroud of Turin. (Now that teleportation has been established as physically possible, if highly unlikely, I have no idea if the hypothesis has been revised. Knowing fundies, probably not, though they could also invoke quantum tunnelling. As if they needed another branch of science laughing their asses off at them.)

In reality, of course, the matter/energy hypothesis grossly underestimates the actual equivalence stated in E=mc^2, and the resulting "flashover" would have incinerated the shroud, blown the roof off the tomb instead of just the stone covering it, and probably wiped most of the Middle East clean off the map, making the Resurrection sort of pointless. So if the Resurrection of the body on Judgement Day happened this way, the Elect (presumably protected by an arcade game-like ghosting effect :-) ) would need a New Jerusalem -- there would be absolutely nothing left.

But hey, never let the facts get in the way of a good story, right?

old comment by Amadaun

You know, given the doctrine most rapturists hold that all children under a certain age get automatically raptured, if this happens no one is going to give a fuck about the small number of empty cars the dispensationalists leave behind. Because ALL THE CHILDREN WILL BE GONE. Everywhere. Outer Mongolia. Indonesia. Sudan. Pakistan. New York City. Have you ever lost track of your child for five minutes in New York City? Imagine the thousands of horrified parents running around the city, every city, for hours screaming their children's names and looking into one another's white faces and realizing they'll probably never see their kids again.

And before long the riots would start. Enemy nations would blame it on each other even through the enemy lost their children too. No one would ever notice you vanished without leaving a body. And no one will care.

There. Under the rules of your fantasy, I showed how it will cause the projected End of the World to begin. And you still don't matter.

“This has got to be the most challenging event ever to face those charged with maintaining order in our society.”
Really? I mean, you guys are the ones that tell the story about a missing 24 hours or whatever that can ONLY be solved by the bible account of the sun being stopped just like the Bible sez..
The story you’ll tell after the Rapture wuold be how dozens of people disappeared and the forensics experts were MYSTIFIED until someone said, ‘Hey, wonder if it ws the rapture?’

“. The 24 hour missing person rule is the only reprieve anyone will get.”
You’re a rapturereadynut. How many people will report you suddenly shutting up?

"Many roadways will be littered with accidents caused by out-of-control vehicles...”
most? I doubt that many people actually qualify.

"Young passengers are missing.”
The age of accountability is extra-biblical.

“Stranger still is the common thread of the missing drivers:”
But will anyone even notice that common thread? Three cars with crosses on mirrors/bumpers/key fobs may get an investigator’s attention, but a few million people with similar virtue-signalling jewelry will still be here…

“… evidence of exposure to extreme high-level electromagnetic radiation.”
Why would God send a radioactive angel to gather the chosen?

"The same principal that raised Christ from the dead in A.D. 30 is at work here in the event of the Rapture”
A happy little fantasy that the most annoying of evangelicals are going to go away, but you’ll be back right away after failing the entrance exam. “How many fields did you leave unreaped for the homeless?” “Um, um, teach a man to fish! Unwilling to work! Charity is only for brothers in Christ!”