We believe the universe and all that is within it was created in 6 literal days because of one thing. JESUS RAISING UP FROM THE DEAD.
Fin.
Since HE rose up from the dead, then Gen. 1:1 is correct and right. Then HE really did create the entire universe in 6 literal days.
Guess what? HE rose up from the dead! Now you are hosed!
SOLI DEO GLORIA.
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Now, all you have to do is prove Jesus rosed from the dead and you might have a point. And, no, some words written in a book full of errors and contradictions doesn't prove anything other than your gullibility.
I believe that the universe and all that is within it was created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster because of one thing: I HAD RAVIOLI FOR DINNER LAST THURSDAY.
Fin.
(Actually, I didn't, which makes the ravioli line as true as jesus rising from the dead.)
Not that I believe that either event happened. But what the hell does one have to do with the other?
Some very good Christians in this world believe that Jesus rose, but that Genesis is a metaphor.
I believe my dog can fly, that my cat can breathe fire and that I can make regular water rifles fire blaster bolts because of one thing. THE 2000 SQUARE KILOMETER TUNNEL AND CAVE NETWORK UNDER MY HOUSE.
Fin.
Since the TUNNEL NETWORK exists, my other claims are right. Then the TUNNEL NETWORK really did somehow serve as the source of the powers of my cat, dog and myself.
Guess what, the TUNNEL NETWORK exists! Now you are hosed!
I LIKE WOLVES.
How does a claim that Jesus rose from the grave in the New Testament, prove any other claim in the New Testament, let alone claims in the Old Testament?
We do not know that Jesus rose from the dead. But even if we did, it proves nothing about Jesus's divinity, nor the validity of any other unverified, supernatural claim made in Biblical texts.
Fail.
"We believe the universe and all that is within it was created in 6 literal days because of one thing. POP TARTS COME IN STRAWBERRY.
Fin.
Since THEY come in strawberry, then Gen. 1:1 is correct and right. Then HE really did create the entire universe in 6 literal days."
Makes just as much sense.
No, no, no, Muhammad was the true prophet, we know this, that makes everything in the Qur'an true.
right...
"The wheels of logic go round and round, round and round, round and round..."
You know, that forum christianforums.com is fun, you have a little of everything, smart people, catholics, AND the ocational morron thinking he owns the truth just because he says so...
guess in wich category SoF falls XD
romans: We're gonna kill you Jesus!
Jesus: oh noes!
*crucified*
Jesus: *death*
*3 days later*
Jesus: I'm back! And now to create the universe!!
*Events of Genesis 1*
*remainder of old testament*
Romans: We're gonna kill you Jesus!
Jesus: Oh- Wait. This doesn't make any fucking sense!
Did you check your brain at the door?
Even from a fundie viewpoint, that makes zero sense what so ever.
Wait, this makes much more sense:
Ah;o ioi a[oi ;ar ;p aoi aoia aio ao[po ai[o aoapooir9pr [p8gh h gnaov noa[ g oa O Oih aoh oapo k ld'[ao a'[jank aa'lka aoig aaoa oao'a oihja oa ' oha' aoihg'oihja' oha'olhagf/with a cantaloupe.
Finis
In an effort to try and make this garbage make more sense I just ran it through a 4 rotor enigma machine and succeeded.
The machine setings were B reflector, rotors Gamma set to 11, VI set to 05, VIII set to 23 and IV set to 03, plugboard setings as follow AL BQ CS DJ FK HY MR OZ PT VX.
KQCA RNXW HUKX CSFT PPYR ECWS KYPZ RNQN AFAI NDJX MOYN QRUW IKOY MLZF BIUN QOUX QQSO WGWE AOXU ZJQZ FDAH YTYT CXZJ DFBN TQHD VVNT PJZS DKCN BGNV RDXF EGJN JEAX IKYU FTQW CRDB QLAU IQYL VPSQ TEVP KNAC SKQJ SZCA ZDZR JTSX HMSW MMXU KIDC RRWB TZML DJCM HUTQ WJNS MSKH AKPE AQMA LXAD MCRT NZBT RXRB DEAV ZFZQ FZIR FWGO RVBW FKGI XPZQ
See, makes loads more sense now.
Fin?? What does a fish appendage have to do with anything??
Oh, I'm sorry, that's FRENCH... Well, along with the Latin and the English we have some tri-lingual nonsense!
Wow. For one thing, Gen 1:1 does not say that the earth was created in six days, but that God created the heavens and the earth. Secondly, those two events have nothing to do with each other.
Well it's nonsense of course, but not nonsequitur nonsense. What this fundie attempts to say is "since Jesus could rise from the dead (an impossible feat), and since he is same as God, then Genesis (likewise an impossible feat) was easy as pie" i.e. if B and C are patently impossible, and A does B, then A must have had no trouble doing C as well.
Oh. Their. God.
"Now you are hosed! SOLI DEO GLORIA" is one of the funnier things I've read in a while. Almost up there with, "Q.E.D., bitches. Q.E.D." (courtesy of FrinkTank.com)
Oh, and ShieldOFaith needs to look up "non sequitur" in the dictionary and then glue a bologna sandwich to his head.
how does that prove anything?
oh, and beofre you answer that, prove jesus revived himself, thank you :)
First off, Jesus was the SON OF GOD. He didn't create the Universe. By creating universe, then teaching about worshipping the creator God(in this case Jesus himself), Jesus would be violating the First Commandment.
Second, @ David B.:
image
We believe the universe and all that is within it was created in 6 literal days because of one thing. JESUS RAISING UP FROM THE DEAD.
You do realise that you've just plainly asserted that, even from your own point of view, for the four thousand years until then, there really was no reason to believe, right? Consider the implications of this.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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