fated #fundie

fated #fundie christianforums.com

Masturbation makes conjugal love cheap. It is addictive and drives marriages apart. It is almost impossible to do so without lusting, and lusting in an addicted manner causes a degraded sense of worth for the object of your affection... in conjunction with the act.

It is the first step toward relativism of various sexual relations and decreases the unitive force of the licit conjugal act.

Which in turn harms the family. And thus degrades society. Leading to divorce, abortion, and various other nefarious things.

It also appears to wash out the natural and fruitful initiative of the male spirit.

Any questions?

78 comments

old comment by Aethernaut

Yeah fated, I've got a question. What planet are you fucking living on?!

Masturbation is fun, especially if you do it WITH your partner. Not to mention it's got nothing to do with making "conjugal love cheap." You just pulled that one out of your ass. Of course, looking at it, you pulled the whole post out of your ass.

If we take your word for it that masturbation leads to divorce, fundy Christians must be doing a whole lot of jerking off. According to a Barna study from 1999 "divorce rates among conservative Christians were significently higher than for other faith groups, and for Atheists and Agnostics." The highest rate is 34% divorce rate among non-denominational (small conservative groups; independents) Christians, followed by a 29% rate for Baptists.

old comment by Eric

This is Dante's fault.

DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!

old comment by Redhunter

Masturbation makes conjugal love cheap.
Conjugal love/ it’s driving me mad/ it’s making me crazy, crazy/
It is addictive
SCREECH! What the fuck? Masturbation is not addictive, but as almost anything, can be taken too far. Please use your genitals in moderation.
and drives marriages apart.
Bitch, masturbation has single-handedly saved more marriages than dr phil or ann landers could ever fucking do. pwnd
It is almost impossible to do so without lusting, and lusting in an addicted manner causes a degraded sense of worth for the object of your affection... in conjunction with the act.
If conjuring up an image of a hottie or looking at porn is considered lust, then sure. But you also believe that anything you think about is just as sinful as doing it, so you’re a bit jaded. Here’s how that is bullshit; our minds work on a semi-automatic level sometimes, and it puts together certain ideas. If we never imagined anything new, we’d never advance. So between conscious thinking and semi-conscious thinking we image lots. If god wants to call the natural function of our brains to be a sin’ then that’s no sweat off my back. But by that logic’, I’ve climbed mt Everest and had a four-way with Famke Jansson, Scarlett Johannson, and Justine Jolie.
It is the first step toward relativism of various sexual relations and decreases the unitive force of the licit conjugal act.
No, it’s the release of building pressure to reduce the likelihood of an onboard explosion.
Which in turn harms the family. And thus degrades society. Leading to divorce, abortion, and various other nefarious things.
It harms the family? Only if they catch you doing it.
Degrades society? My wife is gone for two weeks, if I go to the other room and rub one off, how is that going to affect society? Answer? It fucking won’t you twat!
It also appears to wash out the natural and fruitful initiative of the male spirit.
Now you’ve completely lost me. Is that a euphemism for shooting the yogurt?
Any questions? "
Yes. Yes, oh yes.
Question the first; how long have you been having these episodes?

old comment by Swede

You don't like masturbation? DON'T MASTURBATE! Mind your own business.

To the rest of us, masturbation probably SAVES more marriages than it breaks. Very few couples are exactly compatible when it comes to sex-drive and lust, and each need to let off a bit of steam, once in a while.

"A degraded sense of worth for the object of your affection"? Your husband/wife is NOT an object, asshole!

How the heck can masturbation lead to abortion?
Masturbation is GOOD for the "male spirit"; guys who masturbate have fewer problems in later life, with prostate, testes, etc.

Questions?
What does it matter to you, whether other people masturbate or not?
You do know that women masturbate too, right? What about the natural and fruitful initiative of the female spirit?

fated #fundie christianforums.com

78 comments

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