Whenever I encounter Satan at work, I tell him out loud to hit the road, in Jesus' name. Having had demonic encounters in our home in the past, I dealt with it by declaring our home a place where Jesus dwells and is welcome, but the works of the enemy are not, and I prayed at that time through my whole house--every room and every closet---declaring it a place for the Lord's glory alone, and I did anoint with oil the door frames of each doorway, including our front door. Then we fasted and prayed for deliverance of the family member so affected, and sent her to a place where she would receive help and deliverance.
We've moved since, and our children are now grown, but we have declared our property, at its very perimeter, as belonging to God and revealing His glory. It is hallowed ground because we belong to God.
37 comments
You forgot to sacrifice a goat or two to your mystical boogeyman in the sky. After you sacrifice it, then you can read its entrails for signs of the sky-boogeyman's will. Everyone knows this is the proper way to go about these things. Come on, man!
"Then we fasted and prayed for deliverance of the family member so affected
Ok this isn't funny anymore. What the fuck is wrong with you people!? Unless this place you sent her to was a hospital, you deserve to be convicted in a criminal court of neglect and withholding of care.
Seriously, why do you crazy fuckers hate modern medicine so much?
and I did anoint with oil the door frames of each doorway, including our front door.
I hope you used holy Iraqi oil, as the good Republican Jesus told you to.
Funny. I don't pray at all, yet satan has never come to visit me. Nor have I had any demonic encounters in my home, ever, except that centipede one time. Wait I thought religion was supposed to protect you, yet satan seems to be singling you out. Another theory blown all to hell and gone....
This reminds me of the time I got home just before a big storm during tornado weather. I live in a multiplex and while I was catching my breath to carry my bike up the stairs I smelled that woodsy smell olive oil gets when it's old. Looking around for a source because.. well, that was a just plain weird thing to smell, I caught a bit of trail light off the door next to me.
The lady who had moved in earlier that month had put a fresh cross on the door in olive oil about the size of my hand. Rolling my eyes I already knew our complex was protected.. by the geography of the city and surrounding landscape. My city is protected from most tornado activity because of the way the mountains are situated, if a tornado ran into us it would have all the steam knocked out of it at once and maybe a lower level one would make it into the city limits, but it wouldn't last long.
As much fun as it is to salt my apartments and smudge them with incense, I know better than to put all my trust in oil, smoke and words.
"Whenever I encounter Satan at work...."
And now I can't get this image out of my head of a yellow, diamond-shaped sign at the side of the road, with a black silhouette of a horned head and the tip of a pitchfork, and the words "CAUTION - SATAN AT WORK".
Regards & all,
Thomas L. Nielsen
Seek help, genuine help, from accredited professionals that will aid you and those in your family that also have mental illnesses. I hope your family member that you've sent away has gone to somewhere that has credible carers and therapists (if they are actually mentally ill), but I'm fearing the worst.
You must be the talk of the town, dearie.
It's funny that it's only fundies that encounter Satan...
We have all kinds of cultural things in our house, so everyone feels welcome. One of those waving Chinese cats, a Greek "stone" warding off the Evil Eye, a crocheted thing hanging by the door protecting from something or other, etc.
@Kanna
That's because you reside in a place called reality.
Yeah they, specifically the fundamentalists but nuttier side of all denominations are plagued by Demons all the time. They have no problem dealing with them as they're so Holy YET they are continually being bothered by them. Demons can't stand the utterance of the name Jesus, yet you must pray regularly over the house and family and enlist clergy to even shift them.
We mostly see these demon issues expressed by the faiths that see themselves as persecuted, since there's no real human persecution outside in the real world they like to pretend they're sentinels holding the demon hoards back.
''I tell him out loud to hit the road, in Jesus' name.’'
And then he went to Jesus’ pad and engaged in some sweet sweet lovemaking.
"I prayed at that time through my whole house--every room and every closet---declaring it a place for the Lord's glory alone, and I did anoint with oil the door frames of each doorway, including our front door."
But you missed the secret room behind the bookcase. Satan was in that room the whole time.
Well, let me find this house. I will tread three circles 'round it, and invoke the winds before sage walking their entire house.
Cause they've got some evil up in that bitch.
'Euphemia', eh? And when mere shou ting isn't enough against 'the enemy'...?:
image
Lelouch orders you to use the last round on yourself ! >:D [/"Code Geass"]
b]++"Whenever I encounter Satan at work, I tell him out loud to hit the road, in Jesus' name."
Why don't you just find another job instead? You won't have to put up with him anymore and he won't have to deal with a hostile work environment.
I'm just imagining this turkey trying to anoint the door frames where I used to work before I retired (yes I know he was talking about his house but my mind took a leap).
That would have been fucking entertaining.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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