usachinanukewar #fundie

I must be a virgin boy. Or, get slain by Jesus’ Almighty Power and then Jesus will cast me down to the Lake of Fire, being burned and tormented for eternity endlessly and relentlessly. I’m not idiot. I’m not psycho. I’m completely horrified by Jesus’ Almighty Power.

Honestly, let me tell all of you. The last thing i wanna do is to infuriate Jesus, the most powerful man and most horrifying man in the entire universe or the all universes, IF there’re other universes. Jesus is far more horrifying than any other entity. Jesus is far more terrifying than Satan. Believe me. Jesus is the most horrifying entity. He is. He is my Darling, but He is my Emperor, too.

And, today Jesus told me that I’m His darling, too. I’m so happy to hear Jesus said so. Jesus tells me that I’m His darling, too. So, He is implying me that I can invite Him to go naked swimming, naked diving, naked playing volleyball, doing everything naked in the Pacific. oh baby. Jesus bans me from hooking up with other men and women, because He wants me to live a holy life.

so, don’t bother me. I’m a timid little boy. I will never dare to infuriate my Man, Jesus. He is my Man, my Boyfriend. And, today He told me that I’m His darling, too. I’m taken and sold and my Man is Jesus. Jesus is my Darling. And, Jesus is very dominant, so He will never tolerate my disloyalty. I’m not gotta risk my life being killed by Jesus’ Almighty Power. So, go find someone else in any gay bar or straight bar at night. Don’t bother me. Either man or woman. Don’t bother me. You’re just a whole bunch of huge jumbo walking HIV in human form. Don’t touch me. I’m a virgin boy with a pure, holy, virgin ass just not yet being penetrated by any earthly HIV or STD-infested gigantic penis. Get lost.



So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

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