NonNobis #fundie forums.catholic.com

I really HATE to bring up this topic, because it's always on these forums.

I'm an 18 year old male, Cradle Catholic, and I really struggle with masturbation. Used to be porn, too, but I think that's stopped now (I pray).

I've actually been masturbating since I was five, but I can't remember how it started. I didn't realize it was wrong until I was twelve. The longest I've ever gone without falling is 3-4 weeks, and I can't stand how helpless everything seems. I go to confession, I give it an honest effort, and it never fails that I have to go back within a week or two. A couple of times I've just given up for months out of depression.

I pray frequently, always asking God to guard me against temptation, and I avoid whatever I can that would cause me to falter. I don't care if it makes me seem radical: I don't go to pools or beaches; if I'm watching a movie that "surprises" me , I get up and leave; if conversations turn a tempting way, I change the subject or walk away; I avoid teenage parties in general, and I don't talk to girls by myself. That's gone a long way for me.

For the past 6 months, though, it hasn't been external temptations, but internal ones that catch me. I'll make it a week (whoo!), feeling like I'm making progress, and then I get urges that keep coming in waves, until I give in. They aren't caused by or attached to anything. They just appear, seemingly at random. How can I defeat these?

Can I use a chastity device? I'm not looking for a way to make masturbation impossible. Nothing can do that, just like an internet filter can't stop you from using a password. But it makes it more difficult, at least. I would have to apply effort and CHOOSE to masturbate, and that might help me stop. Has anybody ever done/heard of this?

I really hate this sin, and I'm willing to use everything at my disposal to stop it. Whatever you end up telling me, though, please pray for me.

Sorry for the long post.

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