Okay, I am leaning towards beleiving that in Heaven, God, the angels and the saints will all speak Elizabethan English.
Just to address an issue above, I believe that the words of Jesus in other languages are what he said, but they are always translated into God's heavenly language afterwards.
62 comments
English is an absolutely fantastic language. I really do love it.
I do not, however, think that it is the language of God, and I doubt I would if I believed in God. Rather, I kinda of think that any and all languages would be a-ok.
Osiris: I believe all extraterristials speak Mandarian Catnonese. That makes the same amount of sense right?
Yeah, except that Cantonese and Mandarin are two different dialects of Chinese. Other than that, your assertion rivals the original post. :)
<< I worship Shakespeare as much as the next English major, but dude. >>
Shell: That has got to be the second most ironically elegant language-related comment EVER.
The first was when Conan O'Brian noted a scholarly study's findings that women are more eloquent with language than men, and said in response: "Duh!"
~David D.G.
I believe all extraterristials speak Mandarian Catnonese. That makes the same amount of sense right?
No, Osiris, I have the latest research that tells me that extraterrestrials speak Japanese. Great, now we have a "holy" war on our hands. Prepare for my pamphlets! ... oh and the shunning.. can't forget the shunning.
*snicker*
Imagine how much fun it will be when lukasaurus dies, arrives in Heaven and they're all speaking Enochian.
So when, exactly, did the fundies begin giving blowjobs to the KJV?
English blows as a language. I would hope that the official language would be something much more precise and poetic.
May I suggest French? :P
So the heavenly language didn't exist until the 1500's C.E.? You really are dumber than a box of rocks. Don't feel bad, stupidity is powerful, a generation ago Sunday School teachers were telling their students that Hebrew was the language of heaven and it was also the language of Adam & Eve. Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose......
It's Jacobean English, not Elizabethan.
I'm reminded of a stupid record I had to listen to in a Sunday school class, called "Flight F-I-N-A-L: A Dramatic Comparison to Death." It portrayed the trip the heaven as a literal flight in a 707, with passengers singing hymns on the way. Then Jesus comes out of the cockpit saying: "Thy Captain speaking."
And the fact that Elizabethan English didn't exist more than 500 years ago -- and ENGLISH didn't exist more than 1600 years ago -- doesn't bother you. Okay, fine.
So Jesus spoke to God in a language which wasn't going to exist at all for another 1,500 years. Oooookaaaay.
Just a small question -- you speak English, and you're saying that's God's language, too. Just a coincidence?
MK, here is the record in question. Hearken to the inflight announcement from Captain Jebus:
Your attention please. I am thy captain. The flight thou art making today is the same which Abraham, Moses, John, Peter, Paul, and all of those redeemed before have made. Enoch and Elijah joined us in mid-flight, without passing through the Gate of Death. We shall be flying today at altitudes unlimited and at a speed never known to thee before. Flying time to the New Jerusalem is not considered, for thou are now in the realm known as Eternity, where Time is no more. As we left the Earth, the weather was stormy with heavy overcast, but the report from the New Jerusalem is, as it always will be, a beautiful day without a cloud.
image
arthur
Before English was invented, what did the angels speak?
Esperanto?
Okay, I am leaning towards beleiving that in Heaven, God, the angels and the saints will all speak Elizabethan English.
Is that so? Then I guess Moses could read perfect English, otherwise God used Hebrew with Moses and centuries later humans independently discovered the language of God (wow).
The Jamo
So Elizabethan English is the heavenly language now? Why would god need to use a langauge anyway? Cant he just send his requests out telepathically?
Hm, maybe this is why the bible is so confusing - English is such a bitch to learn, even god couldn't handle it when "he wrote the book" ;-)
Seeing as Man Called True already beat me to an Enochian comment, I'm voting for Heavenly telepathy.
Or maybe they'll just hand out Crackberries and we can all email/text each other for eternity.
Elizabethan English - assuming you're referring to that spoken by Shakespeare rather than that in modern-day UK, was not as circumlogical as nowadays. A fart was a fart - not a "bottom-burp", so you could find god using remarkably "earthy" terms
Reminds me of the south park episode...
Missionary: No no Marvin, say it in God's language, English
Moron! The sources for the Bible are in Latin, Greek and Jewish. Nobody spoke Elizabethan English at the time when Jesus was born, nor did they do it four thousand years before that.
The Bible I read was in Swedish, but I'm not stupid enough to think that that is the original. However, IF God, the angels and the saints are real, I bet they'll be able to speak to everyone in their native tounge. So if your native tounge is Elizabethan English, then they will speak to you like that.
However, again, I don't think you really understand Elizabethan English.
My first thought: Blackadder the Second, with wings and a robe and a halo, caught with Angelic Elizabeth's robe up around her ears.
But maybe that's just me.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.