Heaven will be so joyous I almost shudder thinking about it. Heaven will like a constant full body orgasm except not sexual.
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So, if 7 sneezes equal 1 orgasm ... how many sneezes is heaven? If you're constantly sneezing, the sort of sneeze that makes your toes hurt it's so powerful, how much adulation of God are you going to get done?
You just keep thinking that. As for me, the idea of stroking god's insatiable ego for eternity as described in the bible - long after the sun has burnt out and all life has been extinguished - sounds pretty much like hell, but with a nicer climate. I'd rather just be dead, thank you very much.
orgasms are by definition, sexual.
Also, every definiton of heaven I've seen sounds boring, and every description of the "saved" in Heaven I've seen sounds like brainwashed robots.
You know, at least the Muslims admit their heaven is all about unfettered hedonism. I mean, get up, pig out, fuck everything that moves, and finish off with a massive hit of opium that you can't overdose on -- if I understand it properly, that's totally Islamic heaven, at least for the men.
Christians want that too, but the whole concept of Christian heaven is so abstract as to border on the meaningless.
It'll be just like the intense culmination of orgasms, but not in a sexual way? WTF?
Well, that does it. No Fundie Heaven for me - I'd be bored within a few hours.
"Seriously, this was nice at first, but can we have something different, please?"
At least their Hell has whips & chains & succubi.
Heaven sounds like the Orgasmatron in the old Woody Allen movie, "Sleeper"
Actually, heaven has a beer volcano and a stripper factory.
I don't know about everyone else here, but during orgasms I'm pretty much inncapacitaded for that time. So in heaven I'd be etenrally incapacitated? Actually sounds kinda lame. Don't me wrong, I like orgasms as much as anyone, I'm just not sure I'd want to spend eternity having one thereby not be able to do ANYTHING else forever.
Besides, after a million life times the novelty probably wears off lol.
Heaven is a Grateful Dead concert.
[Pun?...whatever.]
Chocolate rollercoasters...Pilsner-flavored strippers...
"Sorry babe, not now...I got my Holy O shift cumming up..."
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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