Girl Quotes Translated to English

I searched for threads on quotes and didn't find any official quote thread so I thought I would post a few. I even went through the painstaking effort of translating them into English.

“I want the guy that takes me to meet his parents and not his bedroom.”

Translation:
I want the nice guy because society has programmed me to think I want him. However, biology has programmed me very differently. Oh well, I will have my cake and eat it too. The beta can take me to his parents house while the alpha picks me up later and takes me to his bedroom.

“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”

Translation:
You need to accept my poor behavior because it’s all a part of who I am as a person. You shouldn’t want or need to “put me in my place”, you should just accept me for who I am. If we date, I’m going to push you as far as I can with bitchy behavior and I’m going to stop trying altogether. Relationships change over time so you just have to accept this. I’m going to push you as far as your tolerance will allow so hopefully it goes pretty far. If you can’t handle the decreasing appreciation I will show you as time goes on, then you don’t deserve me shaving my legs for you on a daily basis.

And for my personal favorite...

“If you would like to be a part of my future, don’t judge me for my past.”

Translation:
I am free from all responsibility of my actions. No matter how many guys I’ve slept with, I will always be entitled to my prince charming. The soccer team I sucked off when I was in high school? Don’t worry about them. Worry about where you’re taking me out to dinner tonight instead. The dozens of guys I fucked in college who had no respect for me whatsoever as they railed me weekend after weekend? Don’t worry about them. Worry about saving up $15k for my ring instead. The countless random hook ups I had from nights out on the town and tinder dates in my yuppie years? Pay no mind to those. Worry about saving up to buy a house we can’t afford instead.

Anyone heard any other good ones?