We are going to a wedding soon, and we are going to get new bodies and robes. The robes will be shining white and spotless and our bodies will never grow old or sicken or get dirty....ever.Our bridegroom is the most perfect person in the entire universe.....which He made by the way. He is the most wonderful and mighty and worthy Person to ever live......He is our Lord God Almighty. He chose......us. Can you get your head around that? He chose us to be His beloved. You and me and all the millions of belivers who live or ever lived. He knew us before we were concieved, and chose us. He loved us from the beginning. HE LOVES US. We are his bride, His beloved, and He is getting ready to come for us. We are going to a wedding.........and we are going to marry the King Of Kings,Lord of Lords, The Holy Lamb of God, Jesus Christ our Saviour, the only Son of God. We are going to a wedding, the biggest most beautiful wedding to ever take place..........ever.
100 comments
Wow, someone is going to be extremely disappointed some day.
This is nauseating and flat-out fucking weird.
And there are going to be clowns and balloons and pretty pink unicorns, and we're going to get to throw pies into the face of that icky Tammy Lou Sneedermeyer down the street who pushed me over on my bike, and there's gonna be a laser show and a Litttle Pony marathon and ice cream and cake and candy!!!!!
There's more!
Someone else in this thread says that God has been preparing the "honeymoon chamber" for 2000 years and we can't even begin to comprehend how amazing it will be.
I have to say, God collectively sexing millions of Christians WOULD be pretty amazing...amazingly fucked up.
Don't forget the big beautiful mansion you get to live in for eternity.
Actually it sounds pretty dull and boring to me. I'll take my chances getting left behind with all the men who wives have gone off to marry their fantasy :P
We are going to a wedding soon, and we are going to get new bodies
Where did you have your wedding? My wife was hoping that I would have gotten a new body when we got married, but it didn't happen. Oh wait, that's not what you meant.
"For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven." (Mark 12:25)
It's not surprising that the RR folks would literally believe the lunatic ramblings in Revelation about some mystical wedding of the lamb and think it meant they were going to "marry" Christ. They never listen to Jesus or the Gospels when they can find some nonsense more to their liking in the Pauline epistles or Revelation.
Meh, like I said, you're so pathetic right now you just keep telling yourself over and over again, "When I die, I'll finally be hot, and I'll live in a mansion with a driveway paved in gold and a celestial Lamborghini in my garage." I can only begin to imagine what a loser you are.
Ya know, ever since I totally abandoned Christianity and organized religion entirely, I'm genuinely beginning to be really creeped out by how cultish all this Jesus shit is. I was brought up to obviously not see it as strange, but when you're really outside looking in, it kinda fucks with my head...
What if you don't want to marry him? What if you are the perfect Christian your whole life, you get up there and say "Sorry Jesus, I think you rock and everything, but I just am not ready for that kind of a commitment. Have fun with your honeymoon orgy though!"
Do you realize how many brides there's going to be? 144,000 according to Revelation, more according to you idiots. So just how much time do you think Jesus is going to have for you?
Why do I see a bunch of cat fighting jealousy going on.
I wonder how any sane person can read this with a straight face, much less be the person who types it. Does caligal ever read what she wrote and think, 'Wow, I sound like I'm absolutely batshit crazy! What the fuck is wrong with me?'?
@ DayGlow: Apparently not. Someone in the thread thanks her for the post, and she responds by saying that god nudged her to write it. (Well, actually, she just says that god has been nudging her all day. Maybe that's why the marriage porn...)
Just when I think they've hit rock-bottom, they burrow through the bedrock and become even freakier than before.
"He knew us before we were concieved, and chose us" chose them!
"He knew us before we were concieved, and chose us. He loved us from the beginning."
That sounds like Calvinist, predestination heresy to me.
But what if I don't want to have sex with the Jeez?
I kinda prefer men who are alive, and *erm* intact, IYKWIM.
This isn't very fundi.
Sure, it's overly enthusiastic but it's basically a person explaining what mainstream Christian theology tells them will happen. (the person in question probably is a fundi but this particular quote isn't.)
To qualify as 'fundi' a think a religious belief should lead to outrageous hatred, racism, sexism, moral depravity, denial of reality or rejection of basic logic.
To believe that we go to heaven after we die is no more fundi than to hold most other religious or non-religious beliefs of what happens to our souls after that. Such beliefs may be unfounded or on shaky ground but that does not qualify as fundamentalism either.
"To qualify as 'fundi' a think a religious belief should lead to [...] denial of reality or rejection of basic logic."
caligal;
"Exactly how many millions of phalluses does your god have?"
So Jesus is Slaanesh? Well, considering OT Yahweh's "Blood for the Blood God!" tendancies, I guess that makes some sense...
Aah, this is hilarious! But I'm just wondering: is caligal single, and if not, what does her man like her planning marring another man?
While at first reading this is funny, I actually find this post and the others on the thread quite sad,when I think about it further.
Has anyone found the crazy pagan religion Evangelists and Baptists sprung from? They must have the Catholics beat many time over with Dogma count.
Is Poltergeist 2 a true movie? Was that preist the founder of Wackadoo Fundie theology?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
