Thank you Troops #fundie

Thank you Troops #fundie hannity.com

The way that evolution was taught to me in school was that over millions of years man evolved from amoeba, then become monkey, then became man. That clearly goes against the Biblical teachings that God created man in His image in one 24 hour day. It teaches that man sinned, then new he was naked and God made the first clothes in the whole word for him. The Bible teaches that God created man in his image with intelligence. The way that evolution teaches is that our intelligence was evolved over time. That does not compute together. If evolutionists are saying that there can be a God, which God are they referring to, surely not the God of the Bible.

If evolution is true where is the evidence? Where are the half man half apes stuck in the evolution process? How come monkeys are not still evolving say 10 a day into man? How come man is not still evolving into a flying being? How come we stopped evolving?

50 comments

old comment by Prager

Here we have a sad yet classic example of Hovinditis. Notice the thickening of the skull and, if we were to open the cranium, we would also note the atrophic nature of the brain. The effects of which are an inability to think beyond a pre-school level, an inability to distinguish between reality and fantasy, all conversation can generally be described as gibberish and a refusal to pay federal taxes. Also, note how the ears are now covered by a thick membrane that filters out uncomfortable facts. Currently, there is no cure but we are confident that with the upcoming imprisonment of the condition’s source - “dr. Hovind” - we are confident of finding an effective treatment.

old comment by Redhunter

Prager: hilarious!
"The way that evolution was taught to me in school was that over millions of years man evolved from amoeba, then become monkey, then became man." Your teacher or you was/is an idiot. One guess as to which one I think is the dumb one. "That clearly goes against the Biblical teachings that God created man in His image in one 24 hour day." No shit! Because that theory is delusional. You invent a creator, and say that something happened. That doesn’t' mean it really happened. Do you know of anything else in the world that just pops into existence? Of course not. "It teaches that man sinned, then (k)new he was naked and God made the first clothes in the whole word for him." Another bizarre idea. God makes all of the animals of the world naked, makes humans, who were created in his/their image naked, and once they have knowledge, they are to be ashamed and hide parts of god's 'wonderful' creation. Does this mean god has low self esteem or a tiny prick? "The Bible teaches that God created man in his image with intelligence." In his image yes, which he apparently hates, but not with intelligence, that was bestowed upon man by his own doing. He wanted to be as god, therefore, if you believe it all, they were NOT intelligent, but god saw to it to lay it in front of them, talk it up, and then allow talking reptiles to convince them that they should partake. "The way that evolution teaches is that our intelligence was evolved over time." That's not so hard to grasp, or it shouldn't be. Once again, did anything just pop into existence? Was the automobile created before wheels and engines? Were computers created before stone tools? It is a progression. It is hard to see progression when you only look at the world one day at a time, but read some history books, it will (should) become clearer. "That does not compute together." Not if you wear blinders and earplugs, or spend your day with your nose in a bible. "If evolutionists are saying that there can be a God, which God are they referring to, surely not the God of the Bible." Believers in the Theory of Evolution, if that's what you are referring to, generally don't subscribe to a god, so I have not one stinking clue as to what you mean by that. If this is part of that, "Evolution is a religion" thing, you are wrong, wrong, wrong. It is a study of facts, not a worship of fiction. "If evolution is true where is the evidence?" Blinders and earplugs. "Where are the half man half apes stuck in the evolution process? How come monkeys are not still evolving say 10 a day into man? How come man is not still evolving into a flying being? How come we stopped evolving?" We haven't stopped evolving, it takes a looooooooong time for changes to become evident. Since you have chosen to ask silly questions about a topic you clearly know nothing of, you make yourself out to be a fool. Humans and 'monkeys' descend from a COMMON ancestor, one species of animal does not spring from another. Remember, the popping in existence of something overnight is a BIBLICAL concept. Do not project your physics-defying lies onto reality. If you don't know what you are talking about, put down the bible and read some facts. There is a whole world of things that will surprise or frighten you. The unknown ceases to be scary when you educate your mind instead of walling it off from the rest of the world.

old comment by Adrian

It teaches that man sinned, then new he was naked and God made the first clothes in the whole word for him.
Is it just me, or does the "God made the first clothes in the whole word for him" part sound really like something a 5 years old would say? Aside from that, read your own story book, moron: they improvised a G-string with fig leaves, Gawd didn't give them squat. If evolutionists are saying that there can be a God, which God are they referring to, surely not the God of the Bible. Aside from the fact that there is no such thing as "evolutionists", it's only biblical litteralists who have a problem with the ToE, most Christians I know have no problem conciliating evolution and their faith. If evolution is true where is the evidence? Everywhere, provided you can read a biology with an open mind. Where are the half man half apes stuck in the evolution process? This one I really don't get. Do they actually expect fossiles of half-octopus half horse creatures to exist? Or am I somehow misreading them? How come monkeys are not still evolving say 10 a day into man? Apparently they really do believe that one can change species during one's own lifetime... Also missing the point that the current conditions aren't the same than when Australopithecus Afarensis or more recent hominids appeared, so even if that kind of evolution was possible the result would most certainly not be human. How come man is not still evolving into a flying being? Uh, because there is no evolutionary push or benefit for modern man to evolve winged flight, maybe? We have a brain to design planes or hang gliders and hands to build them. Clearly, TyT doesn't have the slightest idea of how radical the modifications required to create a half-functional flying being from the human pattern would be, or of how long it would take: I doubt that an being the size and weight of an human could be supported by natural wings, particularly if those are modeled upon bat wings (the closest thing there is to an actual flying mammalian). The head would also probably be too heavy, disrupting flight balance. So even disconsidering the weight/size aspect, you'd have to give up human hands and seriously reduce the skull and brain, and thus the intelligence, of that "man-bat". Absolutely not a fair trade! As for the classic angel-type wings, they would require a complete reorganization of the basic mammalian skeletal structure, adding a pair of limbs, and they still wouldn't allow you to achieve lift-off. Completely useless... How come we stopped evolving? Populations evolve (over a very long time span), individuals don't, you nimrod. And as several people already pointed, humanity now knows how to use science and tools to solve problems that would have caused natural selection and evolution. On a side note, this method is also way faster and more reliable than evolution.

old comment by Maronan

The way that evolution was taught to me in school was that over millions of years man evolved from amoeba, then become monkey, then became man.

In that case, either: 1. You had a really bad teacher. 2. You didn't pay attention in school. 3. Your mother kept you out of class those days. 4. Your school didn't teach evolution and your "teacher" was a fraud like Hovind who deliberately fed you a contorted straw man.

That clearly goes against the Biblical teachings that God created man in His image in one 24 hour day.

So? Evolution contradicts most ancient creation myths.

It teaches that man sinned...

Your creation myth teaches that, you mean. In the real world, there's no such thing as "sin;" a "sin" is an action or thought which pisses off a god and there are no gods in the real world.

then knew he was naked...

...and God kicked him and Eve out of the garden in a fit of anger because now he had nothing to beat off to?

...and God made the first clothes in the whole word for him.

No, according to the Bible, Adam and Eve made their own clothes and God found them that way. It's bad enough that you deny reality and believe your holy book, but it's even worse that you don't even know what your holy book says.

The Bible teaches that God created man in his image...

So God is a biological animal with a dick, an asshole, a few useless organs, and a tendency to get backaches and knee problems because he tries to walk upright with a poorly-rebuilt quadruped's body?

...with intelligence.

Intelligence, maybe, but the Bible says that knowledge is a bad thing. In fact, it says that Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden, punished, and had their children punished for learning.

The way that evolution teaches is that our intelligence was evolved over time.

Yes. Most people who have graduated from preschool realize that not everything is instantaneous.

That does not compute together.

Yes, modern science contradicts an ancient myth.

If evolutionists are saying that there can be a God, which God are they referring to, surely not the God of the Bible.

There is no such thing as an "evolutionist." Evolution doesn't say anything about gods. Some people who accept evolution do believe in gods. It is possible to accept evolution and believe in one or more gods, but you can't believe in the god of the Bible unless you can rationalize away the contradictions.

If evolution is true where is the evidence?

I'm not going to do your research for you, and I'm not a scientist, but here is my standard ready package of evidence.

Where are the half man half apes stuck in the evolution process?

It would appear that you don't know what evolution means. Humans are not descended from any apes that are alive today, although we share a common ancestor. A more major mistake that you seem to be making is that evolution is teleological. You imply that apes "should" evolve into humans, as if humans were better or closer to the ultimate "purpose" of evolution. This is a mistake. Evolution is pretty much random it's not going to produce just anything, but there is no way to specifically predict what will evolve next, especially since the environment changes. The environment in which a population lives can change faster than the rate of evolution, and slow long-term change is hard to predict as well, so there's no way to determine what will evolve in the future. Looking at the evolution of humans and expecting another animal to evolve into humans is like looking at a billion digits created by a random number generator and expecting those exact digits to appear in sequence again. Evolution continues without pause, but the odds are unnoticeably small that a newly-evolved species will be identical to an existing species. If you leave the random number generator on, you'll get a new sequence of digits, but it probably won't be the same sequence of digits.

How come monkeys are not still evolving say 10 a day into man?

ARRGH! EVOLUTION DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. Goodnight. This is pathetic. You're demanding evidence for a straw man of evolution and declaring that we should put creationism in schools if no one can supply it! It's a compound straw man and false dichotomy argument! I mean, really. You think that evolution means that individual animals will magically shapeshift from one species to another according to a predetermined teleological plan. I think there's truth to that quote someone posted: "Fundies think that evolution means seeing a donkey turn into an octopus in about four hours in your backyard." OK, here's a brief summary of the basics: Individuals do not evolve. Populations do. Evolution is not a teleological process, so there is no end goal to which some species are closer than others. Living things have DNA which is (in very simplified terms) a blueprint that determines how your body is built. Each cell in your body has a copy of your DNA. When you have kids, you give half of your DNA to your kid, and the other parent gives the other half. In order to do this, the DNA has to be copied. DNA is not copied perfectly because nothing in this world is perfect. This means that different individuals have different "mistakes" in their DNA. Sometimes these mistakes are bad. Sometimes they're good. Mostly, they're neutral. If they're bad, that individual will die quickly and have fewer children to pass the "mistake" on to. That mutation will die out. If it's good, that individual will be more likely to survive, have more children, and that mutation will spread. If successful enough, it will spread throughout the population. If a species is seperated into two geographically isolated groups, then each one will build up more and more unique neutral mutations. Since the two populations are geographically prevented from reproducing with each other, there is nothing to prevent neutral mutations in one group from preventing cross-breeding with members of the other group. If they remain isolated long enough, they will be unable to interbreed when the two groups meet again, or will be able to produce only sterile offspring. If the environment one group lives in changes, then certain features will become "good" for that group, but may not appear in the other group. A long time ago, there was a species of apelike creatures which are now extinct. Two groups of that species got seperated. One built up more and more neutral mutations, and their appearence changed as a result. When fruit became scarce, individuals with longer arms and better climbing abilities became more likely to survive due to greater ability to reach fruit. Because they lived longer, they had more children and the longer arm trait became more common. Eventually, they came to look like modern-day chimps. The other group suffered an even worse scarceity of fruit. There just wasn't enough for anyone to live on, because the trees were dying. In order to survive, they had to eat meat. Most predators are big and strong enough to catch prey, but they were too small and weak to catch anyone. They could always try to get by as scavengers, but some were more intelligent than others. The smarter ones figured out how to make tools and weapons, like spears with which to catch prey. The smarter ones with tools got more food, and thus survived longer, and this had more children. Once they had switched to a meat-eating tool-using lifestyle, a bipedal body became a beneficial trait since it left two hands free for tools and weapons. With fire and clothing made from skins, fur was no longer necessary, and a hairless body was easier to keep clean. Eventually, they became humans. I'm not biologist, so don't assume this was a literal description of human evolution. It's just an example to help you understand the basic idea.

How come man is not still evolving into a flying being?

Q.E.D. Remember, TYT, evolution says that we will all have random mutations, and mutations that lead to increased reproductive success will become more common. It doesn't say that we will develop any trait that we wish we had, or even that we will develop a trait that would be beneficial to survival and/or sex appeal. (Many frusterated men can tell you that.) It would take an absurdly large number of specific mutations for a human to develop wings, and functional wings would require a complete overhaul of our body; we're not really built for flying. The picture also helps to illustrate another point: We already can fly due to machines developed through intelligence, a trait we already have. There is no way that natural flight could be a beneficial trait when everyone can do it with a little help. It might increase sex appeal, though...

How come we stopped evolving?

We didn't. We're evolving right now. You just can't observe it. In a human's lifetime, (s)he will observe his/her own generation, the generation before, and the generation after. Assuming a relatively long lifespan, (s)he will also see one (or, being charitable, two) more generations before and after his/her own. The amount of evolution within seven generations is minimal. In order to actually observe evolution in action, you would need to observe other species with a shorter lifespan so that you can see many generations. Biologists have observed evolution in bacteria, since they can divide every 15 minutes. Evolution has also been observed in flies and other insects, in snails, and in other short-lived species.

old comment by Acme Troll Services

Argh! A newsbot! Newsbots (and bots in general) are some of the worst things that have happened to us. I've worked up tremendous standing during my 35-year career as a troll, and now I'm being pushed aside as the task of spamming becomes automated. Newsbots, pornbots, and spambots may be futuristic, but they take jobs away from good hardworking trolls who then have no way to feed their families. We could handle the non-union trolls who used to post in these threads, but automated bots are a much greater threat we have to deal with. There is no way a decent hardworking unionized troll can ever work as hard or as cheaply as a bot.
Fortunately for us, bots cannot yet acheive the sophistication of a proper troll, so they can't replace us completely. Plus it's easier to block a bot than stop a proper troll. Hopefully I, along with my fellow trollish employees of the Acme corporation will be able to stonewall, insult, launch fallacious attacks, and generally spam and disrupt threads for many years to come.

old comment by Martin Wienerburger, God's Profit

There is plenty of evidence for evolution, TT, and there is no reason to stop believing in God because of evolution. I have no problem doing both. The only problem is when you insist that the Bible is literally true and the word of God. I see no reason to make that assumption. I don't think God is simple enough to be put in a set of books, and I personally think it's arrogant to assume you have God's word and to assume that you know what God wants and that you know all the details of his creation. I certainly don't see any clear reason to suppose that a specific group of ancient people knew God's word. There are many religions and each one claims to know what God wants but none of them have any more than their own word. I think all of the world's religions have their worth. They're all attempts by man to understand God and his creation but they're all attempts made by man so none of them are completely accurate. We can take something good from all of them but most importantly we must use science if we really hope to understand God's works. Science has taught us a lot about the world we're living in. Our minds are limited and fallible and we will make mistakes but if we hope to understand everything around us we need a way to correct our mistakes. If we simply have faith that we have God's word then we'll never get anywhere because our own minds are fallible and our faith that we have God's word may be one of our mistakes. The only alternative to science would be to pray that God gives us the answers and I don't think God is going to come down here to lead us through everything by the hand. God is our creator but not our babysitter. He created us with the ability to learn through science and correct our mistakes so we wouldn't need him for everything. I think it's extremely arrogant to assume that God will come down and fulfill our desires just because we ask him to. After all, God is certainly not our servant.

“The way that evolution was taught to me in school was that over millions of years man evolved from amoeba,”
Billions. Billions of years. So, either you weren’t paying attention or you went to a creationist school.

"then become monkey, then became man.”
Good god pick a verb tense. Did you skip school entirely?

“That clearly goes against the Biblical teachings that God created man in His image in one 24 hour day.”
Yeah. Well, this is science, not superstition. Justifying the facts to your interpretation is your issue.

“ It teaches that man sinned, then new he was naked and God made the first clothes in the whole word for him.”
Knew. KNEW they were naked.
And they went and got leaves, so those were the first clothes, thank you very much.

"The Bible teaches that God created man in his image with intelligence.”
Just no ability to know right from wrong. They had to steal that.

“The way that evolution teaches is that our intelligence was evolved over time. That does not compute together.”
Um… Sorry?

“If evolutionists are saying that there can be a God, which God are they referring to, surely not the God of the Bible.”
There are theists that accept evolution, they just don’t take Genesis as a literal story, since the book is full of parables.

“If evolution is true where is the evidence?”
Any museum could help you with this…

“Where are the half man half apes stuck in the evolution process?”
Actually, YOU are entirely man, and entirely ape. And we are in the evolution process, so …. Found Them!

“How come monkeys are not still evolving say 10 a day into man?”
Because you touch yourself. That’s why they won’t evolve.
Seriously, they are evolving. ‘Evolution’ does NOT mean ‘turning into human beings. Your teacher failed to teach you evolution.

“How come man is not still evolving into a flying being? How come we stopped evolving?”
We didn’t stop evolving, but why would we fly? We invented planes. And gliders and helicopters and paragliders and rockets and jets and blimps and all sorts of STUFF to get into the sky without wings.

The way I learned it in 10th grade circa 96-97 was organisms adapt to survive and pass down genes that ensure survival. I guess MS. O knew her stuff, she told me she accepted evolution, her explanations even back then convinced me and were what scientific journals were saying about it.

Thank you Troops #fundie hannity.com

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