Suits #sexist

["Girl Quotes Translated to English"]

"I've only had sex with five guys."

Translation: I've had five boyfriends, who I regularly had sex with, but never anal and then were lucky to get their dicks sucked twice a month. I've also had sex once inside a bathroom stall at a club, but that doesn't count, because I was drunk and I've sucked the dick of eight other guys, but that's not sex and then there was the time I tried anal sex, but it only lasted for five seconds and after that I was pissed at the guy for sticking his dick in my ass, so I left immediately, so that doesn't count. I've had four guys eat me out on the first date and I sucked them off so that I wouldn't have to have sex with them, because I'm a good girl and I don't have sex on the first date. Then there are the three guys that I had sex with on the first date, but that doesn't count, because they said that they just needed to use my bathroom and then they ended up in my vagina, but that doesn't count, because it just happened and I never texted them again. I also had sex with two guys in high school, but it wasn't really sex, because they didn't know what they were doing and came in under a minute, so I didn't technically lose my virginity until I had sex with my first boyfriend in college, but not before I sucked another three different dicks during orientation week. But that doesn't count, because it was a crazy time in my life.



So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register. Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.