http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Trivia/FundiesSayTheDarndestThings
'The commenter Phillip-George(c)2013 is a conservative Christian who, much like His4Life, regularly posts to try to argue against the other, mostly liberal commenters. Unlike His4Life, who mostly makes statements of Christian faith, Phillip-George is more explicitly a devil's advocate, who tries to claim that the people quoted are correct.'
(*P-G goes into his closet, takes out of large manila envelope pocket tape recorder and file; places such on top of large collection of artwork by Tom of Finland. Starts tape recorder*):
'Good morning Mr. P-G. The Religious Reich are trying to eliminate Evolution from all educational establishments in the US, yet they are stopped by Exhibit A:' (*P-G takes out first document from file*):
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'The US Constitution. Via this, specifically a decision made in late 2005 by Exhibit B: one Judge John E. Jones III' (*P-G takes photo out of file, of John E. Jones III*) 'A landmark case that is now part of Constitutional law, which makes the teaching of [i]Creationism[/i] in all accredited educational establishments in the US proscribed: [i]illegal[/i]. Thus - via Constitutional Law - Evolution has been proved to be fact, and Creation (and therefore Fundamentalist Christian doctrine & 'belief') is lies.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find a way to go back to before that day in late 2005, and do two things to persuade Judge Jones otherwise...:
1- Destroy the case of the Evolutionists as a whole by wheeling a cage into the courtroom...:
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...and making the deity known as 'The Abrahamic God' not only 'poof' a species previously unknown to science in said cage, but for said 'God' to appear in court as well, to perform said task.
2- Travel further back in time, and persuade one Michael Behe...:
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...not to make such a colossal copypasta howler as he did in this instance, as per Exhibit C: (*P-G takes out of file except of book "Of Pandas and People"*) so as to render the defence's entire case utterly nonexistent, along with their 'God', and therefore Biblical 'Creation'.
...but of course, just being able to travel back in time would require Science which the Religious Reich are so opposed to because it further destroys their 'Beliefs'. What a paradox. Pun may or may not be intended. And even Science has yet to make any headway into Temporal Displacement technology (but further research at CERN/Area 51 may open new fields in the future).
This tape - along with the entire argument that is religious 'faith' supposedly 'backed up' by it's basis, the Bible (and in this case, 'Genesis') - will self destruct in five seconds. Bad luck, P-G.
(*Tape stops. Smoke issues from machine. Then Closet, contents and P-G are annihilated in a huge explosion*)
[/"Mission: Impossible"] >:D
