Kent Hovind #fundie

Kent Hovind #fundie cseblogs.com

[Some of Satan's supposed reasons for wanting Kent in jail:]

1. You are in God’s family and therefore, you are my enemy. I asked for and received permission to do this to you to destroy your faith in God.

2. Thousands have been converted to Christ because of the simple way you expose evolution. I hate people like you who steal people from my kingdom!

3. Evolution has been my religion since the Garden of Eden. I want people to believe the lie that they are improving and can one day be a god. Your message destroys that, so I hate you and will stop you any way I can.

6. You were encouraging common people to start similar ministries to expose evolution and many were doing it. I don’t mind it as much when the super-intellectuals speak on creation because they use all the big words and complex proofs that only a few understand. But your method of making it simple is way too effective

7. Your “Questions and Answer Session” on Seminar #7 makes me angry because you explain the King James issue clearly and cause people to doubt all my false Bibles. I have worked hard for 6,000 years to make people question or doubt or change God’s words and you are undoing my work. I hate you for this!

8. You have also dared to try to take dinosaurs away from me. I have used dinosaurs for nearly 200 years to teach billions of people that the earth is billions of years old and that God’s Word is not true. Your seminar on dinosaurs strikes at the heart of my kingdom. I intend to destroy both your ministry and your reputation for good. Dinosaurs are especially effective for me to deceive children. You are taking children away from me, so I took yours away from you!

59 comments

old comment by Anonymous

Uh huh Kent, and are the reasons why Uncle Sam wants you in jail:

1. In general, employers must withhold, deposit, report, and pay federal income tax as well as Social Security and Medicare taxes from employee wages. The amount of federal income tax withheld is based on an employee’s martial status and the withholding allowances as reported by the employee to the employer on the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) Form W-4. Federal Insurance Contributions Act (FICA) taxes provide a federal system of old age, survivors, disability, (Social Security tax) and hospital insurance (Medicare tax). Employers are required to withhold FICA taxes from employee’s wages and pay a matching amount of these taxes. During the times relevant to this indictment, the employee tax rate for Social Security was 6.2% of the employees’ gross wages which was withheld from the employees’ wages, and the employer tax rate was also 6.2% (12.4% total). The employee tax rate for Medicare was 1.45% of the employees’ gross wages, which was withheld form the employees’ wages and the employer tax rate for Medicare was also 1.45% (2.9% total). Employers were required to deposit federal income tax withheld along with FICA taxes by submitting quarterly payments to the IRS. Each quarter, all employers who paid wages subject to federal income tax withholding and FICA taxes were required to file Form 941, Employer’s Quarterly Federal Tax Return, by the last day of the month that follows the end of the quarter. This return reported the among of federal income tax and FICA tax withheld from employee wages as well as the employer’s share of FICA tax due and owing.

2. KENT E. HOVIND owned and operated “Creation Science Evangelism Enterprises/Ministry” (“CSE”), located in Pensacola, Florida. As part of CSE, KENT E. HOVIND operated “Dinosaur Adventure Land,” a children’s theme park on 5800 North Palafox Street in Pensacola, Florida which includes rides, a museum and science center. In addition KENT E. HOVIND, through CSE sold literature, videos, CDs, and other materials, and provided lecture services and live debates for a fee.

3. KENT E. HOVIND employed or caused to be employed salaried and hourly-wage workers at CSE and the various related business entities he controlled (hereafter referenced collectively as “CSE”).

4. As the owner/operator of CSE and its related entities, KENT E. HOVIND was responsible for the preparation of employee wages and withholding of federal income tax and FICA tax from employees’ bi-weekly paychecks. KENT E. HOVIND was likewise responsible for paying federal income tax and FICA tax withheld to the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) and filing the appropriate IRS Forms 941, Employer’s Quarterly Tax Returns, for SE, reporting amounts withheld and the employer’s share of the FICA tax to the IRS.

5. KENT E. HOVIND failed to obtain W-4 information from CSE employees and failed to withhold taxes from employee wages.

6. KENT E. HOVIND failed to file IRS Forms 941, Employer’s Quarterly Tax Returns, reporting federal income tax FICA tax from employee wages to the IRS.

7. When employers failed to withhold taxes from employee wages, the IRS calculated the income tax withholding rate, and thus income taxes due and owing at 20%.

old comment by Brian X

Hm, this is likely to be less fun than his "God" post...

"[Some of Satan's supposed reasons for wanting Kent in jail:]

1. You are in God’s family and therefore, you are my enemy. I asked for and received permission to do this to you to destroy your faith in God.

The story of Job does not present the Satan you think of as Satan, sorry. And you're no Job anyway.

2. Thousands have been converted to Christ because of the simple way you expose evolution. I hate people like you who steal people from my kingdom!

Sadly, the first sentence is probably true. Fundamentalist Christianity has probably destroyed a great many potentially great minds by redirecting their thought processes to intellectual masturbation.

3. Evolution has been my religion since the Garden of Eden. I want people to believe the lie that they are improving and can one day be a god. Your message destroys that, so I hate you and will stop you any way I can.

Evolution is not a religion. Some people do believe that humanity can eventually become Gods, but that's a rather fringe position, closer to New Age than rationalist-humanist. You may have been taking Babylon 5 a little too seriously...

6. You were encouraging common people to start similar ministries to expose evolution and many were doing it. I don’t mind it as much when the super-intellectuals speak on creation because they use all the big words and complex proofs that only a few understand. But your method of making it simple is way too effective

Wooooooo, big words and complex proofs. Occam's razor comes at the end of an argument, not the beginning, you dumbass.

7. Your “Questions and Answer Session” on Seminar #7 makes me angry because you explain the King James issue clearly and cause people to doubt all my false Bibles. I have worked hard for 6,000 years to make people question or doubt or change God’s words and you are undoing my work. I hate you for this!

KJV-onlyism. Not even worth dignifying with a response.

8. You have also dared to try to take dinosaurs away from me. I have used dinosaurs for nearly 200 years to teach billions of people that the earth is billions of years old and that God’s Word is not true. Your seminar on dinosaurs strikes at the heart of my kingdom. I intend to destroy both your ministry and your reputation for good. Dinosaurs are especially effective for me to deceive children. You are taking children away from me, so I took yours away from you!"

Yeah, Kent's real on board with the dinos. How about the people who actually understand dinosaurs? They tend not to agree.

In conclusion, Satan actually did humanity a solid by leading Adam and Eve to the apple. God -- at least the fundy God -- would rather have sheep.

old comment by Anon-e-moose

@Kent Hovind

*YAWN* tl;dr. Now, don't forget to keep dropping the soap, Kentypoos!

@He Who Must Not Be Named

The only gap you're restoring is the one between God's arsecheeks. Just as Kent is widening the circle of his friends in prison - and his friends in prison are widening HIS circle, if you catch my drift. T**y, with every passing year, gaps are being filled. There's less & less mysteries about us, the world around us and the universe we're in. Your so-called 'God' is becoming more & more an irrelevance. After all, how many people today worship Amun-Ra? Zeus? That's what gap-filling does. And soon, your 'God of the Bible' (currently hanging by his last few fingernails from the platform of Human Importance; where he was once in the centre) will be plunged into the Abyss of Irrelevance, to join all the other mythological deities of yore.