The desire to hurt and be hurt, along with the desire to dominate and be dominated, runs deep within human nature. We were created by God to find pleasure in total submission to Him, and since submission is only possible where there is a difference in wills, God then designed us with an intense desire to dominate. Throw God out of the picture and these two intensely strong desires start looking for other targets that they can feast on. Other humans stand out as very tantalizing subjects, and soon we’re grouping up in partnerships in which BDSM “play” is engaged in.
So what exactly is BDSM? The broadest definition of the acronym attempts to combine the concepts of bondage/domination (B/D) with dominance/submission (D/S) and finally sadism/masochism (S/M). The basic goal is to enhance the experience of sexual arousal by introducing the elements of physical abuse, emotional degradation, and sexual abuse. Fans of BDSM look down on normal or “vanilla” sex as being dull and unsatisfying, thus they say, “Hey, here’s an idea: let’s torture and rape each other.” And because there are two consenting adults involved (at least everyone’s consenting when the games first begin), they don’t use words like torture, assault, and abuse, even though they’re engaging in the same kinds of activities. Online there are whole arsenals of torture devices which are being sold under the label of “sex toys.” The draw of these things is that they make it easier to really hurt each other. Whips, blindfolds, collars, chains, spanking paddlesit’s all good fun, right? It’s a cinch to find special devices that are designed to inflict pain on the most sensitive areas of the body (bring on those nipple pinchers, and genital whips). And if anyone tries to use the term “perverse” about such activities, the BDSM community gets all up in arms about being discriminated against.
So why is BDSM bad? It’s a very real thing to get sexually aroused by beating someone until they’re bleeding and crying. And as long as your victim cheerfully signed on to “play”, what’s the problem? Well, the problem is that mutual consent doesn’t define right and wrong, God does, and He says that this whole BDSM package is very wrong. Try to blow off the limitations God has set on you, and He responds with some creative forms of discipline. For example, God has set limits on how much heat your soft tissues can withstand without becoming damaged. You can try to ignore those limits by sticking your hand in a fire or touching that hot stove burner. Rather than take away your option to disrespect His rules, God lets you rebel to your heart’s contentbut He also makes sure you get burned in the process. Keep sticking your hand in that fire, and you’re going to end up with severe injuries and eventually a loss of functionality.
The same principle is at work with BDSM. God is totally against the entire “degrade and be degraded” package. You can choose not to respect this, but you can’t change the fact that God has set limits on you which you cannot push past without injuring yourself. BDSM is going to mess you up on deep levels. It will cripple your ability to form healthy relationships, it will warp your view of people as well as yourself, and it will cause you to drift way off course spiritually. You see, you can’t go against God’s rules without getting burned. There’s just no way to sneak around a Creator who rules with absolute Authority while carefully coordinating every detail of your personal life.
So what exactly is God’s problem with BDSM? God is certainly into submission, and He’s a very dominating Guy. So what’s wrong with us having a lark with these themes? Well the problem is that when we play our BDSM games, we’re focusing on the wrong targets.