Noah Gulliver #sexist everyjoe.com

9 Reasons Why a Man Should Never Go Down on a Woman

In today’s society, men have to deal with many unwritten expectations when in a relationship with a woman. One such expectation is to perform cunnilingus on the woman’s whim. However, I’m here to tell you that mindset is a mistake. In fact, men should never perform oral sex.

After you pick your jaws off the ground, hear me out; I realize this goes against everything you’ve heard — but once you review all the evidence, I guarantee you will agree with me.

Ready for you mind to be blown? Here is why a man must avoid cunnilingus at all costs — click “Next” to see all nine reasons:

[First four points are about possible infections]

5. Other Men's Matter Remains in the Vagina Indefinitely

When a man has sex with a woman, his biological material stays within a woman's vagina -- even if a condom is used. While the vagina is self-cleaning, the process to completely cleanse can take months. Do you really want another man's biological material in your mouth? And even if you think you're in a committed relationship, by the time you find out your woman is cheating on you, it'll be too late.

6. The Vagina is Desensitized to Penis Centric Sex

Even if you're a master swordsman, your penis can't compete with your tongue in terms of creating clitoral stimulation. Why? The amount of stimulation cunnilingus provides is unnatural. Think about it: If the clitoris was meant to receive that much direct stimulation, Mother Nature would have placed it within the vaginal walls instead of on the periphery.

7. Women Will Fall in Love for a Fleeting Reason

A recent study points to the fact that men feel the need to perform oral sex on a woman in an attempt to keep the woman from straying. And while this strategy may be successful in the short-term, it will ultimately end up being a failure. If a woman falls in love with your tongue, it's only a matter of time before she falls out of love with you. Thus, it's better to find a female who loves you for a sustainable reason -- such as your mind or your penis.

8. Dominance in the Relationship Will Be Lost

A successful relationship between a man and a woman features the man in the dominant role. That dominance is lost the moment a male gets on his knees to bow before his female and perform oral sex.

9. Cunnilingus is a Gateway Drug to Lesbianism

Even if a male reaches the peak of his ability at the art of cunnilingus, he can't compete with the intimate knowledge a female mind provides when engaging in this activity. Thus, if a woman truly loves oral sex, she will eventually find herself in the arms of a lesbian. Think of cunnilingus as being comparable to marijuana and lesbianism being comparable to hardcore drugs such as heroin and crack. This gateway is best to be avoided.

I hope you men join me in abstaining from cunnilingus. Together we can make a difference and put an end to this unhygienic, emasculating practice.

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Confused?

So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

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