Is my dog Satanic?
I haven't posted in a while, and I know this is going to sound crazy, but...
I've had my dog for about a year now, and she has destroyed two books several months apart. Both of them happen to be Bibles. I have dozens of other books my dog could have decided to destroy, but she only chose the Bibles. Is this just a coincidence, or could there be some kind of demonic influence?
71 comments
Yes. For a small charge I can come there and exorcise this demon*.
Um...aren't most Bibles leather-bound? Even that bonded leather on cheaper Bibles might appeal to dogs. I guess it's just simpler to get the dog exorcised, though.
@ Amanda: I do! All for sentimental reasons! One is my late father's, one I won as a little girl in Sunday School, and one was a high school graduation gift. All are leather-bound, too.
You have a smart dog. Give it treats.
"I have dozens of other books my dog could have decided to destroy"
Lying for Jesus for that bit.
Attention all other DMCers, abort operation, I repeat, abort operation, we don't want to lose any dogs here, we're not that cruel!
It destroyed the book because it can smell the crazy roiling off you whenever you read it.
Or maybe they're like how a cat steps all over you when you're reading, wanting you to pay attention to them instead of that thing you've always got in your face.
Play with your dog more and put the babble down.
A dog, if she's bored and needs exercise, likes to grab stuff and play "keep away". So she'll go after any book (sock, TV remote, etc.) you leave lying around where she can get at it. The more you value it, the more she'll want to take it so you'll chase her for it.
Try playing with your dog, taking her for long walks and giving her hard exercise at least three or four days a week. I have a Chesapeake, and trust me, with an athletic hunting breed, it's not optional unless I want a hyperactive maniac on my hands.
Let's take a good look at this one. Cre8ivmind sees two possiblities here. One, the dog chewing up the Bibles is pure coincidence. Two, the dark forces of the netherworld have bodily posessed cre8ivmind's beloved pet and compelled is to chew up the Bibles several months apart and for no apparent purpose. Cre8ivemind is willing to seriously consider the latter option.
There is something wrong with this person. Something seriously wrong.
Maybe if you had some other books in the house; rather than 400 copies of the Bible; then your dog wouldn't only destroy bibles? Of course, it's entirely possible that your dog COULD be a satanic demon, ala "The Omen", in which case, I hope it eats you.
Oh my god. This is so fucking easy, it's not even fair. Your dog ate your bibles because she is, at least, equipped with basic intelligence and realizes they're bullshit.
@ Amanda:
I'm an agnostic leaning towards atheism... and I own four Bibles and two Qur'ans, not to mention three compilations of apocryphal and gnostic texts.
You don't need to believe in UFOs to be interested in the influence belief in UFOs has on people and society in general.
When I assume it makes an ass out of me and, well...me. :-) Sorry about that. I do have a bible, and I enjoy reading it as a work of fiction and a book of ancient folklore, but I don't put any actual historical significance to it.
Oh no, please don't hurt the poor dog...
You know, it's more likely she's just, y'know, a dog... They do that sort of thing... Maybe that's her way of showing interest in the Bible... Maybe she finds it tasty in a holy sort of way...
Please, don't hurt the dog :\ Oo Abandoning it is also bad for it; I'm actually not going to let myself think you'd do something more extreme. If I'm wrong, no-one ever tell me. Ever. At all. Oh dear...
Everyone knows that Satan has a dog.
Cats, of course, have God.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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