Daily on campus, students try to legitimize their addiction to alcohol by saying “well, Jesus turned the water to wine.” Their Jesus is a hippie longhair bartender that is all too willing to feed their illicit lust for mind numbing intoxicants. They conclude, since Jesus turned water to wine, now it’s o.k. for us to go to our fraternity keg party AND GET WASTED!
Yes, many of the early American immigrants drank a lot of hooch. If they were practicing drunkenness, they were not saved and did not go to heaven!
33 comments
Daily on campus, students try to legitimize their addiction to alcohol by saying “well, Jesus turned the water to wine.”
I don't know many fundie party animals.
Yes, many of the early American immigrants drank a lot of hooch. If they were practicing drunkenness, they were not saved and did not go to heaven!
You don't know that. Your own dumbass theology says you don't need to stop sinning to go to Heaven. All you need to do is accept Jeebus.
If they were practicing drunkenness, they were not saved and did not go to heaven!
What happened to sola fide ? I guess fundies only bring that up when they want to accuse Catholics of not being Christians because they believe works are necessary for salvation.
I see a lot of alleged observations here, and I see some kind of conclusion at the end, but it rather appears that you forgot to join them up with some kind of logical progression. Try harder next time.
Mister Spak; There's also the fact that it was rather apparent at the wedding feast in Cana that everyone was drinking, and many were likely drunk at the time, and Jesus said nothing of it. He actually gave the guests more wine to drink.
okay, let's see how many stereotypical "hippie" traits your jesus possesses:
long hair--check
wears sandals--check
radical new messages of love and acceptance--check
believes that all people are equal in the eyes of god--check
believes that all people are equal, period--check
against violence and hate--check
face it, fundies. if your jesus was alive today, he'd be protesting wars, advocating gun control, and singing "give peace a chance." you'd call him a filthy hippie and want him jailed.
Per capita consumption of booze in the Colonial era was prodicgious. Truly awesome. Here's to them! <gulp>
As to CampusPreacher, he's just another hypocritical fundy who doubtless approves of "Judge not ..." when he's not busy judging.
Good Lord, he's right. These liberal hippies just think that Jeezuz is all about drinking alcohol. Rubbish, I say! Rubbish!
Excuse me, I have to go to Communion now.
A glass or two is medicine for the soul.
An anti-drinker is a bigger pain in the ass than an alcoholic.
Yeah, my personal Christ is a flower child. What are you going to do about it?
"My child, there is a time for pennance and a time for partridge."
--Teresa of Avila
I think CampusPreacher needs to take a page from her book.
In my college days, the alcoholic beverage of choice was beer. And I never read anywhere that Jesus turned water into beer. Occasionally, we had gin. Wine, not so much.
Jesus probably had a buzz on most of the time. Before modern sanitation, the water was full of typhoid, cholera, amoebic dysentary. You pretty much drank wine or shit yourself to death.
Just sayin'
This country has been founded on drunk beliefs, by drunk people. And if you are against drunkness, if you want to take back the booze out of our schools, our courts, our institutions, or our government, then you're being unAmerican, and you can go drink tea with your friends muslim terrorists.
All praise the booze !
What's funny with fundie argument is that they can be bent to serve any purpose.
"Daily on campus, students try to legitimize their addiction to alcohol by saying “well, Jesus turned the water to wine.” Their Jesus is a hippie longhair bartender that is all too willing to feed their illicit lust for mind numbing intoxicants. They conclude, since Jesus turned water to wine, now it’s o.k. for us to go to our fraternity keg party AND GET WASTED!
Yes, many of the early American immigrants drank a lot of hooch. If they were practicing drunkenness, they were not saved and did not go to heaven!"
1 Timothy 5:23: 'Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities.'
image
Lumiere: 'I know I always say "Onna no honto ereganto ni" ('A lady should always be Elegant'), but in this case I must say "An interfering cuntbrain fundie should always keep their nose out of other people's personal business that doesn't fucking concern them. "
...if you'll pardon my French.'
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.