Earlier today I recieved a most disturbing telephone call from my great grandson. He recalled to me the start of his public summer school courses. He told me of his science class teaching about evolution and natural selection. Like any good Christian, I was uphauled! How dare they instill the lunatic notions from a man who has been under growing suspicion of being the secret founder of modern Satanism! Some here may know of the damned soul by the name of Anton LaVey who went public with Satanism in the 1960's, however, it all began in secrecy in the 19th Century by Charles Darwin!!! YES! IT'S TRUE!!!!! It quickly and oh so quietly spread throughout the globe from secret encoded Satanic texts that could only be read under the influenc of demons and unclean spirits. Than one man decided to adopt the teachings as his own and went public. One of the primary things LaVey excluded from his wretched Satanic Bible was evolution! He did not want Darwin's most prevalent work of lunacy to be made known as a Satanic teaching, because it would hurt it's public acceptance!
What I am telling you all is true! Please, I beg of you, do not inquire of the source of this information. By me doing so, I will be in great danger!
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"Earlier today I recieved a most disturbing telephone call from my great grandson. He recalled to me the start of his public summer school courses. He told me of his science class teaching about evolution and natural selection. Like any good Christian, I was uphauled!OH NOES!
How dare they instill the lunatic notions from a man who has been under growing suspicion of being the secret founder of modern Satanism!
It's a conspiracy!
Some here may know of the damned soul by the name of Anton LaVey who went public with Satanism in the 1960's, however, it all began in secrecy in the 19th Century by Charles Darwin!!! YES! IT'S TRUE!!!!!
Not true. At all.
It quickly and oh so quietly spread throughout the globe from secret encoded Satanic texts that could only be read under the influenc of demons and unclean spirits. Than one man decided to adopt the teachings as his own and went public. One of the primary things LaVey excluded from his wretched Satanic Bible was evolution!
'Cause science is teh devil!
He did not want Darwin's most prevalent work of lunacy to be made known as a Satanic teaching, because it would hurt it's public acceptance! What I am telling you all is true! Please, I beg of you, do not inquire of the source of this information. By me doing so, I will be in great danger! "
Quick the white coats are coming to get you aeolin!
Or, you know, Charles Darwin was a very religious man who was reluctant to publish his book because of its theological implications, and it had nothing to do with satanism at all.
"Like any good Christian, I was uphauled!"
I'm "Uphauled" at her complete detachment from reality!
"By me doing so, I will be in great danger!"your interlocutor asking you something, so you "doing so" is a reference to nothing.
Third, you meant revealing your sources? Because why would you be in more danger by revealing your source than by "exposing the truth"?
image What I am telling you all is true! Please, I beg of you, do not inquire of the source of this information. By me doing so, I will be in great danger!
...of being exposed as a tremendous liar.
Do your great grandson a favor and stay far, far away from him.
Le Vey's books are a joke. I have read lots of 1920's-40's Weird Horror fiction. I have also read and own the Satanic Bible and the Satanic Rituals. Both volumes contain verbatim plagiarized portions from Lovecraft, Howard, Machen, Derelith and more. Both books are ridiculously uncreative and pathetic. I have debated for years whether or not to write a Necronomicon just to show these idiots what a cursed book really looks like.
Earlier today I recieved a most disturbing telephone call from my great grandson. He recalled to me the start of his public summer school courses. He told me of his science class teaching about evolution and natural selection. Some here may know of the damned soul by the name of Anton LaVey who went public with Satanism in the 1960's, however, it all began in secrecy in the 19th Century by Charles Darwin!!!
Slander, I say!
I beg of you, do not inquire of the source of this information. By me doing so, I will be in great danger!
Too late, they've come to take you away...
image
"Like any good Christian, I was uphauled!"
"What I am telling you all is true! Please, I beg of you, do not inquire of the source of this information. By me doing so, I will be in great danger!"
This could only work on theists.
. . . does saying that make me a bad person? ;)
I'm not sure what being uphauled means but it certainly sounds painful.
Otherwise, this is hysterical.
uphauled
You know, I actually kind of like this guy's interpretation of the word. That said, seriously, buy a dictionary.
"How dare they instill the lunatic notions from a man who has been under growing suspicion of being the secret founder of modern Satanism! Some here may know of the damned soul by the name of Anton LaVey who went public with Satanism in the 1960's, however, it all began in secrecy in the 19th Century by Charles Darwin!!! YES! IT'S TRUE!!!!!"
So, Anton LaVey - in the 20th Century - was responsible for this, in the very Christian & Protestant Church of England's Westminster Abbey...:
image
...and extremely publicly too, in the 19th Century?
Either (check one):
[ ] LaVey as he was a Gallifreyan - but not evil enough to be The Master; but on the other hand if he is The Doctor, why would he kill his master Satan by throwing him off a spaceship & into a black hole, thus destroying Evil itself, no less? [/11-dimensional paradox] - had a TARDIS to be able to do so.
[ ] You're talking out of your arse, like the inferior subhuman mentally handicapped uneducated & ignorant retard fundie you are, Aeolin.
Choose wisely.
Gramps/grandma seems to be moving into senility, poor dear.
You mean that like any bat-shit insane creationist, you were appalled, right? How dare they teach your brainwashing recipient about reality?!?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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