IF I WERE SATAN...
Of course, I would NOT want people to believe in God, but I especially would NOT want anyone to be "saved." So, if folks tended to believe in God for some silly reason (maybe because they actually believed the Bible), I would figure out a scheme to convince people that there is no God. Possibly some concept that says the universe and the earth and the people on the earth just came about by accident. I could say that man slowly evolved over millions of years and I'd call it "Evolution."
I would try to get the educational systems of the whole world to teach this brilliant theory of mine to the young folks as FACT so they would accept it without question. They would, of course, then presume that since there is no God, there is no higher authority to which to answer and no real reason to behave in some socially acceptable way. That evolution idea would claim they came from monkeys, so they could begin to act like monkies!
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See, if I were Satan I would probably steal all the world's gold. That way I could melt it all down and make a giant statue of myself, 'cause hey, who doesn't want a giant, golden statue of themselves? Then I'd probably spend the rest of eternity making the damned dance for my amuesment. Nothing better than a performance of Les Miseralbes put on by the world-weary remains of those that wasted their lives. After that, there'd really be nothing left to do...
If I were God:
If I were God, Satan would have been stomped flat a long time ago.
<<since there is no God, there is no higher authority to which to answer and no real reason to behave in some socially acceptable way>>socially acceptable" if it totally depends on being prescribed by a God, I wonder??
I suspect that if you would ask Jim, he would say that he actually understands why, lets say, murder is not socially acceptable. Making his point moot.
if I was satan, i'd trick people by making them believe in a book, that is many thousands of years old, that makes a total mockery of how the universe works, and make these people devote their entire lives to it!
Posting on the "Sean Hannity Discussion Forum" explains much of your misguided inanity.
If I were Satan, people would be RUSHING to get damned just to join the party I'd throw! I mean really, I'm sure Satan just needs a better PR department.
If *I* were Satan, I'd devise a series of tests of faith, to weed out the appallingly stupid, the appallingly judgemental, the appallingly sanctimonious, the appallingly lifeless and banal, the appallingly gullible.Holy Bible ".
I'd then let all the cool people come and live in "Hell" to rock for eternity!
If I were Satan I would promote rational thought, education, morality and scientific enquiry so everyone else could realise what a selfish, sociopathic, misogynistic, narcissistic, lying, amoral arsehole this so-called 'LORD' really is.
Satan likely wouldn't work in such blatant ways.
Oh hell, may as well join in the if i were discussion.
Damn, Anonymous thought of the same thing as me ;)
It's been said by others and it exemplifies my beliefs as well. If there was a real omnipotent, all-powerful, all-knowing, ever-loving God there would be no Satan.
If I were Satan, I'd definitely redecorate Hell. Fire, birmstone...so dated. A nice, light cotton candy pink might look nice. The trim would definitely have to be white, since lavender would look too garish. Although you could use the lavender as a border. I'm gonna need some color samples!
If I were Satan, I would write a book that professed to be the Word of Almighty and Benevolent God, and make sure that it gave explicit instructions on how to be "saved" and how to "avoid Satan" - because such a book would be guaranteed to have exactly the effect I wanted.
If your god is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent, why doesn't he stop this Satan for doing anything?
Is he willing, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
If I were Satan, I think I'd do everything I could to drive certain people mad. You know, divert funds for abstinence-only sex ed towards projects concerning renewable energy sources, trim a bit off the Koch mountain o' money and send it to organizations like Doctors Without Borders, and then point out that while I basically played Robin Hood, god himself sat back and did nothing to help people who really needed it.
That's what you would do if you were satan; you'd do it all backward.
Darwin, however, did it the right way around. He went out and gathered specimens and amassed FACTS, thousands and thousands of them. Since he was a religious man, he didn't set out to persuade anyone against god, BUT....the evidence was too overwhelming that the TofE was correct. Hardly anybody believes it "without question", but nowadays we do not only know it's true, we understand HOW it works in ways (DNA) not available to Darwin. And his thousands of pieces of evidence are now millions and millions, found by scientists around the globe.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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