Andy Schlafly #fundie

Andy Schlafly #fundie conservapedia.com

The second chapter of the Gospel of John describes the conversion of water into wine by Jesus at a wedding reception. Intuitively one would expect the conversion to occur before anyone tasted the drink. But under quantum mechanics, it is not until observation that matter acquires a definite state. John 2:9 describes this precisely as required by quantum mechanics, and the KJV misses this subtle issue of timing in the conversion.

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old comment by Anon-e-moose

"Intuitively one would expect the conversion to occur before anyone tasted the drink. But under quantum mechanics, it is not until observation that matter acquires a definite state."

You know as much about Quantum Mechanics as Prof. Stephen Hawking does about competing in the 100 Metres against Usain Bolt*, and winning.

"John 2:9 describes this precisely as required by quantum mechanics, and the KJV misses this subtle issue of timing in the conversion."

John 2:9 (NIV, 1984): "Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness."

And that's from the most recently adapted version (certainly one approved by the Plain English Campaign). And this titbit of Scripture relates to Quantum Mechanics, or even accelerated fermentation processes... how?

You may know bugger all about QM (or any aspect of Quantum Physics), but you're undoubtedly the master of the Non-sequitur, Andy Schaftafly.

*- Usain Bolt is employed by the scientists at CERN. He's the pacemaker for the Large Hadron Collider.

old comment by Tardis

John 2:7-9
7Jesus said to them, "Fill the waterpots with water." So they filled them up to the brim.

8And He said to them, "Draw some out now and take it to the [a]headwaiter." So they took it to him.

9When the headwaiter tasted the water (J)which had become wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the headwaiter called the bridegroom,

10and said to him, "Every man serves the good wine first, and when the people (K)have drunk freely, then he serves the poorer wine; but you have kept the good wine until now."

Yep...describes quantum mechanics to a "T" - Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if this passage wasn't the incentive for science to study quantum mechanics (Snicker snicker)

old comment by breakerslion

@ nutbunny

@ breakerslion:

He is Jesus.
He can do anything.
Chemistry means nothing when God decides to fuck around.

Yes, but starting with that premise opens up a larger can of worms.

1. Is the end product real wine or synthetic pseudowine?

2. If real, where did it come from?

3. If synthetic, why was it necessary to start with water? Where did all the other elements come from (Carbon, Nitrogen, Misc other trace)?

4. If real, why was it necessary to start with water? Was this some kind of "packrat" teleportation, and some poor slob wound up with several wine jars full of water? Stealing is not all that miraculous.

5. Why allow your minions to get close enough to fuck with it? A really impressive miracle would be, "Go pick up that empty wine jar," and hey presto! it's full again!

6. Why are there so many people in the 21st century that are as easily duped as iron-age ignorami?

Inquiring minds want to know!

old comment by Angua

Wow. I don't understand quantum mechanics at all and even I know that this is so absolutely, completely, and utterly wrong that it's practically approaching right from the other side,

I don't think that conscious observers actually causing the wave function to collapse is part of the standard interpretation of quantum mechanics for a start.

And, these events would occur on a quantum level wouldn't they? Schrodinger's Cat is a thought experiment. Things don't actually work like that on a macroscopic level because so many particles are involved and quantum mechanics deals with probabilities. The idea that so many molecules of water would spontaneously change into the ingredients for wine in the exact proportion necessary all at one time . . . I think that's rather improbable. I'd wager a guess that you'd have to wait longer than the universe has been in existence at least for something like that to become probable.

(At least, this is how I understand it . . . but I know that I'm not a physicist and I know that I don't understand quantum mechanics and therefore am not saying that anyone should take on board what I've written as true. Actually, if I've gotten something wrong, please correct me because I'd really hate to go around with a complete misunderstanding of the most basic ideas in quantum mechanics. I suppose that's the real difference between Andy and me (and most of the people here, probably) . . . I want to know when I'm wrong. I want to have the most accurate understanding of the world that I can. And I especially don not want to contribute to anyone else having a less accurate understanding of reality. )

old comment by Jt

Allow me to explain what I think happened in Andy's Mind when he typed that:

"Oh, hey! Jesus's Miracles! Everyone know about the water into wine! But how do I make those evil baby-eating atheists think that it's real? Hmm. Oh! How about some fancy thing I've heard about! Now, let's think. Let's say that nobody knew it was wine until they tasted it! That's uh, think, uh, big words, scientific, hmmoh! Quantum mechanics! Yes! I've got it! Now let's throw in some big word there so people will think I'm smart! let's see. "Observation" is scientific. So is "definite state". "Acquires" is a good verb! But how does that apply? Well, let's just throw out a bunch of big words! "Subtle, precisely, required, conversion!" Those work! None of my followers are gonna know the meanings of those words, and it'll make me look smart to those demonic atheists! I can't fail!"

Andy Schlafly #fundie conservapedia.com

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