I have actually had demons grab my Bible from me and tear Romans 8 and the book of Psalms out of my Bible.
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Those demons must've had very little to do. I mean, between spreading homosexuality, teaching evolution, distributing copies of An Inconvenient Truth... where does a demon find the time?
I know, I know, You're thinking; Everybody's a critic, right?
Mom did the same thing to my Playboy magazines.
Did they grab the Bible out of your hands or just away from your general area? The reason I ask is because I find it hard to believe that you can hold a bible in your hands with that straight jacket wrapped around you. So, if you're trying to claim that they did that your story would be REALLY unbelievable.
Then why is it that I can't help thinking that what really happened was you dropped the book, and the pages tore when you tried to catch it? I've managed to tear those flimsy pages just by turning them. Either that, or you're just lying through your teeth.
Yeah, demons also make the pages of my Hustler magazine stick together sometimes.
I have this great scene in my head. Mortsmune, cowering in a corner, clutching his bible with trembling fingers against his bosom. The demons, threatened by Romans 8 and Psalms, tear it away from him. "No! No demons! Not Romans 8!" Mortsmune cries. But to no avail.
The sad thing about sites like that is that some dickheads will actually believe this crap.
At least, if I tell (normal) people that I simultaneously had sex with Angelina Jolie and Kate Beckinsale last night they will all know that I'm bullshitting them. Yet the latter scenario remains infinitely more plausible than yours.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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