[To potential da Vinci code fans]
I DONT CARE WHAT YOU PEOPLE THINK OF ME I KNOW WHERE IM NOT GOING AND THATS HELL!!....A PIT OF FIRE BURN IN HELL FOR ETERNITY!!....THATS NOT WHAT I WANT!!....I AM GOING TO HEAVEN SO PLEASE IM BEGGING ALL OF YOU THAT DONT BELIEVE IN JESUS PLEASE BECOME A CHRISTIAN...YOU WILL BE MUCH HAPPIER WHEN YOU HAVE THE LORD TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE!!!!.....SO PLEASE HEAR MY CRY.....HELL IS NOT A PLACE THAT YOU WANT TO GO TO!!!!
36 comments
Prayer of the fundamentalist:
Please Jesus, take absolute control of my life so that I need never think my own thoughts again, so I need never ask questions, and I need never take responsibility for anything in my life. Thank you Jesus for making me a meat puppet on your holy strings.
<<YOU WILL BE MUCH HAPPIER WHEN YOU HAVE THE LORD TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE!!!>>
Yeah, it sounds like it. I won't be able to go see movies, have sex, and I'll get to be reminded each week how I'm going to Hell for tying my shoes wrong. Sounds happy!
Is it just me, or are these hyper-religious people the only ones who seem concerned that anyone might believe The Da Vinci Code to be true? I mean, honestly. Do they not understand the concept of fiction? You'd think they would, what with so much of the Bible being non-literal.
"I DONT CARE WHAT YOU PEOPLE THINK OF ME"
I think that's probably a good approach as I'm sure none of us are thinking anything particularly nice of you.
"I KNOW WHERE IM NOT GOING AND THATS HELL!!."
Apparently, for this person it is hell to not kinow where he is going.
"A PIT OF FIRE BURN IN HELL FOR ETERNITY!!"
Doesn't the bible say it's a "lake" of fire?
"THATS NOT WHAT I WANT!!"
Thanks for the info. I was sure that lots and lots of people would really want that burning for eternity option.
"I AM GOING TO HEAVEN"
Prove it.
"SO PLEASE IM BEGGING ALL OF YOU THAT DONT BELIEVE IN JESUS PLEASE BECOME A CHRISTIAN"
I won't beg, but I'll invite you to open your eyes and become an atheist.
"YOU WILL BE MUCH HAPPIER WHEN YOU HAVE THE LORD TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE!!!!"
I would have to be a deluded nutjob to willingly allow someone or something else to take control of my life. You could be right, though, in the sense that sometimes deluded nutjobs are happier than sane, sober persons.
"SO PLEASE HEAR MY CRY....."
STOP SHOUTING AND FIND THE FUCKING CAPS LOCK KEY.
"HELL IS NOT A PLACE THAT YOU WANT TO GO TO!!!!"
Of course not. Neither are the heart of Jerry Falwell nor the mind of Pat Robertson, but then, all three are imaginary.
Before I heard of this site, I thought that the wildly religious zealot was mostly a figure of fun relegated to the 1300s but...God damn, thats a dim bulb. Seriously, I was under the impression that this type of thought had more or less died out in the Enlightenment...
Actually, Nicole, I think the better question is how do people like us survive on the Internet. Every decade or two seems to bring some new innovation that appeals to an even lower common denominator. The LCD of radio was superceded by television, the LCD of television superceded by Nintendo, and Nintendo superceded by the Internet. And the Internet itself has been superceded from within by MySpace.
Hey you, yeah you
Sometimes I think this book is kinda hot
Sometimes I think the Da Vinci Code is sometimes not
Puts me down, fool me around
Why did it do it to me
Out for reading fiction
Any piece of action
That ain't the way it should be
It needs readin'
Satan knows I'm the man
He's gotta see
Pours my beer
Whispers in my ear
Brings out the devil in me
Hell ain't a bad place to be
Spent my money
On that book
Stay up every night
But I got to thinkin', hey just a minute
Somethin' ain't right
All this disillusions and confusion
Make me wanna cry
Oh the shame you, playin' your games
Tellin' me those lies
Don't mind playin' demon
Long as it's with the Da Vinci Code
If this is hell
Then you could say
It's heavenly
Hell ain't a bad place to be
Late at night
Open the book
Closes up on me
Opens my heart
Tears me apart
Brings out the devil in me
Hell ain't no bad place to be
I said hell ain't no bad place to be
Hell ain't no bad place to be
Hell ain't no bad place to be
You sound so happy, yelling at people to believe as you do. If you want to believe, do it, but stay out of my face with it. I have "free choice" as given by your god according to your bible and I choose not to believe in a fanatical god who says if I don't say he is going to save me I will burn in hell,(which doesn't exist in my world. I find christians are very arrogant to think that they have the only "true" god in a world where there are so many names for god. In truth, all gods are one god and all goddesses are one goddess."God" is a job description, not a name.
Hell is certainly not a place that I want to go.
I make it a point not to visit places that don't exist, and wouldn't be very pleasant if they did.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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