We have to tolerant and inclusive. In the future all heterosexuals will have to submit to a night of gay sex to prove their loyalties to the ideals of tolerance and inclusiveness. The Democratic party will demand it. Joe Biden will demand it. Obama’s safe sex czar will demand it. If you don’t submit you will be fined and forced to buy an ornament of gay Jesus for the Christmas tree.
149 comments
The most homophobic people are the ones most obsessed with gay sex, being forced to have gay sex, the most extreme sexual practices of the gay community, and so on and so forth. Makes you wonder.
In the future all heterosexuals will have to submit to a night of gay sex to prove their loyalties to the ideals of tolerance and inclusiveness.
You wish. Then you'd have an excuse to come out of the closet.
OKay that first sentence isn't even English, so I'm just going to ignore it.
The rest is just warblgarbl paranoia.
YES, THAT IS THE NEXT LOGICAL STEP ISNT IT?
The logic train derailed and crashed into the mountain side long ago, but the wheels keep on turning nonetheless.
What the fuck is this shit?
Also, you used the word "gay" as an adjective to the proper noun "Jesus". You are going right the fuck to hell. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Tolerance doesn't mean you have to like everything, just that you have to put up with it existing without complaining.
What the heck is a safe sex czar?
Why are homophobes so focused on gay sex? They always talk about it in the most graphic terms they can think of, they always talk about gays being allowed to sexually harass them, and now they're running around claiming that they're going to be forced to participate in gay sex.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say that someone was really hoping they'll be hit on or forced to have gay sex.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock,10861/
Yeah, just like racial tolerance and inclusiveness meant we all had to dye our skin and eat fried chicken.
And gender inclusiveness required all men spend a day wearing panties and doing housework.
(Yeah, fried chicken and housework make as much sense as the supposed fondness for orgies
)
...buh?
What is wrong with these Freepers Creepers?
Now, I'm kinda sure this is a poe but there are unfortunately enough people who actually think this way. Saddening...
Frei Republik members are horrifyingly, patronizingly conservative, demanding absolute subordination of those they consider to be below them.
I remember once a guy seriously posting that he was upset that a child didn't "acknowledge" him when he spoke to the child. Take of that what you will, and I'm not making any assumptions about the man in "that" respect, the outward issue is bad enough...he thinks that all children must be inherently obedient to all adults. Can such an extremely hyperserious and hyperauthoritarian man even exist?
You realize of course, that this whole fear thing is losing its traction, right? The longer you cry wolf, the more people are going to get numb to your vitriolics.
Hmm..
You know, keep on spouting it!!
Blind Eye Jones's grandfather, circa 1964:
We have to tolerant and inclusive. In the future all whites will have to submit to a night of blackface to prove their loyalties to the ideals of tolerance and inclusiveness. The Democratic party will demand it. Hubert Humphrey will demand it. Johnson’s miscegenation czar will demand it. If you don’t submit you will be fined and forced to buy an ornament of black Jesus for the Christmas tree.
Seriously, this quote is one of the most hilarious things I have heard today.
We will not blow you for a night,
[With deepest apologies to Dr. Seuss]
@Sisyphus
Obviously the gay Jesus ornaments will have a handlebar mustache, wearing a leather vest with no shirt, a leather biker hat, and assless chaps. And instead of a crown of thorns, he'll be wearing a studded leather collar.
I don't want to sound like I'm arguing from authority here, but I have done a great deal of study on how people's private sexual fantasies are formed and expressed. It's really quite fascinating, subtle and complex and deeply strange.
My point is, I will give you ten to one that this guy masturbates imagining being forced by the government to have gay sex. Based on his phrasing, I'd say he imagines it in a private room rather than in public, with one other fellow rather than a gang bang, and that the fantasy often reaches an almost tender note, a sort of "If I had to do this, I'm glad the government assigned me to you" tone.
And then he shoots his load and instantly remembers to start hating again. Male orgasmic remorse is an amazing force.
This guys have a wild imagination, don't they...?
I detect... hopefulness, too...
I was going to call Poe, but after reading the source in context, I have to conclude that there people really do seem to think like this.
For the first time I am really scared.
[In the future all heterosexuals will have to submit to a night of gay sex to prove their loyalties to the ideals of tolerance and inclusiveness.]
For someone who isn't gay, you shure think a lot about gay sex.
[If you don’t submit you will be fined and forced to buy an ornament of gay Jesus for the Christmas tree. ]
Well, Jesus did have long hair and wore a dress.
Am I the only one who thought of this quote from Team America?
Gary Johnston: Jesus, this is a nice limo.
Nobody has consulted me to see if I would be willing/able to tolerate a night of sex with a homophobe.
I mean, why should I? I have some self-respect, and would only engage in sex with someone I have got to know really well, have a great reciprocity with, and on the understanding that it was not a one night stand. I rather doubt that homophobes would be that discriminating. They would probably want chains, dungeons, Antichrist and Rapture games, and Christians against the lions fantasies. I'm not sure if my neighbours would tolerate that. And besides, I would have to get rid of my partner of 37 years too - not something I really care to do. Nor would I care toi empty out my precious wines from the cellar to make a dungeon. Most inconvenient! No. I protest. It is too much to ask of me.
Couldn't we just arrange for the homophobes to have sex with each other? OK, I realise they are probably hopless at the nuances of the higher levels of pleasure and excitation, but that, surely, is their own fault. It has been mentioned to me by those who should know (thx Lorena) that they are of the 'wham-bam and little thanks to mam' school of premature ejacualtion.
So I plead to be let off this unpleasant duty!
@Mech610
"First off, what would a 'Gay Jesus' look like exactly?"
FABULOUS! Of course. : )
Also this reminds me of something David Thorne wrote on his website http://27bslash6.com/
"While I do not have a boyfriend, I do have a friend who is homosexual and I once asked him "Do you ever think about having sex with me because you are gay?" to which he replied "Do you ever think about having sex with Rosie O'Donnell because you are straight? Same thing."
"We have to tolerant and inclusive. In the future all heterosexuals will have to submit to a night of gay sex to prove their loyalties to the ideals of tolerance and inclusiveness."
'You're obsessed, you are!'
-Al Murray (Pub Landlord)
image
('I was never confused!')
"The Democratic party will demand it."
Nick Clegg (Deputy Prime Minister of the UK & leader of the Liberal Democrats) hasn't asked that of the people of Britain. Americentric, much?
"Joe Biden will demand it. Obama’s safe sex czar will demand it. If you don’t submit you will be fined and forced to buy an ornament of gay Jesus for the Christmas tree."
You wish!
In the future all heterosexuals will have to submit to a night of gay sex to prove their loyalties to the ideals of tolerance and inclusiveness.
Tolerance includes tolerating guys who don't like to take it up the poo pipe, idiot.
@Mothman
"I got one in! This is my first."
Appreciate it too. Thanks for finding this prime - and thus lulzworthy - example of what Blind (Brown)Eye Jones and his Freeper ilk must be experiencing right now, as exampled by "Pokemon"s James:
image
Now little Freepers, drop trou, bend over and take your dose of reality like men. And SUFFER!
>:D
You don't have to buy one, you can just print out your own. Much cheeper. I like the ballerina outfit the best.
http://www.jesusdressup.com/
...What? What is the correlation here?
On a more combative note, not too far in the past homosexuals were forced to feign heterosexuality in order to be accepted into society. Heterosexuals being forced to feign homosexuality, even for one night, is no different.
I think people should just abide the old adage: Don't knock it until you try it.
That said I don't plan on knocking it for a very, very long time.
Also: Is Gay Jesus the one that fits on top of the tree or were you thinking of one that has him filling Peter's more interesting fantasies?
I think people should just abide the old adage: Don't knock it until you try it.
That said I don't plan on knocking it for a very, very long time.
Also: Is Gay Jesus the one that fits on top of the tree or were you thinking of one that has him filling Peter's more interesting fantasies?
How do you get from allowing people the freedom to express their own sexuality, to forcing people to have non consentual sex against there sexual orientation. You fundies are the ones trying to control peoples sex lives, not us.
forced to buy an ornament of gay Jesus for the Christmas tree
What, another one? Shit, I have so many of those already.
Yep, it's the gay agenda: a round of anal for everyone when you're up for it, your choice whether you top or bottom! Or a free fingering, if you're female. Heck, go to the prom beforehand and we'll throw in a makeover and a sassy gay friend! :D
/sarcasm
(I do think that for every human being there are 0< people of either gender that person would be attracted to in some manner, but that's probably just my inner bisexual projecting onto the world.)
"In the future all heterosexuals will have to submit to a night of gay sex to prove their loyalties to the ideals of tolerance and inclusiveness."
Oh, indeed...:
image
Ted Faggard is completely heterosexual
>:D
@BK
Most if not all homophobes are closet Gays. I've long suspected it and then recently stumbled upon this article in Psychology Today. It makes a lot of sense. After all even Gays don't talk about Homosexual sex all the time; only "homophobes." Come to think about it, it isn't just Gay sex. Bible thumpers are always talking about sex. Usually about controlling it one way or another. They're just plain obsessed with sex.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-big-questions/201106/homophobic-men-most-aroused-gay-male-porn
That is one crazy oppression fantasy. About 90 percent of the population are straight, stupid, why would anyone want to force all these people to "submit to a night of gay sex". Tolerance and inclusiveness concerns all kinds, not just sexual orientation. We should also tolerate all genders, ages, skin-tones, religions, political views and opinions.
An ornament of gay Jesus? You really have an active imagination...
What part of tolerance don't you get, Bubba?
I don't even have a Christmas tree; where would I put that ornament?
Explain to me how a 'Gay Jesus' ornament would be a bad thing.
I mean, normal Jesus' robes are just so 2 millenia ago, they need COLOR. COLOR AND BALANCE.
"In the future all heterosexuals will have to submit to a night of gay sex to prove their loyalties to the ideals of tolerance and inclusiveness. The Democratic party will demand it. Joe Biden will demand it. Obama’s safe sex czar will demand it. If you don’t submit you will be fined and forced to buy an ornament of gay Jesus for the Christmas tree."
With his obsession with gay men, and his love for Queen James' Q JV, this is what Jerry actually fantasises about.
Otherwise, he wouldn't be in FSTDT. The fact he is says so much about him [/Freud]. He can always prove me wrong, though.
I don't even think it's a punishment, I just want a Gay Jesus ornament.
"Hey, y'all! I'm sorry it took so long to come back, I couldn't decide what to wear. But I think it was worth it, don't I look FABULOUS?!"
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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