Atheism and marriageability
Spiders, snakes and atheism! Most women do not like atheism! Like the serpent in the Garden of Eden, atheists are often deceptive (Please see atheism and deception).
1. Jesus
60 comments
..And if they find a pony named jebus who shares his oats with other, american women are hotter to trot than anything an atheist could handle. Fact!
I think andy's been watching too many preachy westerns. Maybe number 4 on the list was good lasso technique, number 5 is Gingham, and way down the list, maybe 10th or 11th, is "american women love a man who can give them saddle sores in all the right place" *
I know for a fact I would hate to meet any woman who agreed with that list.
What the hell is this? Sex and dating advice from Andy the Sex Machine? All based upon his supposition that the ladies love little lambs and fluffy clouds and da Baby Jesus.
Andy, if this was any stupider, it would constitute a crime against humanity.
Oh, and did you spot the three weasel words cunningly tucked away? MANY, TEND, TYPICAL. Basically, that sentence is weaseled to the point it means nothing.
Speaking for all American women are you now, Andy?
You did get one thing right: I am not crazy about spiders. I'm terrified of them, in fact, but this is because I have arachnophobia (getting bitten and scarred by a Brown Recluse a few years ago only reinforced my fear). That doesn't automatically mean that I distrust or fear anyone else who likes them. I couldn't possibly care less what an Atheist organization chooses as their 'mascot'. I'm more interested in the philosophy of the group.
They could have chosen Charles Manson as their mascot and still been more likable than most christians.
Images of Jesus are okay with me. He was a good teacher, a feminist and all around decent guy. I wouldn't call that a 'heart melting' reaction, though. Those images tend to remind me how different Jesus was from the people who claim to follow him. On this issue I am in total agreement with Ghandi: I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ .
Three things this woman loves:
1. Religious freedom.
image
The old adage about broken clocks comes to mind.
Fuck you Andrew. Fuck you, fuck your miserable shrew of a mother & fuck Jay-sus too.
Spiders don't bother me that much, snakes are awesome, ponies are cute & I am an atheist. Do not tell me what I like or dislike.
Fuck you up the ass with a rusty crossbow.
This cannot be real. Even the Shitfly isn't this stupid... right?
@tfaddict
Sharks with lasers on their heads, more like.
Somebody must have forgotten to tell me that I'm supposed to dislike atheism. Too bad, as I am an atheist myself...
Jesus surrounded by little children? Eeww, what a mushy, sickly-sweet picture!
3 things many women don't like:
3 things many women love:
Yes. Women are easily swayed between deeply held beliefs by spiders and ponies.
That's why so many women worship Odin. Who can resist Sleipnir, the eight-legged spider-pony?
Andy, honey, it's time for you to meet some grown-up women for a change. Life-long atheist and lover of snakes here, although spiders and god-bothering conservatives deserve to be smacked with a rolled-up newspaper. The next time I need to have women explained to me, I won't be calling you.
(A pony? A PONY?? Forget the adult women, you're not even ready for teens yet! 'Scuse the expression, but Jeeee-sus Christ!)
I thought My Little Ponies were an abomination of SATAN !
How can I keep this straight ?
A woman over the age of puberty might enjoy riding a horse because of the sexual stimulation she gets.
Jesus was a killer.
"God fearing husbands who tend to give more to charity than the typical American atheist."
This is one of their assertions that stats show to be false, even counting the church tithes or donations which mostly remain in the church and many claim on taxes.
Even Romney tried this stunt but many articles pointed out the Mormon tithe receipt/tax reduction process they've practiced for years. Romneys church also owns a very much for profit mall close by the church.
It's sister lie is
Andy, the world's dumbest human being. Seriously, he's so stupid, it's amazing he remembers to breath.
I guess it should be no surprise that Andy's view of women is that of a 1950s TV housewife standing on a chair and screaming for her husband when she sees a spider, seeing as how he's probably never even talked to a woman without his mommy there as chaperone.
Reminds me of John Oliver's hilarious spoof of the British campaign to get out the female vote, in which he mused that whoever thought up the campaign must envision the average woman living her life under a giant pile of yarn and romance novels.
Sorry to disappoint you, Andy, but women can read now, and everything. We don't make our decisions based on emotion and pretty pictures.
And this gentleman has two university degrees from real universities and people let him 'educate' their children...
Somewhat worrying, I think.
You left out kittens, puppies, fluffy clouds, babies crying, and housework.
Actually, there are no doubt some people in countries like Vietnam that would LOVE a slice of Snake for dinner. As for atheism, not everyone cares intensely about what one believes. And what about women with Equinophobia?
What a sexist dumbass. Hey, dumbass, I don't mind spiders or snakes as long as they aren't venomous or big enough to eat me. I will admit that I like ponies, though, but I don't actually think your god had a hand in that. If he did, though, didn't he also make spiders and snakes?
As for Jesus, I like him when he's sexy. Mmm, like me some sexy Jesus...Oh, yeah, lots of atheists give to charities, and a lot of so-called "Christians" don't. So fuck you. Dumbass.
Imagine:
Andy Shlaffy-taffy, in a box, with a vial of cyanide. There is a timer that might have gone off, that will kill Andy Schlaffy-taffy. If you open the box to find out if the timer has gone off yet, and the Schlaffy-taffy is dead, the vial automatically breaks and kills the Schlaffy-taffy... and no one cares.
"I got silly and I found a frog
Jim Stafford
No Jesus anywhere in the lyrics,
Got this from OldieLyrics, DOH! Like I need reminders.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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