My husband and I have started trying to get pregnant, and my doctor recommended I start thinking now about whether to go with a midwife or obstetrician, because midwives are in high demand and fill up really fast here. I'm undecided, but leaning heavily towards using a midwife. I'd also prefer to give birth in a birthing centre, rather than a hospital (provided I have a low risk pregnancy and it's safe for me to do so). So I started researching options in my city, and I was disappointed to see tons of "pregnant people" nonsense. I'm uncomfortable using services that deliberately and explicitly avoid the terms "mother," "woman," "women," and "female." But it seems like this is a pretty normal new standard and I'm feeling really frustrated that I have to validate trans ideology in order to have a non-medicalized, holistic pregnancy and childbirth experience. I absolutely support an inclusive, anti-discrimination approach to care that welcomes all people of diverse backgrounds and sexual orientations. But I'm uncomfortable with erasing women from pregnancy and childbirth and denying basic biology by insisting men can get pregnant and give birth. I'm also frustrated that I can't talk about this with the women in my life, for fear of being called transphobic and getting "cancelled." I guess I'm just venting, because I don't really see a way for me to have the kind of pregnancy and birth care I prefer without inadvertently supporting this ideology.
I know, right? Yeah, my ability to have my body hijacked by a parasite for the better part of a year, risk my own life bringing said parasite into the world, and be unfairly burdened with childcare is such a privilege.