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71 comments
OK I admit, the (presumably) empty bottles of booze by the door are something I might have at my place, but come on, what better excuse to party is there than a secular Christmas?
I´m missing some signs atr the door of the conservative christians, like:
I like christmas, it's probably the one time of the year that christians actually act like decent members of humanity for a change, then they go and ruin it by being all sanctimonious about how much more they celebrate the damn holiday.
Scrooge and Marley were archetypal, right-wing capitalists. Dickens was a bleeding heart liberal and it is notable that there is very little christian symbolism in "A Christmas Carol,"
But, hey, don't tell the Conservapaedo's that
"Love your $$ Hate you"
sounds so very socialistic/communistic, not ultra-capitalist conservative at all.
"Scram, beat it"
Typically seen outside the homes of proud gun owners.
Humour only works if there's a grain of truth to it - this is just a shallow attempt to promote the idea that "those other people" are reactionary, hateful and unhinged.
Incidentally, I would imagine that much more genuine fun and frivolity takes place in households where Christmas is something to actually be enjoyed, rather than being treated as an empty and self-righteous exercise in showing of one's piety to one another.
That's strange. My family is liberal, but our door looks suspiciously like the first one. As for the second one, I've never even seen a door like that, so I question your veracity.
Isn't it usually the conservative Christians who get all upset during the Christmas season at people who say "Happy Holidays?" And I'm sure conservative Christians are just as much about the $$$ during Christmas as anyone else. In fact, that's when the Salvation Army, a Christian organization, sets up their little pots with the bell ringers.
And I'm sure that there are no Christians anywhere who have ever celebrated Christmas with alcohol. Yeah, right.
@Doubting Thomas - "And I'm sure that there are no Christians anywhere who have ever celebrated Christmas with alcohol. Yeah, right."
I forget where I heard this:
Jews don't recognize Christianity.
I think Karajou has a hard time imagining how non-Conservatives celebrate Christmas....
In fact I think Karajou has a hard time imagining now non-Conservatives exist. The level of reality denial is consistent with CP though, so it's nothing out of the ordinary.
You guys can't seriously be thinking that others will consider your website a valid, unbiased source with shit like this, do you?
Wait. Don't answer that. Everyone knows you folks at Cuntservapedia are beyond batshit insane.
You forgot the "God hates fags", "Kill all Muslims", "Atheists must be exterminated", "Coexistance? Yeah right.", "Nuke all non-christian countries", "Liberals must die", "Scram liberals!", "Hitler knew how to deal with faggots", and "If a liberal comes to the door I'll shoot" signs on the conservative door. Bias is fun isn't it?
@Eden: "Jesus would wear a Smith&Wesson"
This so deserves to be on a bumper sticker. You could make millions selling them in the right parts of the country. Hell, you could make millions just selling them for $5 each at NRA meetings.
(Anon-e-moose)
Your fixing of the picture is mostly accurate. However, the sign on the lower right should read "Proud Member of the ACLJ "
After all, the ACLU is a creation of Satan's lapdogs, if not Ol' Scratch himself; what American conservative would ever be proud to have anything to do with it? *rolls eyes*
"Scrooge and Marley"
Oh yeah, Scrooge -- big time liberal! I mean, giving to the poor, supporter of welfare, looking out for the rights of others. Total liberal.
@Rat of Steel
"the sign on the lower right should read "Proud Member of the ACLJ"
Good point. I just did an on-the-fly alteration, but the basic theme is the same.
Meanwhile I either have a secular dinner at home or go spend it with my Catholic/Buddhist inlaws (don't ask, it's weird).
We don't put up a lot of decorations but that's because hubbies busy and I'm afraid of ladders. We change the lightbulbs to red & green, put up a wreath and that's about it for the outside.
I actually lol'ed at this. I have a huge "LEAVE" doormat.
There should've been a sign that says:
Godpeople, don't waste your time coming to this door and asking for shit. No.
@Thrutch
You do know Dickens was a Christian? Of course, for him his faith was about bias for the poor etc so fundies would hate him, but i think good ole Charles thought his novel was dripping in Christian themes - it's just not fundie.....
1.) Do these crazy folks know that the ACLU defends these nutters too, as free speech is one of our civil liberties?
2.) Did they miss the whole part in A Christmas Carol where the Ghost of Christmas Present essentially tells Scrooge that mankind has ruined the holiday by being so sanctimonious?
3.)UGH.
You're missing a few things on the Conservative Christmas picture, such as:
A sign reading "Santa = Satan"
Another sign reading "Christmas is for Christians only. Stop celebrating it your own way Jews, Pagans, Muslims and Atheists"
A tacky Nativity scene.
A conservative beating someone up for spelling Christmas with an X, accusing the poor man of crossing Jesus' name out, probably because they are teh evel liberal.
Actually the difference would more likely be that the liberal one looks exactly the conservative door, only it says the more inclusive "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas."
Or, y'know, maybe they would both just say Merry Christmas.
Humor doesn't work that way!
1) You got some things completely ass backwards: i.e. Scrooge was as much of a capitalist as it is possible to be and large business owners and rednecks (both which tend to be conservative) enjoy alcohol just different kinds.
2) There's very little truth to it, the only thing I can see that actually has any truth to it is the ACLU sign (which is a bad thing, how?).
3) The rest just seems forced and while those that lap up your propaganda might think it's "funny because it's true" anyone else can see it as just spouting hate with no comedic value whatsoever.
Mind you, I don't mind laughing at myself or any group I belong to, but the requirement is that it should be funny and not just a bunch of bile spewed at your opposition.
To illustrate the difference, this is humor:image
Fwiw, my fundie Christian neighbour's doormat has "Oh No Not You Again!" written on it. As it happens, she's a nice girl, pity she's a fundie...
Isn't Christmas an old pagan holiday anyway?
Also, last time I checked, red states had higher welfare recipients than blue states. Why do you claim to hate government money so much, yet take in so much of it?
Alternate comic:
Conservative Christmas: same as above, plus Christmas lights and a 10 ft high wax sculpture of Jesus on the lawn, a manger scene in the garage, and Santa and his sleigh on the roof.
Liberal Christmas: same as the conservative Christmas above, except with a "Happy Holidays" sign instead of a "Merry Christmas" sign, and roughly 8 people on the lawn protesting that.
BAM!
I think Karajou's got it backwards.
Also, this is bad, and he should feel bad.
I'm a liberal, and an atheist, and I love Christmas. It's a wonderful opportunity to get together with family and friends, eat lots of good food, and get presents!
@oop"Jews don't recognize Christianity.
I live fairly close to the Swedish Bible Belt. I have friends who live just on the outside of the "border", and A LOT of people from below the border visit their Liquor store, and jump a mile if they are recognized by their less-religious neighbors...
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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