HOMO TEST
1. [TRUE/FALSE]
Hundreds of homos lead normal, happy lives.
There is no shame in being a homo.
Homos are weak and easily beat up.
Groups of homos are dangerous and will try
Homos like to kidnap little boys and marry
Homos know all the latest dance steps and
Homos never say their prayers.
Homos cry if you're mean to them.
The only way to kill a homo is with a silver
50 comments
The last question is a trick question, obviously, any fairy lieberal knows that you can only defeat a homosexual by repelling it with a bundle of garlic, and staking it to its hideout coffin.
Yay, another round of fun facts courtesy of a fundie's anus. Lessee....Hundreds of homos lead normal, happy lives
False-ish. I think you will find that the figure is closer to hundreds of millions. Then again, you probably count "one, two, hundreds", so that's ok.
There is no shame in being a homo.
True. Or, just as much shame as being left-handed, black, or... uhm... human. Not that you'd know about any of them.
Homos are weak and easily beat up.
False. But I'd love to hear you make that statement over the PA of a "bear" club somewhere in the dodgier parts of town, big guy.
Groups of homos are dangerous and will try to take off your clothes and kill you.
False. You're thinking of homicidal psychopaths. Easy mistake to make. Had to learn it the hard way myself. Here's a tip: If they cry "I gonna kill you!! I gonna rip your throat open with my bare hands! I wanna see you bleed!" they're most likely psychopaths.
Homos like to kidnap little boys and marry them.
False. Habitual boy-napping cum nuptials gets a bit samey after a while. It's all fair and well when you're in your 20s but once you pass thirty you start slagging quite a bit, up to the point where you only kidnap a boy in alternating months, and some of us actually have to cheat to clock up the required quota of same sex weddings per year. Also, some of us have a day job to take care of.
Homos know all the latest dance steps and have great stereo equipment.
False. As anyone who has seen me do my Micheal Jackson impression (and survived to tell the tale) can testify, once they've stopped laughing. True on the audio equipment, though. Wagonloads of disposable income from our monthly paycheck from the Department of Stereotypes. And how else could we listen to the throbbing beats of GAY FM?
Homos cry if you're mean to them.
False. We don't cry. And our only weakness is kryptonite. Oh, hold on... that's Superman. Well, in that case: True. You big meanie! Boooooohoooo.
The only way to kill a homo is with a silver bullet.
True. But only if it has one of those fabulous diamond tips. You know, the totally stunning glitzy ones? Oh. My. God.
Hope I scored quite high on your scientific test. I'd hate to find out that I'm heterosexual. Would be awkward to explain to my boyfriend.
"1. [TRUE/FALSE]"Curious numbering system, the number 1 heads all the statements.
"Hundreds of homos lead normal, happy lives."
True, and more would too if you and your homophobic pals would stop harassing them.
"There is no shame in being a homo."
True, except for the "shame" created by you and your homophobic friends.
"Homos are weak and easily beat up."
False, as some may be weak, but not all, by any means.
"Groups of homos are dangerous and will try
to take off your clothes and kill you."
False. What a strange delusion.
"Homos like to kidnap little boys and marry
them."
False. Homosexuality does not equal pedophilia.
"Homos know all the latest dance steps and
have great stereo equipment."
False. I know gay men who do not dance. Great stereo equipment is usually a result of good income rather thar anything else.
Are you asserting that poor sound systems are a sign of masculinity?
"Homos never say their prayers."
False. There are many homosexuals suffering from religious delusions.
"Homos cry if you're mean to them."
True and false. I bet some of them cry. Of course, some heterosexuals cry too, so what's the point?
"The only way to kill a homo is with a silver
bullet."
False. I have not confused homosexuality with being a werewolf.
It's really too bad this nut job didn't generate an answer key to this. I'm curious to see how he feels about the Silver Bullet one, at the least.
Hundreds of homos lead normal, happy lives.Yes, they probably do... with the exception of those who are hounded by fundie morons, of course.
There is no shame in being a homo.
There is just about as much shame in being a homosexual as there is in being a bi or heterosexual. They are all normal.
Homos are weak and easily beat up.
I wouldn't know. Unlike you, I do not beat people up, expecially for things like sexual preference. If you are proud of something like that then go die in a fire already.
Groups of homos are dangerous and will try to take off your clothes and kill you.
Are you speaking from experience, or is this just your closet imagination talking, trying to vilify something that you cannot accept in yourself?
Homos like to kidnap little boys and marry them.
Absolutely no comment.
Homos know all the latest dance steps and have great stereo equipment.
That's a good thing. I wish I could dance and be able to afford good audio equipment. All in good time I guess.
Homos never say their prayers.
Probably not since most religions that require prayer also think that homosexuality is evil. Nice going, you alarmist fucks.
Homos cry if you're mean to them.
Oh, and you don't? If you're mean enough to anyone, they will cry. What's wrong with crying anyway? Not "manly" enough for your macho self?
The only way to kill a homo is with a silver bullet.
It's a waste of a bullet. It would be much more useful in getting rid of you.
The only way to kill a homo is with a silver bullet.
First of all, that was the suckiest test ever. There was only one question!
Here's a test for you, LC aka blah-blah-blah etc. etc. (your name is much too long. I'll just call you LC for 'Locked in Closet'.
There's only one test to determine if you're a "homo". If you have two people, one a man and the other a woman, standing in front of you and you are attracted to the one that's the same sex as you and not the other...You might be a homo!
From the end of the test:7. [HAVE YOU EVER?]
Slipped and fallen while taking a shower and landed on a lemon?
Accidently sat on a shot glass while playing strip poker?
Gotten "trapped" while vacuuming in the nude?
Been tied face down to a bed, and abandoned.
I think we've gotten a glimpse into LC's rich fantasy life. Though I don't quite get the part about the lemon...
Hmm... A silver bullet? Isn't reading steamy werewolf books against your religion?
Oh, and, I believe a few priests check positive on quite a few of these notes...
Similar TEST
1. [TRUE/FALSE]
Hundreds of similars lead normal, happy lives.
There is no shame in being a similar.
Similars are weak and easily beat up.
Groups of similars are dangerous and will try
Similars like to kidnap little boys and marry
Similars know all the latest dance steps and
Similars never say their prayers.
Similars cry if you're mean to them.
The only way to kill a similar is with a silver
---------------------------------------
I didn't know if everyone could understand the Greek prefix so I fixed your post for you.
Hey Jon Young, here's a test for ya.
How to tell if your a *closet* homosexual guy. Pick one.
Do you
1: Dig guys?
1, 2 & 3 means you are a healthy well - adjusted adult, 4 means you need to come out of the closet and/or at the very least quit being so damn neurotic about your "manhood", sheesh.
5: Is Fred Phelps or you. At this level please insert yourself into the nearest concrete mixer post haste, the world will thank you later. Cheers.
Hundreds of homos lead normal, happy lives.
There is no shame in being a homo.
Homos are weak and easily beat up.
Groups of homos are dangerous and will try
Homos like to kidnap little boys and marry
Homos know all the latest dance steps and
Homos never say their prayers.
Homos cry if you're mean to them.
The only way to kill a homo is with a silver
1: False.. MILLIONS of homosexuals live happy lives.
2: True
3: False
4: False
5: False
6: False
7: False
8: False
9: False, they are mortal just as your sorry ass is.
10: You're a fucking idiot. (yeah, I know this wasn't on the test, but it's extra credit)
Well, I'm not Pan, so yes.
False, millions do
So, how did I do? What's the criteria in this test? Am I a homo? TELLMETELLMETELLME!!!
“HOMO TEST
1. Hundreds? The number is a bit bigger than that, sweetie.
2. None whatsoever.
3. Guy on my first boat used to think so. Found out there was a gay bar downtown and went to beat up some faggots. ONE guy put him in the hospital.
4. I’ve been offered a drink in what turned out to be a gay bar twice. Both took ‘no’ for an answer.
5. Oh, jeez.
6. Oh, crap, my wife is a gay male…
7. They say all their prayers. I say all my prayers. I’m atheist, so the amount of time i spend on ‘my prayers’ is pretty damned close to zero, though.
8. Gonna go with false, as it’s not ALWAYS true. But there are straights who cry, too.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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