Am I a yandere?

I tried to kill strangers at school with a machete. (got caught because they ran away) I'm Bipolar I (Manic), so I'm not psychotic. I'm too emotional anyway. PS i did go to jail for it. i was trying to get on the news so my 5 year long old crush would see me dead for getting shot down by police. Original plan was to kill him before he got his HS diploma so he can stay in Highschool forever. but I couldn't help wanting to kill after I failed to get to him on his graduation ceremony. What kept me from doing it was security and nerves. Since there is no evidence to support these happened, I will confess my other attempts of murder: I bought a cleaver and hid it in a gym bag full of a disguise: a wig, gloves, androgynous baggy shorts and shirt and brought it to school. The knife was so sharp i pricked my finger on it while reaching for my phone. I wanted to kill someone in the library womens restroom which were almost soundproof. almost. i dressed up and waited 30 minutes for someone to come in but only a pair came in and i was shaking too bad, my heart was racing, and i felt my bowel areas feel warm and erotic at the same time. I felt like I was on fire. My nose started to bleed and i decided to cancel because its as if GOD was saying "you wont get away with this". the knife already had my DNA/blood on it from the finger pricking so i disposed of the knife in someones truck while my friends werent looking. Every time I see a knife, an intrusive thought of stabbing comes to mind. My parents hide all the scissors knives an tools in their room because of it. (Court or Hospital orders) It used to be towards anything that can be used as a weapon, but I've become more stable now that my anti-psychotic medication was raised. The most important is Zoloft for my Obsessive Compulsive stalking behavior towards that lil bitch. I don't like him anymore but it's become habit to know what he's been doing. I have a small sense of paranoia that someones always after me, so I always look for a weapon. Maybe the cops, maybe him because he hates me. PS but its always nice to put a term/definition to something you know? Just like my bad stalking habit. its called Limerence if you have a one sided crush for over 3 years. I still have dreams of him so it might be the 6th year