Grigadil #fundie

Grigadil #fundie fstdt.com

Strangle the bible-pimps with their own guts, and the sheeple will wander away, perhaps to grow.

Banning religion = banning thought?

Nope. Au contraire.

91 comments

old comment by Pule Thamex

ADVENTURES IN JESUSLAND

No.4 The Moon And The Fundament

In a small town in the heart of Jesusland, Oswald the T-Rex and Dolly his beloved wife strolled down the main street happily munching on large lettuce sandwichs. oblivious to the angry, honking motorists whose passage he and Dolly couldn't help but impede. A few curious pedestrians stared at them but he'd learned to live with oglers. His savage fangs impaled the heart of a lettuce, his powerful claws almost shredded the last sandwich as he finished off his meal.

Suitably replenished, Oswald began to take more note of his surroundings. Down a sidestreet marched a throng of folks carrying pitchforks or guns. Some of them had flaming torches. They cried out, "It's the work of Satan. The demons are among us. Obama is the AC. Bamy, Bamy, Bamy. Burn the heretics" and other righteous phrases.
"What gives", roared Oswald, "Why all the racket".
"A bunch of liberals and homos have started up ass worship in our God fearing little town. And we ain't gonna stand for it. We're gonna burn 'em". explained Waldemar Aristotle, spokesman for the mob.
"Why worship a humble ass when they could worship big ol' powerful me", grinned Oswald.lightheartedly.
"Oh hush", interjected Dolly, "Can't you see these folks mean business"?
"No. Not that type of ass", Waldemar replied. "Ass as in buttocks type ass".
"Ugh, o yeah", said Oswald,losing interest. Kind of sad that his attempt at lightening the mood had fallen flat.

Oswald and Dolly followed the mob as it continued on to the end of the street. There, at the edge of town, a rag tag group of citizens prostrated themselves outside a chapel. Some of them wore long flowing robes and others were sky clad. "Arise faithful worshipers", intoned a young lady wearing a crown of sycamore on her raven tresses. "Gaze upon the moon god. Symbol of truth and renewal"

With those words the worshipers raised their heads and looked upwards at a fellow, aged about thirty, with long flowing, blonde hair, stood upon the chapel roof. The man hoisted up his robes and stuck out his bare bottom. The awe-struck worshipers cied out, "O moon. Show us the way to salvation".

The angry mob set upon the moon worshipers and, with their flaming brands and pitchforks, drove them into the desert. "And don't come back", yelled Waldemar,"Or we'll kill you".

"Hey Waldemar", a skinny little guy carrying a hunting rifle squawked. "That's Jebus up there on the roof".

Waldemar immediately fell to his knees and the rest of the mob followed suit. "Forgive us o Lord. We didn't know.". The mob started speaking in tongues and praying.

"Why are you worshiping that guy's ass", queried a puzzled Oswald.
"That's Jebus up there displaying His fundament", replied the skinny guy.
"So"?
"Well we're fundamentalists".

"Good grief", muttered the Lord under his breath, "Can't a guy take a shit in peace round here"?

"Come on Dolly. They're crazy in this town. Let's go somewhere else".

old comment by Illuminatalie

Well, now that I think of it, I've never seen a RR post that says "DIAF" or anything related to cacti, so this board by definition is FAR more fundamentalist than RR. RR doesn't even come close. The funny quotes basically ended for some time now, and everyone is much more serious, as should be, because life is a serious business, and personal beliefs are no excuse for flippant language.

"Pretty much all nonreligions require the suspension of belief"
That makes perfect sense. It takes a suspension of belief to not believe in God. We require serious theological debate here, and this is not a site for simply blowing off steam or being sarcastic.

"When I can do this, it means that you're being fundie."
"Do this" = simply replace every word in a sentence with an opposite. And of course, the result makes sense, like "not believing in God requires suspension of belief". Since you can "do this", even with this post, it means I'm a fundamentalist (not to mention my other badly considered postings). I humbly accept the verdict.

Oh well, all things must pass.

old comment by Caretaker

I agree that I come to FSTDT for the lulz. I want people to mock stupidity and intolerance. Nor am I opposed to the occasional debate that springs up. I can see why Jezebel is therefore angry at this second FSTDTer quote, and why Illuminatalie prefers debate.

But this is a site that mocks intolerance. It is not a podium for any slew of beliefs beyond "fundamentalism is insane". This is not a Militant Atheists Anonymous clubhouse, nor is it an anti-theists support group.

Intolerance of every kind is fair game. You don't get protected from being quoted merely because you're an atheist posting here. TheJebusFire already did this, and I did it in Pule's quote comments, but here, for those still struggling with why the majority of us consider this fundie:

Strangle the Dawkins-pimps with their own guts, and the sheeple will wander away, perhaps to grow.

Banning atheism = banning thought?

Nope. Au contraire.

If you wish, you can replace Dawkins-pimps with faggot-pimps, atheism with homosexuality, with liberalism, with blondes, with cat-lovers. Intolerance is intolerance, people. Get used to it.

old comment by

To all you people saying this isn't fundie... straight from the FAQ. Which has been around since fstdt.com

What's a 'Fundie'?

Fundie

1. A usually religious person or entity characterized by one or more of the following: an extreme lack of rationality, fondness of logical fallacies, repeated use of emotional appeals, rigid adherence to Bronze Age mythology, endorsement of pseudoscientific nonsense, opposition to the First Amendment, bigotry and discriminatory attitudes towards minority groups, belief that certain children's media is the work of Satan, and propensity to post Bible verses instead of valid argument.

It should be noted that one can be religious--even a fundamentalist--but not actually attain the vaunted status of "fundie," which needs that special touch only people fitting stereotypical caricatures can provide. Additionally, religion is technically not even a pre-requisite for this, although blind adherence to its ideologies (and those of politics) is perhaps the #1 source of fundies in the universe. Rigid, arrogant, "know-it-all-and-confidently-force-it-on-everyone-else" authoritarian strains of both amplify the propensity to fundyism, while more moderate, "this-seems-like-a-good-idea-but-might-be-wrong, so-let's-not-be-total-jackasses-about-it" varieties can keep it in check or even undermine it.

old comment by BufferickVonHellbags

i know i don't post here that often anymore, but i felt i should say something.
to take this quote literally, i think, would be a rather stupid thing to do. i'm pretty certain grigadil isn't implying we should literally hang people by their intestines, but feel free to correct me if i'm wrong.
secondly, i just don't think it's wrong to show contempt for something, such as religion, when it so rightfully deserves it.
ever since i've popped in to visit this site, this seems to be the second or third try, to my knowledge, of a really weak attempt at trying to sound even handed by submitting a quote form someone who frequents this site. i'm not saying we shouldn't, on the contrary, i think it's vital so we can establish the fact the there are people out there who are trying to be reasonably fair and balanced when it comes to fundyism, i just don't think this particular quote cuts the mustard.
and one more thing, considering grigadil's posting history, i'm surprised so many of you are so thoroughly misunderstanding what he/she is saying.

old comment by Illuminatalie

You realize "DIAF" is not literal? I know it can be very hard for religious people to get the distinction.

That's like saying RR quotes are not to be taken literally. There are thousands of posts here saying things like that, even posting graphic pictures of flames, and as far as I am concerned every single one of them should be quoted here. They all threaten violence. In fact, maybe a list of posters here who HAVEN'T said something fundie, by these new definitions (or newly enforced definitions), would be shorter. I know I won't be on it.

Too bad. I guess this board had to change or it would get stuck in a rut. And the new direction is just as dull as a "professional atheist" (dawkins, hitchens, etc) site. But to each his own, thanks for all the fish.

old comment by lolwut?

There is nothing wrong with this statement. Every atheist here has encountered enough horse shit from religious people to just want to say fuck you one day.

Bible Pimps = people like peter popoff(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Popoff).

It does get frustrating having to explain science to christians. Oh look they are trying to use the second law of thermodynamics to disprove evolution, and failing miserably. Calling people darwinist, evolutionist, evilutionist as if those are real things.

I personally get really tired of religious dogma pretty quickly. So I tend to walk the fuck away and let them "believe" they won some sort of debate. I just don't have it in me anymore.

old comment by

"What Jezebel's Evil Sister said.

I say it's flattering that somebody is trying to turn the tables on fstdt. I'm 55 and have heard BS my whole life from fundies of the likes that inhabit/skulk about RR. Try being Pagan in the rural South. I'll be damned if I'm going to watch what I say. I don't agree with all the comments I've read but I thought this was a place to comment on the crap most of us have heard our whole life because we don't follow the majority.

Most of these people haven't the cojones to give a submission name."

Sorry, this is not an anti-religious site for anti-theists. This is an anti-fundie site for everyone with intelligence. I myself am a Christian who gets his jollies laughing at all the fundies, INCLUDING and even ESPECIALLY the Christian fundies.

Your conspiracy theory about someone trying to turn the tables on FSTDT is rather humorous, though. Has it ever occured to you that the reason these quotes got submitted AND approved is because they are, indeed, fundies?

So, no, this isn't a place to comment on the crap you have endured-- try a ranting forum for that. This is a place to make fun of the darndest fundies, as specified in the name of the website.

old comment by Grigadil

#956586 is counterfeit. I use spell check.

Meshakhad, do you really think so? That opinion is about as shallow as a piss-puddle.

---

Diderot, eh? Thank you, Apostle.

---

Think of the hypocrites claiming themselves to be spiritual authorities, and thus above the law. That's the type of "Christian" I consider religion abusers, or in Ghetto speak, "bible-pimps".

Let me throw out a name: Pat Robertson. He has graduated from the con-man level to out-and-out extortionist. Is he some sort of Ayatollah with his fatwas?

And that fredphelps creature... anything to stifle the stink of that disgusting turd. Please.

So, I stole a snippet from Diderot. I always liked a snappy phrase.

Grigadil #fundie fstdt.com

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