I'm 19. I was born female, but I've lived as a transman for 4 years. I took testosterone for 2. I went cold turkey on T last week.
I'm detransitioning because I'm sick of this community. I'm sick of the kind of activism that's done in its name. I'm sick of people who want to beat up old ladies in London, completely unprovoked, because she has a different opinion than them.
It started when I saw all this bullshit on tumblr-- went cold turkey on that fucking site too. Transwomen saying shit like "anything a trans man can do, trans women can do better". Calling transmen "shrimp dick", "fish taco". Transwomen saying that women deserve to be murdered, raped, burned at the stake, because they're TERFs.
I saw this all before I transitioned. It's called male violence, aggression, entitlement. If I have to say through my teeth "transwomen are women" one more time, I'll fucking explode.
I know. I know that not all transwomen are horrible. I know there are incredible transwomen out there. But I can't pretend that they weren't born male, that I wasn't born female, and that we weren't socialized accordingly.
I'm disgusted and frightened by how cultlike this community has become. I lost friends for saying I was detransitioning. I'm going to lose more. No one wants you to say "I'm comfortable being gender non-conforming and NOT transitioning". I was a tomboy all my life. In high school, my transman friend told me I should transition. I did, because I was a fucking idiot, and I hated myself, and I hated being a girl.
I'm sick of being such a sexist fuck. A non binary ex friend of mine always called men with long hair "they/them". They sure as fuck didn't do that for guys with short hair. My sister, talking about our cousin's new baby, was all "she's such a rowdy baby. She'll probably turn out trans."
Why are we medicating people who don't conform? Why are we giving children the choice to make a life-altering medical decision based on sexism, when they can't even get a tattoo? Why are we telling girls who don't want to get caught in the trap of femininity, "oh, well, you must actually be a boy."
FUCK that.
I'm detransitioning. I'm sorry for every and any part I played in trans activism. I was complacent listening to people talk about punching women who disagreed with them. I believed such sexist fucking things. I let other people, the med complex, and stupid little problems like pronouns control my life. There are bigger issues in the world than bathrooms. I'm sorry I spent so much time, money, and emotional effort caring about something that meant less than shit.