I'm having a bit of a Damascene moment here.
Seriously thinking about converting to Islam.
Just think,
an end to enforced homosexuality,
our lovely lags executed or hands choppped off,
the missus will have to stop her yapping,
Jihad on the BBC.
As a white middle aged, middle class Englishman I stand no chance out there in our glorious brave new world, but as a Muslim I can take on the Liberal Elite.
Tempting, bloody tempting.
50 comments
What enforced homosexuality? Noone is forcing anyone to have sex with someone of their own gender anywhere in the world.
"the missus will have to stop het yapping"? You misogynist asshole. I bet you'd love to see your wife barefoot and pregnant in the kichen, because women are only for making food and children, right? FU.
So, uh, what's a "lag"? 'Cos I seriously doubt Islamic extremists take such a hard-line stance against network latency...
Although it would be hilarious if one of the "my petty gripes mean the world is sinful and should end" crowd started bemoaning the state of their Internet connection.
an end to enforced homosexuality
Where in the world is any country forcing people to be gay? Homoslavia, maybe?
Lag is British slang for a criminal who has spent time in prison - usually phrased as "old lag" meaning a career petty criminal who keeps getting caught. A repeat offender in other words
Not sure where "lovely" comes into it though.
You do know that only YOU change when you convert to Islam, right? Your environment stays just the same, and you'll still be a middle aged, middle class Englishman.
Enforced homosexuality is already at an end; there is no such thing. Unless you mean that the people born as homosexuals have no choice in the matter. That will never change; nature won't conform to political or religious views.
The Muslim Council of Great Britain. Very pro-Parliament (and thus pro -Democracy). They keep the Home Office, Scotland Yard & MI6 abreast of any & all Islamist extremist activities in the UK & beyond (thus MI6 share their info with the CIA, NSA, Interpol & Mossad).
They have said that they will take any & all steps to ensure Sharia law will never exist here in the UK.
...still 'tempted', or just being an Internet Tough Guy much, extelegraph reader...?! Otherwise, fuck off to Saudi Arabia or Iran. What's that, you say? You like living in the free UK too much? As well as your beer/wine/pork chops & bacon etc? Well, that's you fucked, then.
'an end to enforced homosexuality'
Is that what you told the police when you got caught cottaging on Hampstead Heath?
'our lovely lags executed or hands choppped off'
You know nothing about Sharia law.
'the missus will have to stop her yapping'
Or what tough guy? But it won't be a problem because she's divorcing you after the cottaging incident.
'Jihad on the BBC'
That's an odd one. Why are the BBC your enemy?
'As a white middle aged, middle class Englishman I stand no chance out there in our glorious brave new world, but as a Muslim I can take on the Liberal Elite'
Just like they do in Iran you mean?
"I'm having a bit of a Damascene moment here."
I'm having a bit of an epileptic fit myself, just reading that.
I was unaware that Britain had enforced homosexuality. Although I'm a stupid Yank, so what do I know?
As for the rest of this...please!
It warms my heart to see that teabaggers (of sorts) are not just a US problem. Not that I wish for any country to have to deal with these irritants.
I call Poe here. The idea of describing the long, slow, gradual movement towards a humane, tolerant society which Britain is undergoing as "enforced homosexuality" is comedy genius.
I just hope some Torygraph readers bit and we'll see their responses here soon...
maxedout:
It's called sarcasm.
So, being of weak character and low on skills, both social and occupational, you advocate a society in which one garners benefits by being born with a penis. Lame, bloody lame.
Enforced homosexuality--really? Someone is making straight people engage in homosexual relations whether they want to or not?
Exactly how many times has this happened to you? Never? Oh. That's very different...never mind.
Wow. If even half of this is true, England has changed enormously since I was last there and I was last there last August.
I'm beginning to understand why the psychologists say that many conservatives, especially those with an authoritarian follower bent, can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality.
Ready to give up beer and bacon? Ready to pray 5 times a day and fast for one month out of every year? Ready to donate 2.5% of your earnings to charity? Ready to travel to Mecca for your mandatory pilgrimage?
Islam is a lot more complicated than just attacking the "Liberal Elite." (And thanks for capitalizing our title; it shows the right amount of respect.)
"White, middle class, male privilege isn't enough, damn it, and I'm too stupid to get rich, so just gimme control over the wimminz, and the right to force heterosexuality on everyone!"
As a white middle aged, working class Englishman
You are a bigoted, lunatic cunt.
@maxedout:
I think the "lovely" is sarcastic.
@Anon-e-moose :
@maxedout:
I think the "lovely" is sarcastic.
@Anon-e-moose :
@Felis >:3
It was a discussion on BBC Radio 5, with the leader of said Muslim Council of Great Britain. This was a few years ago, and the podcast no longer exists on the BBC's website (they only keep previous podcasts of certain programmes - especially Mark Kermode's film reviews - up for a while, before they're no longer available).
But like I say, their being in touch with the Home Office/Scotland Yard/MI6, re. extremist activities (& their sharing said intel. with the FBI, CIA, NSA, Interpol, Mossad et al) has prevented potential terrorist attacks here & abroad, so that's definitely worth something.
Muslims in my locale tell me the reason they left Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan etc was precisely because of extremism, and they just want a quiet life for themselves & their families (no doubt the same with those who immigrated to the US). Why would they jeopardise that?
I take it you can't logically support your hatred. so the only thing left for you is to kill kill kill? you're nothing but a violent git, and you better pray to your god that some other violent git doesn't play the golden rule on your. please live on some island so civil people like us can talk about our problems and not shoot-up offices when we can't back up our vitriol.
Being white and middle-class (albeit Scottish, though I was born in England, and merely approaching middle age rather than actually there), I have to say that I'm doing just fine.
As a white, middle-aged, middle-class Englishman you've had plenty of opportunities; you've just squandered them by being an arse.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
