Anonymous Coward #conspiracy godlikeproductions.com

So I have a regular account on GLP, but I would rather not divulge it for 1) losing credibility and 2) it's not the kind of thing I'm known for posting... So here is my story.

Late 2013 I was in my living room about 8 oclock at night. Something was rustling through the fake ficus on my porch and by the way my pooch jumped up and tore to the door I figured it was a coyote scavenging around my wooden deck again (probably smelled where a trashbag was sitting earlier.

Before I tell the rest of the story I will make it known since I'm not using my account that I'm a private security professional and martial artist, and many reactions as they would seem inappropriate are just habit.

Back to the story. So I keep a .22 by the door mostly to scare night time creatures off the deck. I grab it and not expecting anything more serious than maybe a raccoon, open the door where my jack Russell is already furiously clawing. As he scoots out the crack in the door and bounds out, I turn on the porchlight fully open the door with my little browning leading out. When the automatic light came on I was not prepared for what I saw

About 7 yards away, a giant bipedal figure about 8 feet tall gets up from a crouch and looks down at my little terrier which wasted no time running to the behemoths feet. He had a look of annoyance and almost anger on his face. I'm not sure if it was anger at my dog's aggression or at being unexpectedly surprised, but that second I sensed imminent danger and opened fire for center mass.

I'm positive I should have struck him 3 times, but I saw no wound, no blood, the thick hair did not even look disturbed. Its like every round either missed or dissapeared into thin air! Now he looked pissed! Instead of closing in on me though, he began to crouch down. I could only believe this was to grab for my terrier and in a split second I thought if I could push him back for a split second I could grab my dog and haul ass back through the door. Instinctively I tried to land a push kick right for his diaphragm. I had to close a little distance so I kept forward into the push kick that was not surprisingly about my face level since he was so tall. It landed squarely and forcefully right under his ribcage, and although it didn't knock him back as much as I thought it would, I heard a short gasping cough as he slouched an inch or two. I could tell the blow caused at least mild discomfort.

A shock of fear raced down my body as I realised what I had just done. I had intiated a physical fight with something I could not possibly escape from or win against. His massive right hand swung and made contact with what seemed like the entire side of my body, flinging me out into the yard. Landing and skidding in the dirt. As he approached me he raised his arms above his head in two fists and as I got up to my feet he "screamed" and swung down with both of them. His left arm missed completely as I stepped to the side and thrust my palm into his chin in an attempt to push his head and drive him backwards off his feet. His right arm however came down and made a massive blow to my left shoulder.

I was sure that it had broken or dislocated ever bone in my left torso at the time (although xrays later showed it wasnt severe as it felt) and out of panic and last resorts I began to run as hard as I could, driving his head back as I went. He began to stumble and with the same arm I hammer fisted him it the face several times, making contact at least once (not even budging his massive head) and he tripped to his back, which I'm sure was more of a clumsy accident than from my blows.

As he fell to his back, my instinct was to drop on him cross-side and just try to land some hits, any hits. As I dropped my weight to his chest and lifted my hand to strike, he effortlessly threw me straight up with both hands, and I landed face first in the dirt, the rest of my body crumpling behind it.

I heard him get up, "yell" and walk off. I was terrified and had no desire to lift my head out of the dirt to see, and I was in terrible pain. He stomped around a few yards away for about a minute and I finally looked up and saw him stomp into the brush. My dog sat there paralyzed, belly up in a submissive posture, shaking. About 30 later I finally worked up the motivation to get up and approached the spot where he left through the brush.

To my surprise the brush was completely undisturbed, like he had just dematerialized into nothingness. My gun was gone, I can only assume he threw it.

There's my story. Has anyone ever heard of a bigfoot just "appearing" or "dissapearing"? The footprints just stop at the brush. What was going on?

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So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

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