chirandu #fundie

chirandu #fundie cbc.ca

There was one Adam, one Eve. They were joined by God alone. One female horse, one male; one female parrot, one male, at the beginning, as He told us to go back, there was only one pair of anything. Then we find out that everything in the beginning was running in perfect order and harmony with God; nothing was out of cater. Now, when human beings was running in continuity with God, with one man and one woman, this woman sinned. And it throwed the whole earthly program out of continuity with God. Then it was the woman that caused the separation of the lovely home. It was not a Cherubim that bothered the earth. It was not Adam that throwed the home out. It was not anything else that throwed the home out and throwed the whole thing out of continuity, but a woman: Eve.

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old comment by E. A. Poe

Quoth the Raven, "'Tell us a story', squeaked Millie Bailey Carpenter the demure bat. 'Yes', cawed Archibald Collins the magpie, 'I'd like a story too'. 'Very well. What story shell we have?', croaked Brother Edmund Harper the gnarly toad. 'What about a tale from the Dreaming City?'

'Wait for us', called Jack Spratt as he lurched into the forest clearing along with the jackanapes and Joseph Martins Bigglesworth the marionette. 'And don't forget us', shouted the Sandman walking hand-in-hand with the capering Christian along the hidden pathway.

Brother Edmund Harper the gnarly toad waited until all had settled around and then announced, 'I shall tell a story from the young days of the world.' And he began.

Onslow, the T-Rex munched merrily away at the lush green grass in his garden. His happy mood was interrupted by his wife Dolly.

'Onslow, what shall we have for supper this evening? Do you prefer grass-pie or weed-salad with a garnish of crushed walnut?'

Oh! Blast! The dinosaur thought to himself. For the last 998 years it has been the same choice. Grass-pie or weed-salad with a garnish of crushed walnuts. He couldn't even contemplate moving out and starting an affair with a younger T-Rex lady. He and Dolly were the only ones of their kind, and they had no children as yet.

Lewis smiled benevolently as he sank below the rim of the world (cont. page 94)

old comment by Ronni Bom

Genesis
1:20 And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.
21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
22 And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.
23 And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
24 And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.
25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

2:7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
8 And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed
19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

I thought this were the beginnings?

old comment by GigaGuess

Now, when human beings was running in continuity with God, with one man and one woman, this woman sinned. And it throwed the whole earthly program out of continuity with God. Then it was the woman that caused the separation of the lovely home. It was not a Cherubim that bothered the earth. It was not Adam that throwed the home out. It was not anything else that throwed the home out and throwed the whole thing out of continuity, but a woman: Eve.

Except Adam isn't as squeaky clean as you make him out to be. He ate the apple too. Eve forced nothing on him, he disobeyed of his own volition. If Eve convincing Adam is Eve's fault, then it's the snake's fault in the first place for tricking Eve. Or God for putting something like that in the middle of his creation, and expecting his creations who knew no better to just leave it be. FURTHER, when confronted, Adam disavowed everything, and tried to pin it solely on Eve, as opposed to manning up and owning his part. Selling your wife up the river to save your own hide, at least in my books, equals profound asshole. But whatever makes your thinly veiled misogyny seem better, buddy...

chirandu #fundie cbc.ca

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