I got stoned and decided to experiment to see if I could find hidden meanings in the bible while stoned. I woudl immediately come down and be unstoned when I began to read. I would be totally moved by what I read and want to be a Chrisian. Then I'd get stonned again and repeat the process with the same result. This went on about five times then I decided never smoke pot again because if God was real he was trying to tell me I don't need pot. I grew to realize I like prayer better. I never smoked pot since.
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"I got stoned and decided to experiment to see if I could find hidden meanings in the bible while stoned."
If one is smoking good pot, one can probably find hidden meanings in almost anything.
"woudl immediately come down and be unstoned when I began to read."
What a badly constructed sentence. Also, I doubt you were stoned or very stoned anyway. Either that, and/or you're a liar.
"I would be totally moved by what I read and want to be a Chrisian."
What tense are we operating in? You "got stoned," or you "would be totally moved?"
"Then I'd get stonned again and repeat the process with the same result. This went on about five times then I decided never smoke pot again because if God was real he was trying to tell me I don't need pot."
Past tense or present tense, I don't think the pot is/was your primary problem.
"I grew to realize I like prayer better. I never smoked pot since."
I'd bet dollars to dead snails that you made this up to impress your dinkwad Fundie friends and you've never, ever smoked pot.
Well, then let me tell you how to cook with pot, instead.
Basically, you can substitute pot for anything with oregano, sage or thyme. It's wonderful when placed just under the skin of a chicken to be roasted, along with a little butter or olive oil; and excellent in tomato-based sauces (and almost indispensable for spaghetti sauce).
Is it perhaps possible that you remained stoned whilst reading the bible, but it convinced your still-stoned mind that it suddenly wasn't, in rather a similar way to how stoners can convince themselves they're seeing deep meaning in something when they're actually spouting freewheeling gibberish?
Dude! You totally have to do it again, shah. Only this time baptize the cat, shah. Totally righteous, shah?
I've never touched weed and even I know that when you're stoned EVERYTHING has a deep hidden meaning. Hell, I managed to half-convince myself that an episode of Dora the Explorer (I was hella bored at the time, don't judge me) was secretly a metaphor for mankind's search for God, and I was completely lucid (if maybe a little sleep-deprived) at the time. If I were to watch, say, Law and Order while stoned I'd probably start going on about how the show is actually a commentary on how humanity is always searching for the truth behind the workings of the universe, or something. And then I'd tell you that I, like, totally would love a chili dog and some lemonade, and some curly fries covered in cheese.
Man, that's proof right there that drugs will really fuck you up, so much so that you begin to believe in magical sky pixies. :D
Also, this seems appropriate:
image
Granted, the bible IS a buzzkill, but this guy is full of shit. Smoking crack is more like it.
Or plutonium nyborg...
Zeks: "Look, man, if there's one thing I know, it's how to drive while I'm stoned. You know your perception is completely fucked so you just let your hands work the controls as if you were straight."
Adrian
Well, I guess there is some truth to the claim that pot is a gateway drug...
BULLshit.
Beer and cigarettes are the gateway drugs, if there is such a thing. Pot is harmless. This fuckwit can't even spell 'christian' right.
last I saw pot and religion mix, the girl did go reading the bible for similar inspiration and gave up on it permanently.
The bible I mean, not the pot. Even stoned, didn't make sense.
So what are you trying to tell us?
Your weed sucked?
The Bible is a total buzz killer?
That you are a gullible ass?
That you arent very educated?
Or all of the above?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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