Call her Gwyneth the Vampire Repeller.
Just in time for Halloween, when all sorts of nasty spirits are out, Gwyneth Paltrow unveils “Psychic Vampire Repellent” on her lifestyle website, Goop, so users can remove negative energies from their life.
The pseudo-holistic product is a “protection mist” that promises to “banish bad vibes” and “shield you from the people who may be causing them.”
Ingredients include “sonically tuned water” (whatever that is), rosewater, sea salt, rosemary, juniper, lavender, ruby, bloodstone, moonlight, and love. Seriously.
The product features a disclaimer that it has not been evaluated by the FDA and should not replace the advice of a medical professional. Obviously, as a medical professional would definitely recommend garlic and sunlight as ingredients. That’s just good vampire hunting.
A related product is a “Chill Child - Kid Calming Mist,” which you can “spray into the air around your wild child’s aura to restore peace to the environment.”
So when Timmy is having a tantrum, just spray him with Chill Child and all will be well. Or you may have to grab the Vampire Repellent.
Both products run for $30 for a 3.4 oz bottle and were developed by Paper Crane Apothecary.
Paltrow also opened her first permanent brick-and-mortar Goop location in Los Angeles at Brentwood Country Mart over the weekend. Called “Goop Lab,” the store sells the infamously Bohemian and bizarre products Paltrow sells on her site like Moonlight Catalyst, an anti-aging serum with fermented pumpkin enzymes and ashwagandha dietary supplement, which promotes immue health and “sexual vitality.”