Progressives! Do you give a rat's ass about equal rights? How'bout the whole rat?

Join the Just One Rat campaign!

It's nonviolent! It's fun! It's probably illegal but so are sit-ins!

Go to your local pet shop. Buy one rat, the mangey gray ones they sell for cheap, as snake-food for people who have large snakes.

Get some kind of small container with a way of having fresh air. A can for tennis balls might work, if you punch holes in the lid. A previously-used Chik-Filth-E bag might be perfect for the job because you can leave it under the table with the top almost entirely unrolled, so the rat can escape on its own.

Go into a Chik-Filth-E during dinner hour, when lots of homophobes will be taking their families out to get salmonella. Keep your secret rat container carefully concealed. Choose your seating tactically. You want to be in an area where no matter which way the rat wants to go, it has to cross an open area where people will see it. Be sure you're not sitting where any obvious cameras can see you.

When you release the rat, don't be the first to spot it. Let someone else spot it. As soon as you hear someone say "eek a rat!" or similar words, you can say "Eww I think I'm gonna' be sick" and exit. Or you can exit early, before anyone else sees the rat.

It's even more fun if you have an accomplice who came in at about the same time as you, but showed no sign of knowing you, and who sat somewhere else that had a commanding view of the entire room. Your accomplice can stay behind to take cellphone video of the rat and the other patrons' reactions, and can also serve as a witness that the rat came from somewhere other than the area where you were sitting. For example, "I think it crawled out of the trash can over there..."

All it takes is ONE rat in the middle of a crowded dinner hour, to make all kinds of merriment that will last and last.