Pat Robertson, leader of the 700 Club and horse enthusiast, is enraged at the current exercise craze, Prancercise. The exercise regimen was developed by Joanna Rohrback, and requires the practitioner to prance about like a horse. In her book, Prancercise, The Art of Physical and Spiritual Excellence , the author describes the routine "A springy,rhythmic way of moving forward, similar to a horse's gait and is ideally induced by elation."
Pat Robertson has been quite public about the demonic roots of this seemingly benign pony-like movement.
Here is his written statement.
Look here, people are God's children, and meant to walk about like Jesus did. Jesus never pranced. He rose people from the dead. He turned water into wine. But the Bible never states that Jesus trotted about in a pony or in a horse like manner. In fact, the Bible does say that Jesus rode a donkey into Jerusalem. He definitely did not canter into the capital of God's earthly kingdom.
47 comments
Maybe Jesus pranced around like a horse for the first twenty nine and a half years of his life, of which nothing is known.
It sounds about as likely as some of the things that were written about him.
Jesus also didn't eat pork, have a television program, mansions, limosines and private jets Pat.
The great false prophet talks shit yet again.
So, I guess this means you're going to stop spewing hate on television, since Jesus didn't do that, either.
"the Bible never states that Jesus trotted about in a pony or in a horse like manner"
That's because he was a single dude. Just about everyone who has ever played with children skips and trots like a horsie at some point.
Yet more proof that fundies completely lack a sense of humor. If he had one, he'd probably realize most people are just poking fun at the prancercise lady. Last I checked, there weren't any prancercise classes at my gym.
The Bible doesn't say that he didn't. Absence of evidence isn't evidence of absence, as our fundie friends like to say. So shut your cake-hole fatty, and learn some proper English. People are 'raised' from the dead.
I do agree, however, that Jesus rode on his ass into Jerusalem.
" But the Bible never states that Jesus trotted about in a pony or in a horse like manner."
Of course not, that was Her Highness Princess Celestia.
"But the Bible never states that Jesus trotted about in a pony or in a horse like manner."
The Bible also doesn't state that jesus was Heterosexual... I guess you believe he was Gay then?
"In fact, the Bible does say that Jesus rode a donkey into Jerusalem."
Um, no... the Bible says that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on an Ass and a foal of an Ass.
"But the Bible never states that Jesus trotted about in a pony"
Now, why am I reminded of this ...?:
http://askprincessmolestia.tumblr.com/image/34308924499
...and of couuuuuurse - as your J-boy is God, and therefore Omnipresent ...! /)^3^(\
That scene in the film "Police Academy" springs to mind. Therefore - by your own admission Patty-boy - Jesus really is the Horse's Ass! >:D
@Filin De Blanc
And as demonstrated above, in Soviet Equestria, Princess Molest ia is inside you [/John Joseco]; or certainly in that case, Rainbow Dash comes inside you. [/mlp/] X3
Patty-boy: In Soviet Purgatory, Atheists laugh at you .
He definitely did not canter into the capital of God's earthly kingdom.
Yeah, but if Jesus were alive today, you can bet your fat ass that he would have posted a LOL WTF video of him and the 12 doing a rendition Gangnam Style on YouTube.
Speaking of which: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuMMgE7W0ds
Oppan Robertson style!
(What? Too last year?)
This is fake . Can't find another reference on the internet. More importantly the source (link above is messed up, see here ) says:
"Oh, Prancercise is real. Mad Pat doing dressage is real. However, he has not spoken out against Prancercise as of yet -- give him time."
Robertson says a bunch of crazy things, but this wasn't one of them.
...and meant to walk about like Jesus did.
Well, okay.
...but I bet I can walk around outside a cemetery all day long and yell, "Rise!" and never get a single taker.
Perhaps the attention of a concerned policeman, but no Walking Deadles.
EDIT: I just watched one of the Prancercise videos. It's kind of adorable, actually and the lady who runs the workout keeps it at a pace anyone could follow. Even Pat.
I suddenly have an image of Jesus and the Twelve prancing around with a bunch of guys behind them with coconuts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4_9kDO3q0w
Also, the Bible never states that Jesus had a TV show.
@Night Jaguar
"Oppan Robertson style!
(What? Too last year?)"
Nah, even "Gangnam Style" is very now . [/Ear Worm] X3
In Patty-boy's case, more like 'I'm a Motherfucking Gentleman!' >:D
@Night Jaguar
Even if this is fake the "Jesus didn't do ,,,,," is a regular thing from Pat. Most comments fit his normal bullshittery.
Poe? Very well could be, but it's exactly that easy to copy their mo because their outrage is never justified.
Jesus never drove a car or rode in a limo, either.
Looks like you're walking or riding a donkey from now on, Pat! After all, it's what Jesus wants.
While we're on the subject of "being like Jesus," do you remember what he said about giving all your possessions to the poor? I'm guessing you don't.
EDIT: Damn, it's a fake. Ah, well. It did seem like something he would say.
Well, if you want to be like that, Jesus (if he even existed), never rode in a car or traveled by airplane or used a computer... Hell I don't even think he used underwear or antibiotics. So, if you want to live like in the bronze age, go right ahead, but I don't think you've got the balls.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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