Masturbation will wreck you. It will destroy you. There can't be anything on earth that makes you feel more guilty, or anything that has to be kept as more of a secret, or something that's harder to cope with because you don't feel like you can tell anyone. I'm going on 14 months free of this horrifying disease. Praise Jesus, who set me free.
58 comments
dude, what about like, killing people. I think that would make me feel more guilty. and I'd keep it secret more. shit i'll readily admit to most people I whack off. I mean serioudly, you're one of the three guys on the internet who doesn't.
"Nothing on earth that makes you feel more guilty"? You can murder, you can rape, you can steal, you can betray, you can break your oaths, you can sin against your kin, BUT HEAVEN HELP YOU IF YOU TOUCH YOURSELF AT NIGHT.
I don't believe you. Personally, rubbing one off makes me feel good, relieves my stress, and helps me fall asleep.
I love these people who are so obviously ashamed of their bodies and so on, they make me giggle, because I know their just rewards come in the form of crippling depression. Not that I'm a spiteful bastard or anything...
Masturbation 'cuts cancer risk'http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3072021.stm
Researchers were assessing prostate cancer risk...
Men could reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular masturbation, researchers suggest. They say cancer-causing chemicals could build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly.
And they say sexual intercourse may not have the same protective effect because of the possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted infection, which could increase men's cancer risk.
Australian researchers questioned over 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer and 1,250 who had not about their sexual habits.
This is a plausible theory...
Dr Chris Hiley, Prostate Cancer Charity
They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop the cancer.
The protective effect was greatest while the men were in their 20s.
Men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life.
Fluid...
Previous research has suggested that a high number of sexual partners or a high level of sexual activity increased a man's risk of developing prostate cancer by up to 40%.
But the Australian researchers who carried out this study suggest the early work missed the protective effect of ejaculation because it focussed on sexual intercourse, with its associated risk of STIs.
Graham Giles, of the Cancer Council Victoria in Melbourne, who led the research team, told New Scientist: "Had we been able to remove ejaculations associated with sexual intercourse, there should have been an even stronger protective effect of ejaculations."
The researchers suggest that ejaculating may prevent carcinogens accumulating in the prostate gland.
The prostate provides a fluid into semen during ejaculation that activates sperm and prevents them sticking together.
The fluid has high concentrations of substances including potassium, zinc, fructose and citric acid, which are drawn from the bloodstream.
But animal studies have shown carcinogens such as 3-methylchloranthrene, found in cigarette smoke, are also concentrated in the prostate.
'Flushing out'
Dr Giles said fewer ejaculations may mean the carcinogens build up.
"It's a prostatic stagnation hypothesis. The more you flush the ducts out, the less there is to hang around and damage the cells that line them."
A similar connection has been found between breast cancer and breastfeeding, where lactating appeared to "flush out" carcinogens, reduce a woman's risk of the disease, New Scientist reports.
Another theory put forward by the researchers is that ejaculation may induce prostate glands to mature fully, making them less susceptible to carcinogens.
Dr Chris Hiley, head of policy and research at the UK's Prostate Cancer Charity, told BBC News Online: "This is a plausible theory."
She added: "In the same way the human papillomavirus has been linked to cervical cancer, there is a suggestion that bits of prostate cancer may be related to a sexually transmitted infection earlier in life."
Anthony Smith, deputy director of the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society at La Trobe University in Melbourne, said the research could affect the kind of lifestyle advice doctors give to patients.
"Masturbation is part of people's sexual repertoire.
"If these findings hold up, then it's perfectly reasonable that men should be encouraged to masturbate," he said.
Uh... huh. Someone tell this asshole how property transferred in the time of the Old Testament and what Onan's real sin was (hint, Picky: it's not beating off).
Nobody really keeps their jacking off a secret (except fundies), it's just that you don't bring it up in polite conversation.
As for it being a disease? Nope. Overdo it and your dick turns red, but give it a couple days to rest and it goes back to normal.
I touch myself down there all the time, never felt the least bit guilty about it. The only people that feel horribly guilty about it are the people who have been told it's bad over and over again, funny how that works.
Supposing it's a sin (which it ain't even by your own book -- Onan was slain for disobeying Judah's order to impregnate his brother's wife, not jacking off; read Gen. 38:8-10), which of the following is worse when you need sexual relief?
a) pay for sex (prostitution -- a crime)
I hold this most intimate communion called lovemaking to be worthless if it is not freely given, which means options a and b (economic and physical coercion, respectively) would be out of the question even if they were legal. Therefore, lacking a legitimate partner, I indulge in option c with no guilt whatsoever.
(Edit: a little clarification upon rereading.)
Really now, if you can't please yourself, how can you please anyone else? Furthermore, how will anyone else know what you like if you sexually repress yourself? Oh well, another perscription for Viagra.
"There can't be anything on earth that makes you feel more guilty, or anything that has to be kept as more of a secret, or something that's harder to cope with because you don't feel like you can tell anyone"
Even though lots of people masturbate?
I think there are more embarassing things.
To give you a small sample:
Vore.
And the list goes on.
You could collect all these singles on your own, but it would cost over $50000.
IF you order now, you can get all these for the low, low price of just
(I was led to believe that) masturbation will wreck me. It will destroy me. There can't be anything on earth that makes me feel more guilty, or anything that has to be kept as more of a secret, or something that's harder to cope with because I don't feel like I can tell anyone. I've forced myself to go on 14 months free of this (what I believe is a) horrifying disease. Fuck the church, who set me astray. Fixed
And thou shalt burn in the hellfire of thine own folly, so sayeth the lord. Amen, you idiot.
80% of people wank. The other 20% are liars.
It disturbs me that this person cannot think up any other act more destructive than masturbating, which is not harmful unless you're doing it in public.
Blue balls?
Or just a liar?
I used to feel guilty about masturbating, when I was a teenager and fed this nonsense all the time.
Still didn't stop me though, and I got out in time to have a healthy sex life!
I get some regularly and I still masturbate :D It's relaxing and fun. It's even more fun when a partner watches!
Masturbation will wreck you. It will destroy you.
I've masturbated fairly regularly for more than half of my life and, strangely enough, I still have 20/20 vision, I do not need to shave my palms, I'm not clinically insane, I have no criminal record and I'm not a homeless junkie. I do have an accredited degree and am quite employable, however. Oh and I feel fucking good about myself.
When, precisely, should I expect all the dire things masturbation causes?
95% of surveyed males admit masturbating, and we all know the other 5% are filthy liars - if masturbation was anywhere near as harmful as you lunatics make out, humanity should be extinct by now. (or, at least, have evolved into a female-only species, since women allegedly masturbate less than men - a statistic which I frankly doubt, however!)
What about genocide, torture, rape, meth addiction, registration for the Nazi Party, and cannibalism?
"There can't be anything on earth that makes you feel more guilty,"
Really? How ashamed of your body are you? It doesnt make me feel guilty, it makes me feel great.
"or anything that has to be kept as more of a secret,"
My gf and I discuss it quite openly, because we're not closeted nutjobs. We both love sex, and if we can't have that we both enjoy masturbation.
"or something that's harder to cope with because you don't feel like you can tell anyone."
See above.
"I'm going on 14 months free of this horrifying disease."
I'm going on about 5 hours.
"There can't be anything that can make you feel more guilty." What about rape, torture, or murder? Would you readily admit to that? Masturbation just satisfies your body's natural urges, as long as you don't do it too often, it's harmless.
You only feel guilty afterwards if you think you ought to feel guilty.
Masturbation is just sex with someone you (hopefully) love.
I've been doing it for about three fourths of my life so far. When will it destroy me?
Sexual repression for JEEEESSSUUUUSSSS
And what the fuck do you mean you don't masturbate? Every time you have those sick fantasies of the people you don't like burning in hell, we can damn near HEAR the fapping in the background.
Fourteen months? And your bollocks haven't exploded from the pressure yet?
I bet you wake up in the night, every night, sweating and fearful after a dream of Satan sucking on your hard-on.
"you don't feel like you can tell anyone"
Um, why exactly do you want to tell someone? Exhibitionism?
I will tell you, in ten seconds, things that make me feel more guilty, keep of a secret and harder to cope:
Why the fuck are you so concerned with what goes on in my bedroom? No one is being harmed, any involved are of consenting age, so what happens there is none of your fucking business. Within the law, don't try to tell me what I can or can't do in the privacy of my own damn house.
I can't think of anything on Earth that makes me LESS guilty, actually.
Honey, it only makes you feel guilty if you think it's wrong. If you think it's OK, and medically good for you, the guilt will disapear, I promise.
“Masturbation will wreck you.”
“It will destroy you.”
“There can't be anything on earth that makes you feel more guilty”
“or anything that has to be kept as more of a secret”
“something that's harder to cope with because you don't feel like you can tell anyone.”
"I'm going on 14 months free of this horrifying disease”
“Praise Jesus, who set me free.”
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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