Kaykay #fundie

Kaykay #fundie answers.yahoo.com

How to be an Atheist

1. Become an Emo Goth.

2. ***** about Christians.

3. Defend Islamic terrorists

4. Whine about Christian's free speech rights.

5. Believe in the THEORY of evolution and the Big Bang THEORY.

6. Support Communism and hate the Constitution.

7. Defend homosexual perverts.

8. Fund the abortion, drug and porn industry.

9. Indoctrinate people into Communism in colleges.

10. Kill yourself because life has no meaning because it's just a bunch of chemicals and stuff.

Well, all of the studies say that theists aren't as bright as atheists. You seem to confirm those results. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religiosity_and_intelligence

Doesn't matter. Faith is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is worthless in the End Times. Also it's the Atheists who have more drug problems and most Atheists had bad childhoods. No wonder Atheists hate family values and promote drugs and lesbianism!

59 comments

old comment by Sangfroid

1. Sorry, others might, but I don't know a single goth who is an atheist.

2. Something about Christians? What?

3. Sorry, don 't know any atheists who defend terrorists.

4. Who is Christian? Oh, I see, poor grammar. No, it does drive atheists crazy when Christians free speech is the only thing considered.

5. All this time and effort, and you idiots still don't know what a theory is in the scientific context?

6. What communism? And have you ever heard of the Establishment Clause?

7. Guilty. And so what? We're the same crowd who helped defend civil rights for African Americans

8. And just how do we do this?

9. Any citations on that?

10. Nope, no proof that the suicide rate among atheists is any higher that any else.

My, you're just a little kettle of bullshit, aren't you?

old comment by creativerealms

Okay I get the idea here, Atheists = kids rebelling against their parents, with that parent being God. That's what the comparison to Goth is all about. Still does not work.

I have yet to see an Atheists who actually defends Muslim Terrorists. Or even Muslims at all. Sure they will be defensive when someone like you tries to claim all Muslims are terrorists but most Atheists out there find Islam to be as harmful as Christianity if not worse. Honestly when many Atheists look at an Islamic nation they see what could happen if Christianity were to take over as to many of them there is not much of a difference.

Anwyay if I were to ask you to name an Atheist I'm sure your say Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, and Sam Harris, (As well as a communist dictator or two) yet if I were to ask you to make one Atheists who defends Islam you can't. Those three sure don't (Or didn't in Hitchen's case)

old comment by dionysus

1) I'm neither emo nor goth and neither are requirements for being an atheist. They're also not the same thing.

2) This is also not a requirement. However, some Christians give people plenty of things to bitch about. For example, when they try to make their religion the law.

3) Haven't seen anyone do that. I've seen atheists defending regular Muslims...oh wait, those are the same to you, aren't they?

4) Whine? The normal Christians don't bother me and fundies provide me with hours of entertainment. Keep talking, it makes you hilarious.

5) Raelians.

6) Ayn Rand is communist? Penn Gillette hates the Constitution?

7) And straight perverts. And gays that aren't perverts. Basically, we're saying someone's bedroom antics are none of your fucking business.

8) So why are these used so often in the Bible belt?

9) All atheists are required to be college staff?

10) Your money is just paper. Why don't you just give it all away? Hell, your own messiah even told you to do so.

Doesn't matter. Faith is more important than knowledge.

Even in the hyper-religious middle ages they'd have given their left leg to use the medical knowledge we have now. If faith is more important then why don't you move to Uganda? They have superior faith to the Western world. Their government is run on religion.

old comment by OHP

"1. Become an Emo Goth."

At the same time?

"2. ***** about Christians."

That's usually something we engage in after having our eyes opened, actually.

"3. Defend Islamic terrorists"

Why the hell would we defend another flavor of the exact same stupidity?

"4. Whine about Christian's free speech rights."

We do no such thing. We only get up in arms when your idea of "free speech" is the freedom to censor others' freedom of speech or expression. Like when you demand that books be banned because your own book told you to.

"5. Believe in the THEORY of evolution and the Big Bang THEORY."

That doesn't make you an atheist. That merely makes you borderline intelligent.

"6. Support Communism and hate the Constitution."

A) Communism is a form of government. Not a religious agenda. It's also perfectly within one's constitutional rights to support communism.
B) We're the ones constantly having to defend the Constitution from you knuckle-dragging throwbacks as you constantly attempt to either rewrite or simply ignore the parts you don't like.

"7. Defend homosexual perverts."

We defend the rights of all homosexuals, regardless of whether the ones in question at the moment are perverts. It's part of that whole "abiding the constitution" thing that you just alleged we don't do while insinuating that you, yourself do engage in.

"8. Fund the abortion, drug and porn industry."

Now you're thinking of Baptists (and, more generally, the bible belt). I'd point out that these are separate industries but you people are hopelessly incapable of understanding the concept of separation.

"9. Indoctrinate people into Communism in colleges."

No, that would be communists doing that. Did you hit your head or something? Like, repeatedly?

"10. Kill yourself because life has no meaning because it's just a bunch of chemicals and stuff."

About as wrong as you can get. Knowing that there's nothing after this doesn't make an even remotely sane individual rush to the grave. That's the kind of thing that nutjobs who believe in magic sky mansions for the living dead do.

old comment by Arctic Knight

1. Become an Emo Goth.
--I've never been Emo or Goth
2. ***** about Christians.
--"Laugh" about Xians? Yes, I do laugh about them.
3. Defend Islamic terrorists
--Nope, never have done that, in fact I fought against them.
4. Whine about Christian's free speech rights.
--I have defended the right of free speech for everyone, even Xians.
5. Believe in the THEORY of evolution and the Big Bang THEORY.
--I don't "believe" in either, I simply accept them for the facts they are based on the available evidence.
6. Support Communism and hate the Constitution.
--I've never supported communism and I have sworn to defend the Constitution.
7. Defend homosexual perverts.
--I will defend homosexuals as well as perverts (both gay and straight), so long as their intimate encounters remain consensual among adults.
8. Fund the abortion, drug and porn industry.
--I haven't knowingly funded any of those. I'm not opposed to any of them, but I have decided that helping the homeless is a higher priority for me.
9. Indoctrinate people into Communism in colleges.
--I've never indoctrinated anyone into anything.
10. Kill yourself because life has no meaning because it's just a bunch of chemicals and stuff.
--My life has a lot of meaning, family friends, love, etc. I decide what the meaning of my life is rather than following a meaning dictated by mythology.

old comment by Goomy pls

I'm more of an agnostic anyway but you'd consider me an atheist, so I'll try:

1. I am neither emo nor goth, and I find the subcultures a bit too gloomy for my liking.

2. Only Chri-stains who fail to follow Jesus's message of peace and love and that shit and instead follow warlike and hateful teachings of Paul.

3. I only defend those who aren't terrorists, but at least I do defend many Muslims who are innocent and unrelated to terrorist incidents.

4. I care about Christians' free speech rights (just look at my reactions to the situation with that woman in Sudan). But I also care about non-Christians' rights to free speech.

5. As opposed to the creationism MALFORMED NOT-EVEN-HYPOTHESIS? You're doing the word game wrong, by the dubz.

6. I support socialism (quite a bit different) and the Constitution. It's you who is trying to deny non-Christians constitutional rights.

7. As opposed to non-perverted homosexuals? "Perversion" is subjective.

8. Abortion is not an industry, and porn is not even a single monolithic industry. And I actually am very unsure if the legalisation of drugs will really have positive effects. So nyeh.

9. Kinda what your ilk does at BJ University and other diploma mills?

10. Ugh, this again. You MAKE your own meaning. You set the course for your own life. Just do it in a way that allows others to live out theirs to the fullest.

old comment by Rob aka Mediancat

1. Nope, never done that.
2. Only the ones who deserve it.
3. Nope.
4. Nope; criticizing a Christian who says dumb things is not whining about their free speech rights. Just to lety you know.
5. I'm sure you've had the differing definitions of theory explained to you multiple times, so I won't bother, but in any event, I don't "believe" in them, I accept them, because they've been proven. Unlike God.
6. Oh, come on. "Hate the constition?" Now you're just deliberately being ironic, right?
7. Nope. Because I realize, unlike you, that the phrase "homosexual pervert" isn't redundant, and homosexual perverts (read: people who have engaged in genuine nonconsensual criminal behavior) get no defense from me.)
8. Nope. I support the first and third's right to exist, and have mixed feelings on the second, but I've never funded any of them.
9. Communism ain't atheism. Atheism ain't communism. of course, to you, anything to the left of Glenn Beck probably qualifies as communism.
10. Nope. This life's all I have; why would I want to leave it? On the other hand, you've got paradise waiting for you, supposedly, so why don't you die?

old comment by Anon-e-moose

Ooh, I love questionnaires II!:

1- In my youth, I was into Heavy Metal. Long hair, Jeans, denim jacket, bullet belt, badges pinned/patches sewed on said denim jacket pertaining to my favourite metal groups. Not Emo.

2- Sorry, I don't understant 'Asterisk'. But I've read most - if not all of - Goscinny & Uderzo's 'bandes desinees', "Asterix the Gaul"; my fave being "Asterix and Cleopatra". ]Not Emo II.

3- I hate Al-Qaeda. Three numbers: 7/7. Hating Islameists: by definition, Not Emo III.

4- That's your department: as proven by this quote here in FSTDT, otherwise you wouldn't have even thought of saying such. Christain Fundieism: IS Emo.

5- Evolution is proved; Darwinius massilae & Ardipithecus; the 'Missing Links' found; also we humans sharing at least 98% of our DNA with Chimpanzees. Thus Darwin was proved right all along. As is the Big Bang; those behind that 'theory' all but awarded that Nobel Prize. Facts, backed up by evidence. Not Emo IV.

6- I live in the UK. Your argument is immediately annihilated. Not Emo V.

7- And [i]you[/i] defend infinitely worse Your point? Romans 13:1-5. 10th Amendment. How can something - between consenting adults - be 'perverted'? What's your problem with it, personally?! Fundie Christain bigotry: IS Emo II.

8- Hobby Lobby, with it's investing in a company that makes contraceptives including the 'Morning After Pill'. Fundie Christain hypocrisy: IS Emo III.

9- Indoctrinate people into Fundieism in colleges. Fundie Christain hypocrisy II: IS Emo IV.

10- Fundies always say that 'they are not of this world that they are in'; 'Suicide is a Sin' is purely Catholic doctrine, which is anathema to Protestants. You lot claim there is an 'Afterlife' that you'll go to, because you're Saved, regardless of what you say/do/think, due to 'OSAS'. Don't have much faith in your Faith then; every secod you're not killing yourself, because you hate this world as you always say, you only prove that - if anything - you fundies are more Atheist than we Atheists: you love this world too much to just remove yourselves from it: NOW.

Nah, I like living too much (Thus Not Emo VI).

As do you lot, otherwise what's stopping you lot from proving me wrong: NOW?

No, mm'kay Kay, you are the Emos.

And then mm'kay Kay & her fundie ilk continued to whine like them.

old comment by Nemo

1. I refuse to be goth, and I doubt you even know what a goth is.
2. Ok.
3. I despise the vile religion of Islam, and I maintain that any self proclaimed Muslim who is not a violent psychopath is either a liar or doesn't understand their faith at all. Mostly the second one.
4. I don't really care about what Phil Robertson said one way or another.
5. You don't know what a theory is.
6. Ayn Rand. Your argument is invalid.
7. Since you define pervert differently than most people, I'll say ok.
8. No, Christians do that just fine.
9. See number 6.
10. Not sure what the suicide rates are, but I've noticed most people on this site are not dead yet.

Citation needed on those last points. It's been the End Times ever since the Book of Daniel was forged.

old comment by emau99

I get that this is a petty little "shit list" of traits that you're trying to pin on atheists, and that you intended this more as a bunch of zingers than as a real argument, but I'll go ahead and answer it.

1) I'm not an emo goth, and none--repeat, none--of the atheists that I know are.
2) I bitch about Christians because they have no justification for their beliefs, yet insist on trying to force them on others, frequently by abusing a government that was intended to remain neutral on the subject. When that is no longer the case, I'll stop bitching about them. Until then, it's game on.
3) Please cite an example of atheists defending Islamic terrorists.
4) I do not have a problem with your freedom of speech. Do you have a problem with mine (Fuck Jesus)?
5) Yeah. So what?
6) Atheism /= communism, you'd do well to understand the difference.
7) Gays have rights, too. Your bigotry doesn't change that. I suggest that you learn to deal with it.
8) You do realize that Christians spend money on all 3 of those things, too, right?
9) Bullshit. Speaking of indoctrination, how was Sunday school last weekend?
10) My life has whatever meaning I decide to give to it. The fact that you don't seem to give it much meaning says volumes about you.

old comment by Evgir Unslaad

This is all just standard stuff, but number ten. Number ten pisses me off.

Do you know what it's like to be suicidal? Do you know what it's like to feel like there's no meaning in your life? Do you know what it's like to feel nothing, absolutely nothing ever, to be so apathetic and empty that you want to die, all because of a purely physical problem in the brain?

No. No, you don't.

Do you know what it's like to recover with the help of medical science? Do you know what it's like to look at the world without a veil of cynical, emotionless ennui for the first time since you were thirteen years old? Do you know what it's like to enjoy your life again, to find MEANING? Your own meaning, what you want to do, what you enjoy?

No, you don't!

You don't even know what "meaningless" means.

And you don't know what "meaningful" means, either.

old comment by Zachski

"How to be an Atheist"

Oh boy, I've been looking for that handboo-- and it's just a fundie bitching.

"1. Become an Emo Goth."

Goths tend to be more wiccan, satanist than atheist. Of course, they also tend to be Christian just like anyone else.

"2. ***** about Christians."

Did you mean: Bitch about reactionary conservative fundamentalists that push people to believe in their specific fairy tales?

"3. Defend Islamic terrorists"

I see no atheist defending Islamic terrorists. Defending oppressed people who are oppressed simply because they are the "wrong" religion, however? Yes, I see that. Note that they can do this while criticizing Islam, as well.

"4. Whine about Christian's free speech rights."

Did you mean: Defending the free speech rights of all people who Christianity has oppressed?

"5. Believe in the THEORY of evolution and the Big Bang THEORY."

You are confusing theory and hypothesis. Go back to school.

"6. Support Communism and hate the Constitution."

What does this have to do with atheism?

"7. Defend homosexual perverts."

Did you mean: Defend human rights?

"8. Fund the abortion, drug and porn industry."

Who pays for porn? Idiots, that's who.

"9. Indoctrinate people into Communism in colleges."

What

"10. Kill yourself because life has no meaning because it's just a bunch of chemicals and stuff."

I would argue that atheists place more value in life than Christians do. After all, Christians are saving up all of their fun for the life after this, a life that may not even exist, while atheists are enjoying the only life they know they have.

"Doesn't matter. Faith is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is worthless in the End Times."

It's rather telling that you fear knowledge and education. It means that you NEED ignorance to keep people in your cult.

"Also it's the Atheists who have more drug problems and most Atheists had bad childhoods. No wonder Atheists hate family values and promote drugs and lesbianism!"

I'm pretty sure this is bullshit. Also, states with high religiosity and conservative populations also have the highest teen pregnancy rates, as well as general STD rates.

Turns out, keeping people ignorant about sex makes them make mistakes.

old comment by TimeToTurn

How to be an Atheist

Yes! Atheist bashing quotes! All you missed was opening your post with "Atheists,".

1. Become an Emo Goth.

Hot Topic, Richard Dawkins, it's all the same to me.

2. ***** about Christians.

'Kay

3. Defend Islamic terrorists

I'm guessing your definition of an Islamic terrorist is anyone who has brown skin, and isn't a Mexican. No, you probably include Mexicans in there too.

4. Whine about Christian's free speech
rights.

I'm glad all atheists do is whine, because when Christians complain about atheists' free speech rights, it usual involves vandalism and other criminal activities.

5. Believe in the THEORY of evolution and the Big Bang THEORY.

I don't believe in it, I accept it as much as I accept an apple falls if I drop it or rain is evaporated water falling from the sky.

6. Support Communism and hate the Constitution.

Touching on every trope here, are we? Is this the same Constitution which opens with lines including the phrase "promote the general Welfare"? Sorry, Jesus wasn't a free market capitalist. He was pretty damn radical, so I'd expect he'd probably find a lot to approve of in communism.

Oh, what about liberation theology? That's pretty damn Christian, and is pretty damn communist too.

7. Defend homosexual perverts.

Oh noes, someone likes the same gender!

8. Fund the abortion, drug and porn industry.

Ideally abortions would be subsidised by the government. Atheist men can't fund abortion, they can only help women fund it. And most men also get their porn for free online. Growing your own pot or synthesising your own ecstasy, LSD, DMT--it can all be done with minimal funding of druggies.

9. Indoctrinate people into Communism in colleges.

What a sad and tired myth. At most colleges you'll probably find more libertarians than actual communists.

10. Kill yourself because life has no meaning because it's just a bunch of chemicals and stuff.

If heaven is such a great place, and you know you're going there, why don't you kill yourself?

Doesn't matter. Faith is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is worthless in the End Times.

Poe lololololololololololol

old comment by Morningstar

1. Conflating two different subcultures with each other and atheism. Yeah no.

2. That alone does not an aethis make. Bhuddists, Pagans, Jews, Islamics and even other Christians bitch about Christians (specifically fundies)

3. Don't remember atheists defending terrorists

4. as a strong adherent to free speech right and more importantly a sane indiviusl. I say you have a right to speak what BS you wnat but others will refute and it is their right to do so.

5. You know that there's evidence for these theories right?

6. Please. Many fundies would love to eschew the Constitution and people rights and lead theocratic dictatorships. Likewise many athiests would like to keep the Constitution unchanged (or at least not changed to the point where it undermines its own principles) poltics is a different axix from religion

7. Homosecuals, yes because we believe that they are entitles to equal rights, same with African Americans and women.

8. Yeah because all Christians are totally straightedge and would never devolve into sin in hypocrisy /sarcasm

9. I'm pretty sure colleges don't indoctrinate people into anything. Bible-thimping homeschoolers on the other hand...

10. Okay Not all Atheists are Nihilists Like politics, philosophy is a separate axis

Final word: I'd say the reverse is true, knowledge is more necessary in Apocalypse for survival and blind faith would sooner get you killed than at the other side of that tunnel.

“How to be an Atheist
Become an Emo Goth.”
Guess i’m not an atheist, then, and haven’t been for my entire life.

“***** about Christians.”
Does * mean ‘make fun of English speakers who are afraid of some words?
Why bother to make a point if you have to hide the salient detail?

“Defend Islamic terrorists”
No, sweetie, YOU guys prejudicially lump all people from certain countries or certain faiths as terrorists, we just point out that you’re being a bigoted little bitch-ass idiot.

"Whine about Christian's free speech rights.”
Isn’t #2, above, you whining about ATHEISTS’ right to free speech? Grow the fuck up, wiener.

“Believe in the THEORY of evolution and the Big Bang THEORY.”
Oh, look, a PRATT! Much surprise.
Dork.

"Support Communism and hate the Constitution.”
From people like you, ‘communism’ is a meaningless term for anything that makes you share with fellow humans. And the only part of the Constitution you actually carea bout is the 2nd Amendment.

"Defend homosexual perverts.”
Gay right support =/= atheism.
This is just a list of everything you hate, all lumped together, innit?

"Kill yourself because life has no meaning because it's just a bunch of chemicals and stuff.”
One day you might learn what atheism actually is. We’ll wait.

"Faith is more important than knowledge.”
He said after he prayed and prayed and got internet access as manna from Heaven.

“Knowledge is worthless in the End Times.”
Gotta ask how you know this?

“Also it's the Atheists who have more drug problems”
Atheists are more honest on those surveys.

“and most Atheists had bad childhoods.”
And you got THIS knowledge from….?

How to be a Christian

1. Become a prep square.

2. ***** about Atheists.

3. Defend Nazi terrorists

4. Whine about Atheist’s free speech rights.

5. Believe in the MYTH of Eden and the Son of God MYTH.

6. Support Fascism and hate the Constitution.

7. Defend hypocritical perverts.

8. Fund the fake news, gun and medical industry.

9. Indoctrinate people into Fascism in sunday school and homeschooling.

10. Die of preventable disease because prayer is so much more powerful than so-called science, and even if you die, that’s what God has decreed and dying just means getting to your crowns and beautiful mansions in Heaven sooner.

Kaykay #fundie answers.yahoo.com

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