My doctor is threatening me now. He has twice so far refused to be my doctor anymore unless I subject myself to other medical treatments, which I have already undergone, which were worthless, and didn't help me at all. It's a big racket! Now they want me to subject myself to physical therapy AGAIN. I suffered through 5 months of that torture and nonsense. They gave me an electric battery-powered box that buzzes on my neck, as a pain alternative. I THREW IT INTO MY GARBAGE PAIL WHERE IT BELONGS! I paid $100 for that crap! That is the insanity of doctors today! Kindly, they surely do earn the derogatory title of QUACKS! Another doctor sent me to a chiropractor, who handed me a donut-shaped magnet to hang around my neck, to help alleviate my pain. THAT WENT INTO MY GARBAGE PAIL TOO, WHERE IT BELONGS! Magnets don't alleviate chronic pain! You're an idiot if you think it does, as much as the idiot doctor who insults you by handing it to you in the first place. Folks, nothing helps alleviate pain like good ole pain medications, which is why GOD GAVE US OPIUM! Is that so hard to figure out? The people dying from opioids are ABUSING DRUGS AND ALCOHOL! That is how actor Heath Ledger died in 2008, from illegally taking a cocktail of prescription drugs that he had no business taking!

Anyway, it's difficult just to get by from day-to-day. It all comes from my neck. I am sick of all this crap from the doctors. I will get street drugs if they cut my medications. I'll move wherever I need too to obtain them. As I type, the toothache-like pain in my neck is terrible and there's nothing I can do. The pain radiates into my facial area. The dull, aching, pain behind my eyes is awful. The entire facial area is sore. In 2011, I was taking 160 mg per day of prescription Oxycontin for chronic pain, and no one complained at all!!! Now in 2019, they've got me down to 80 mg per day and they're still complaining. I don't know how much more of this I can take!

People just don't understand. I try to force myself to go places and do things, but it is difficult. I feel overwhelmed. I look fine outwardly, but inwardly I am physically hurting horribly. My wife cruelly abandoned and divorced me 13 years ago, and I seriously doubt if I'll ever have a girlfriend or be married again, because I cannot find a wife anywhere. I have looked high and low, but there is no one. And of course, she would have to be someone that can get along with me, not a sassy brat with a big mouth, who thinks she knows it all, like my x-wife. Proverbs 31:10-12, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. I once found such a woman, at Hyles-Anderson College, but she married another man, and it haunts me to this day. She was voted Miss Highlander, but I foolishly didn't reach out to her. The curse of my life has been my fear of simply telling others how I feel. If you understand that, you'll then understand why I have such a big mouth in cyberspace, I am tired of being silent. I have something to say now! I have never been blessed with a Proverbs 31 wife. Most women today are a Genesis 3 woman, destroying her own family.