This is something which crosses my mind a lot. I'm actually bewildered at how the kuffar have so much zeal and enthusiasm for living, what do they live for, seriously? I mean when I have days of low Imaan and feel stressed, and feel distant from Allah, I almost have a nervous breakdown. This happens when I fall into sins and the like. I feel lost, confused and I begin to hate life altogether. I just hate life sometimes.

It's cause I've been through many trials in my childhood which I'd prefer not to disclose on here very much. Some days I feel so depressed, and annoyed and just, words can't describe. Sometimes I feel like death is better than living . But then when I regain my Imaan alhamdualilah, I feel better .

But I just sometimes ponder , what worth do the kuffar have to live for? Nothing. Literally. When I feel distant from Allah, nothing ever brings me happiness except to Return to Him. Yet when I see the kuffar, I think: when you wake up in the morning, what do you live for? You don't even say a word of praise to God for even allowing you to wake up. How do you even progress through life's trials?

SubhanAllahil atheem! Ajeeb!