I’ll bite the bullet and admit that I think most women basically don’t have agency in the same way that men do, that they prefer to live their lives without the agency that men have, and that this is basically a Good Thing. The problem is reordering the world to insist that women have just as much agency as men when you’re unlikely to get them to actually act like they do. The majority of happily married men that I know basically take what amounts to a traditional head of household approach to how things are run - the man made the move in the relationship, made the decision to step to marriage, made the decision on buying a house, and makes many small decisions such as where to go to dinner. Of course, they want input from their wives and treat the decision-making process as being substantially predicated on making their wives happy, but they also certainly behave as though they know that their wives don’t want to make these decisions. Of note, these are not stay at home tradwives - I’m thinking of scientists, attorneys, IT professionals, and other high-agency careers women that would really prefer their husbands make calls.

Of course, pretty much none of them will phrase it that way, but it is what it is.