So, I'm sitting here in Iowa, watching the local nightly news.
First story, an overview of all the "happy" gay couples who were married in my state today.
Second story, the ever increasing spreading of the swine flu.
Third story, damage assessment of the tornadoes that struck nearby counties last night.
These people are staring Biblical prophecies straight in the face and remain completely clueless, and it really concerns me.
I would love for the rapture to occur at any time, but at the same time I have no desire to leave any one here in this world when the time comes to depart.
What's a believer to do? Time to get on my knees.
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These people are staring Biblical prophecies straight in the face and remain completely clueless, and it really concerns me.
Nothing strange about any of this.
H1N1 and other variants like H1N5 will surface from time to time and evolve into more resistant strains. Nothing new or unexpected here.
Happy gay couples? Yeah that is a nightmare, we don't want people to be happy, do we?
What's a believer to do? Time to get on my knees.
Ready for sex, as always! Good fundie!
Three events that have no relation whatsoever. You sure proved your god's wrath for homosexuality!
You guys dislike Obama so much. Maybe his election is part of God's wrath towards the fundies for the enaction of Prop 8 in California.
First story, an overview of all the "happy" gay couples who were married in my state today.
Nice use of quotation marks there. They only think they're happy; you know better.
Second story, the ever increasing spreading of the swine flu.
Only in places that have allowed same-sex marriage.
Third story, damage assessment of the tornadoes that struck nearby counties last night.
Tornadoes were completely unknown in the Midwest before.
"So, I'm sitting here in Iowa..."
And right there and then, I knew this would be from RR...
So, before gays got married in Iowa there were never tornados there and there was no flu virus? Oh, there were ... So you were saying?
"Time to get on my knees."
Oh yeah, who are you blowing?
"What's a believer to do? Time to get on my knees."
That's a good fundie. Get on your knees and swallow that Jesus juice that your preacher rams down your throat. Remember Gagging means your not embracing that Jesus load.
So, was the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic part of end-times prophecy too? How about the Black Death? People thought that that was a sign of the end of the world too.
@Pashal Wagner:
God's punishment system is kind of like the teacher who makes all of the kids stay in detention until they rat out the one who stole all the erasers; God starts punishing people haphazardly until they get together and destroy everyone who's making God angry.
These guys blamed Hurricane Katrina (a hurricane in the Gulf?) and Santa Ana winds on the wrath of God. What next, an earthquake in California? Mt. Redoubt, a volcano in Alaska? A miserable New England winter?
Time to get on your knees... and suck a hard one in a public toilet?
Oh, you meant praying. Well, gays are still getting married and neither swine flu nor tornadoes have vanished. Your prayers don't seem to have any effect... it's almost like there's nobody listening to them. Yeah.
So happy newlyweds, a new strain of Influenza, and a few tornadoes are signs of The End...
And here I thought that was society taking a step forward, evolution in action, and, well, dude, they're tornadoes -- not exactly uncommon.
It is the nature of a flu virus to spread. Just like the common cold, but with possible deadlier effects.
Tornadoes have been striking nearby counties for decades, you nitwit.
None of these events have anything to do with same sex couples getting married.
Oh, what an ass.
Cum quickly, lord Jesus!
I wonder if he realizes how many generations before him have also thought every desease, tornado, flood, etc was a sign that the end is nigh.
Yeah, God knew on March 23 that the Iowa Supreme Court would strike down anti gay marriage laws, so in His usual "punish a bunch of random bystanders" fashion, He trashed some houses and barns with tornadoes in Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska and Iowa.
Then the Iowa Supreme Court decision came down on April 3rd. God said "The best way to house-train a dog is, when he goes on the floor, beat the hell out of him a week later while he's sleeping peacefully at the foot of the bed. Same with humans. If I hit 'em with a tornado now, it'll be obvious I'm punishing them for legalizing gay marriage. So I'll wait a few weeks.
He waited until April 26 and wrecked a few campers' trailers. But Faulty was too clever for God. He saw right away that the tornadoes were divine punishment for legalizing gay marriage.
Now if he can explain why a year earlier, a tornado ran through an Iowa Boy Scout camp and killed some kids in that notoriously anti-gay organization ...
without even reading the rest of it, "So, I'm sitting here in Iowa...".
uh oh... this can't end well.
Well, I'm sitting here in Kansas, proud to have been born an Iowan because of this momentous occasion, mildly concerned that swine flu has reached my current state of residence, and accustomed to tornadoes being a common occurrence in both states this time of year.
Life is about ups and downs, celebrating the joys and getting through the tough times, not about Biblical prophecies, getting your panties in a twist over what consenting adults are doing in the privacy of their own home or wasting your life away waiting for an event that will never happen.
What's a person, believer or otherwise to do? Get out and live a little, and make the most of every precious moment we have on this planet.
Isn't it funny watching your bigotry and control fall to ruin, Faulty? no? well, I disagree!
Swine Flu is NOTHING to worry about my man, humanity was wiped out years ago by SARS didn't you know?
Oh wow, wind, that's certainly....uh...normal?
I suggest you and your RR cohorts give up on the rest of us and drink the Kool-Aid already.
What biblical prophecies? Don’t tell me there is the Gospel According to Faulty. On second thought, that could be rather humorous. The Faulty Gospel written by a faulty author. Or could it be that the entire original work was faulty to begin with, due to all of the contradictions.
“First story, an overview of all the "happy" gay couples who were married in my state today.”
“Third story, damage assessment of the tornadoes that struck nearby counties last night. “
“I would love for the rapture to occur at any time, but at the same time I have no desire to leave any one here in this world when the time comes to depart.”
:byewhore:
"God has the aim of a Stormtrooper. A *drunk* Stormtrooper..."
Since Stormtroopers already have the aim of a drunkard, wouldn't it be logical that a drunk Stormtrooper's aim would be so bad that they actually cross the line to good aim?
"Second story, the ever increasing spreading of the swine flu.
Third story, damage assessment of the tornadoes that struck nearby counties last night.
These people are staring Biblical prophecies straight in the face and remain completely clueless, and it really concerns me. "
I'll spell it out for you then. God is smiting you for opposing marriage. These things are punishment for not allowing gays to get married. Or maybe because the bible belt is not catholic.
Doug said: "Funny how the swine flu this time comes from Mexico, where there is no gay marriage."
Well, they say the lord works in mysterious ways.
So compared to the Dark Ages when the black death was killing off a full third of Europe's population and there was near constant war between the various nations there and it was perfectly acceptable for those in power to slaughter their own people if they felt like it.
Why do people not see that the world is BETTER now than it use to be, NOT worse?
> First story, an overview of all the "happy" gay couples who were married in my state today.
Bah! We got several Ebola cases and a giant honkin' SARS outbreak during the Bush administration. And John F. Kennedy was assassinated by the disgruntled Republicans because he single-handedly ended the Swedish smallpox epidemic in summer 1963!
Thanks for taking it easy on Iowa in this thread. The scary thing is, I would say there is a good 10% chance this was written by my next door neighbour. Needless to say, we don't talk politics/religion much. However, I did like that vacant stare he got when he talked about McCain...
So which people stared the Biblical prophecies straight in the face at the time of the Black Death? The ones who thought that diseases where traveling from person to person, instead of diseases being evil winds or punishments from God, as the States said then?
No rapture at that time though, you might have to wait another 800 years. So get comfy...
"... an overview of all the "happy" gay couples who were married in my state today."
Why do you place quotes around the word "happy?" Only they know whether they're happy; you don't.
As I write this, the H1N1 "swine" flu has yet to appear in Iowa. Furthermore, it apparently originated in central Mexico, about 1,500 miles from Iowa. Are you accusing your god of such gross incompetence as to cause a disease epidemic in the wrong country?
As though tornadoes had never occurred in the Midwest before Iowa allowed marriage equality? Actually most tornadoes take place to the south of you, in the lower midwestern states where marriage equality is banned by law.
No comment... that one's too easy.
Ohhh! Because your god punishes the whole world because ONE state from ONE country lets two men marry.
Why exactly are we supposed to adore this evil demon god, again?
Strange, here in Europe we have had gay marriages and partnership ceremonies and blessings for years and years, and no tornados at all. The swine flu is not that rampant either, a few cases here, a few there. Fewer than 10000 around the world has been diagnosed with confirmed or possible swine flu.
"First story, an overview of all the "happy" gay couples who were married in my state today"
"Time to get on my knees"
>What this fundie is complaining about
Freud was right about you lot.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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