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You’re looking at an archive of the most hilarious, bizarre, ignorant, bigoted, and terrifying quotes from fundies all over the internet.

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Anna Deihl #fundie blogs.christianpost.com

[about how to respond to a teenaged son turning away from the faith; links and bold original]

Once you have put your fears into words, the next step is to identify the beliefs behind the fears. All fears are based on certain assumptions. Let’s look at the assumptions the [following] statements are making about God.

#1: I’m afraid that my son might not really be saved after all and that he might end up in Hell.

If souls spend their entire lives refusing to submit to Jesus as their God and Savior, they will certainly end up in Hell when they die–this is a very important truth that many of us try not to think about. But whenever we find God’s truths having an oppressive effect on us, it’s an indication that other false beliefs are getting added to the mix.

If we really understood God’s priorities, we wouldn’t think there is anything sad about souls ending up in Hell for an eternity. Hell is not a bummer to God, it’s a glorious thing. God will not be mocked. He delights in justice. He delights in revenge (see Why God Loves Hell). But while God thoroughly enjoys thrashing His enemies, He is also extremely gracious, kind, patient, and merciful. Before condemning us to Hell, God gives us plenty of chances to come to Him. He educates us about who He is and what He wants. He makes sure we have the internal resources we need to meet His demands for reverential submission (see The Salvation Process: Understanding the Fairness of God). If we really saw how incredibly gracious God is towards every soul and if we were really loving God first, then we would feel furious at seeing souls continue to spit in His face for their entire lives and we would celebrate their demise. Being aligned with God means caring about HIS feelings more than we care about the comfort of created things. Being loyal to God means wanting Him to be revered and honored by every human soul.

When the idea of a loved one ending up in Hell makes us feel burdened, sad, and miserable, what we’re often trying to do is one of two things: either we’re trying to share grief that we think God is feeling, or we are mourning for ourselves because we think the loss of our loved one will permanently cripple us. Neither of these things is true. God is not mourning when souls end up in Hell, and we aren’t going to spend eternity pining for the people who didn’t make it to Heaven. We were designed to be fully satisfied by our Creators in eternity. Relating with other created beings is going to be a nice extra, but relating to our Gods will be what really makes our souls feel complete. God has designed Heaven in such a way that you will not miss anyone who isn’t there. In the worst case scenario, if you ended up in Heaven but your child did not, you would not miss him at all. You would not be sad, you would not feel incomplete, you would not be haunted by memories from earth. God has taken care of all of these issues and He promises that for those who submit to Him on earth, Heaven will be a place of eternal joy. Your peace today will come from focusing on the fact that all is well between you and God. If your son is choosing to defy God, that’s something he needs to work out with the Holy Spirit.

#2: I’m afraid that my son is heading down a path that will make his life miserable. I’m afraid I won’t be able to deal with the heartache that will cause.

This fear assumes that your happiness in this life is dependent on teen’s current circumstances. If your son is sad, you must be sad. If he’s happy, you can be happy. Well, no, you are not dependent on your son. Being a good parent doesn’t mean you have to revolve around your teen and let him control your state of mind. God is your center in life, not your child. God is your all-sufficient Provider who is with you every day and guiding all of your steps. You never need to fear future trials, nor should you anticipate them. You just want to take one day at a time and focus on the fact that God is with you.

Your son is not alone in this universe with only you to guide him. God is your son’s true Father–you’re just a temporary caretaker who God has called in to be a witness for Him in your child’s life. It is an enormous privilege to be trusted with the care of another human soul, but God doesn’t just abandon you on the job. He is right there with you–guiding your steps, and leading you in the care of HIS soul. You don’t have to have all of the answers because you know the One who does. You don’t have to see into the future or be able to anticipate problems. If God wanted your teen to only have a perfect parent, He would have never gotten you or any other human guardian involved in your teen’s life. But it pleased God to have you–an imperfect, fallen human being–to work with Him as He raises HIS son. The pressure isn’t on you in this situation, it’s on God. God is the only One who can illuminate a soul with truth and give him a desire to do what is right. You can present your child with wisdom that God gives you, but you can’t reach into your child’s mind and make him value righteousness–that’s God’s job. You don’t want to try and take on God-sized responsibilities or you’ll end up feeling like a total failure.

#3: I’m afraid my son’s rebellion indicates I’m failing as a parent in some way. I’m afraid God is angry with me for not living up to His demands.

God doesn’t expect or want perfection from you. God wants your total submission. God wants you to ask Him to have His total way in your life, and then TRUST that He will. God is not going to dump a bunch of vague guilt trips on you. If there’s something specific He wants you to do or say in this situation, He will tell you. TRUST is the key here–you need to trust that your Father is good, kind, loving, and on your side. He is not going to let you miss His cues and then rage at you for failing. He is not going to demand things from you that He knows you don’t have. Every parent makes mistakes. All parents lose their tempers, make bad judgment calls, and do things that they wish they could undo. This is where you need to remember that God is gracious and He judges you by your soul’s desire to please Him.

Okay, so how should you pray for your teen during this time? You shouldn’t. You need to pray for yourself instead, because the fact that you’re stressing over this tells you there are weak points in your own trust. God is already taking the best possible care of your son, and He will continue to do so regardless of what advice you give Him. God doesn’t want you to tell Him how to do His job. He is already the perfect Father–you want to give Him room to work and honor Him with your trust in His goodness, wisdom, and methods.

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JamesSmith61 #fundie blogs.christianpost.com

There is no real "debate." A true debate has legitimate arguments on both sides. There is only one legitimate argument here. Islam is of Satan. Muslims follow Islam. Therefore Muslims are disciples of Satan. They are the enemy of Western culture, society, and civilization. Thus no Muslim should be allowed entry to the US for any reason and all non US citizen Muslims should have their visas revoked and deported. Get on with it.

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Todd Friel #fundie blogs.christianpost.com

There are two groups of people who should not be shocked to discover that a member of the Duggar family is a sinner: Christians and non-Christians. Surprisingly, both camps seemed to be surprised by this revelation.

That is what makes the Josh Duggar story a disaster.

Christian surprise

The subject line from an email sent by a popular Christian website stated: “Christian world rocked.” Really?

Based on his own admission, Josh sinned, repented and got saved. Why in the world would Christians be appalled to discover an unregenerate 14-year-old boy acted wickedly?

According to Josh himself, “I sought forgiveness from those I had wronged and asked Christ to forgive me and come into my life.” Sounds like a pretty typical conversion story to me.

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.

Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God (I Cor.6:9-11).

Have we forgotten that the Apostle Paul was a murderer before God saved him?

It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all. Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life (I Tim.1:15-16).

Josh is no worse than the Apostle Paul. Josh should not be shunned by Christians; he should be comforted by Christians who are just as wicked and just as forgiven as he is. Josh is nothing more, and nothing less, than a story of God’s amazing grace.

Non-Christian Surprise

Here is the headline from the magazine that decided to go rooting though Josh’s closet: “Bombshell Duggar Police Report.”

This might be the bigger tragedy of the Josh Duggar story: unbelievers consider it a bombshell when it is discovered that a Christian has a shameful past. This ought not to be.

If we Christians were doing our job proclaiming that the Gospel is for sinners, of whom we are the foremost, the world would yawn when it discovered that Josh was a hound dog.

If Christians were as loud about the Gospel as we are about being the moral majority, I suspect there would be five results:

1. Unbelievers would not see Josh Duggar as a hypocrite; they would see him as a typical born-again believer who is forgiven by an amazingly gracious God.

2. Unbelievers would not see Christians as a mere special interest group that seeks to impose values on other people.

3. The Gospel would be shining brightly.

4. Somebody might get saved.

5. Josh Duggar and his family would be going about their business today as a typical Christian family saved by grace alone.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem that any of those things are happening. I don’t blame the world; I blame us.

Is it possible we have become so obsessed with imposing our values on unbelievers that the world sees us as self-righteous Pharisees and not as blood-washed sinners?

Have we been so consumed by the culture wars that we have failed to engage in the spiritual battle for souls?

A Gospel Opportunity

Josh tendered his resignation to the Family Research Council and they accepted it. While none of us know all of the details, if Josh were in my employ, I would not have accepted his resignation.

I would have shouted from the rooftops, “If you think Josh is wicked, you should meet the rest of us! That is why we are Christians! We need forgiveness for being wretched, vile, wicked rebels. If you are a rebel too, Jesus died for you! Run to Jesus! Join the wretched club.”

Let’s not squander this opportunity to share the great good news that Jesus died for perverts, liars, thieves, drunkards, abortionists, Wall Street fat cats, skid row bums, suburban housewives, blue collar workers and every sinner who will come to Him in repentance and faith.

Josh Duggar’s story is more than a Gospel tragedy; it is a Gospel opportunity. Don’t waste it.

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diandjohn #fundie blogs.christianpost.com

The increasing display of body piercings could well be a ploy of Satan. I say this because in Revelation 13 we read of the Mark of the Beast. The Greek word for 'Mark' is charagmah and means tattoo among other things.. Encouraging young people to have a tottoo is an excellent way to condition them to receive the mark of the beast without question.. The use of tattoos is widely used in cattle ID stamps which employ coloured visible and invisible inks. The tattoos have RFID capabilities, and an American Company called 'So-Mark' have developed this tattoo.Another huge problem with tattos is that some use inks with metalic properties, and if someone needed an MRI scan, the doctors would be forced to refuse life saving treatment, because the metal properties will cause great pain to anyone with one of these tattos.The Bible say that those who receive the mark of the beast will suffer great pains and sores. Could this be the reason why tattoos should be avoided? .. It's food for thought.

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Michael Bresciani #fundie blogs.christianpost.com

While Vlad was a murderer in real life who impaled his enemies on stakes, he became a legend after death. Millions have been thrilled by the stories of Count Dracula made popular by novelist Bram Stoker. Most great evil figures are not so lucky. Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin and others are known today mostly for their acts of barbarism and genocide.

History may not be so kind to Barack Obama. He is a gay enabler who with a few well-chosen words has dismissed mostly the entire bible except the Sermon on the Mount and has abandoned civilizations longest standing sanctified, God given ordinance – the marriage of one man and one woman.

What will we put in his presidential library? If someday his real birth certificate is found and a release of his school transcripts is made, they may be on display, but who will come to the library other than a few democrats and liberals and those of the LGBT persuasion? Will a West Virginia coal miner darken the door or someone who lost their health coverage and their trusted doctor?

Being the most active and highest ranking politician in history to wholeheartedly support abortions it is not impossible to imagine a presidential library haunted by the ghosts of millions of aborted children. They were impaled and worse on the scalpels and devices of doctors no less terrible than Vlad the Impaler.

Barack Obama has appointed activist judges, refused to defend DOMA, and in general has made great strides in popularizing the perverted in America. He is both an enabler and a child of error according to the scriptures that he has dismissed.

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Michael Bresciani #fundie blogs.christianpost.com

For upwards of 38 years I have warned that America is heading for a fiscal fall that will make the old crash of ‘29’ look mild by comparison. In the last ten years, I have written numerous articles and reports that give warning about America’s continuation of the abortion genocide and our wholesale entrance into the realms of prurient interests and gross perversion.

The message was appendaged with a warning about a dirge of poverty and scarcity. Today that message has seen its entrance with Obama’s healthcare spectacle looming against America’s wealth and posing the single greatest threat to our fiscal stability since the stock market crash and the days of the great dust bowl.

A reduction in the average income per household, shrinking jobs markets, shorter work weeks and now huge increases in healthcare costs are only the beginning.

The horror stories already coming out of the ObamaCare inauguration are being called ‘mis-information’ by the President, but the dullest minds can see that the facts don’t jibe with the Obama diatribe repeatedly offered to counter what we are all seeing unfurl before our very eyes.

What we know is that America has not been listening to the messages of warnings from her best voices. What we should know is that God is not so hard of hearing.

God hears the cries of the nearly sixty million slaughtered unborn human beings who were discarded like so much useless refuse. He hears the cries of those distraught with the breaking down of foundational principles like marriage between one man and one woman. He hears the outcry against the full acceptance and coddling of perversions and porn.

He has done today, what he did in the ancient times, he has measured out a three pronged appeal over a sufficient amount of time (a generation) and he is now entering into stage three. When the three appeals are finished, all that is left is judgment or a chance for us to repent and set the record straight once again. It is the last gas on this road before our little journey comes to an inglorious ending.

The three appeals call first to the head, secondly to the heart and finally to the wallet.

For years I have proclaimed that Americans are capable of justifying any trend that comes along, but when you touch the pocketbook you will get their attention. While it may be far too late to rectify this problem it may produce a new direction for many – quite long overdue.

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Michael Youssef #fundie blogs.christianpost.com

On February 5, Britain’s House of Commons voted in favor of legalizing gay marriage. The vote is extremely alarming. It could signal the beginning of the end for Western civilization as we know it.

The idea of same-sex marriage is troubling even to some homosexuals, let alone those who hold a biblical conviction that marriage is intended by the Creator to be between a man and a woman.

The vote, which was 400-175, represented a major crack in the Conservative Party. More than half of its 303 members voted against or abstained from the measure. Prime Minister David Cameron may go down in history as the man who hammered the last nail in the Conservative Party coffin.

…

The hope now lies within the House of Lords. But that’s a fragile hope. Even if they kill off this troubling legislation, it will only die for a season. The homosexual lobby will bring it up again and again and again. They are tenacious and even vicious. Voters against the legislation have received abuse and even death threats. David Burrowes, a ministerial aide, has been called a “Nazi.”

And this I can predict with certainty: the next group in England to seek similar legislation for their cause will be the polygamists. Muslims in England have been waiting for this legislation to pass before trying to get their legal right to marry four wives.

It is hardly a secret in England that many Muslims claim welfare benefits for multiple wives while the British government turns a blind eye to the hemorrhaging of taxpayer money.

Every time Western civilization seems to reach the bottom, one discovers a new low even farther down the pit. If Western populations don’t wake up, before long they will find themselves all the way in the Lake of Fire with the devil laughing his head off.

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Kyle Beshears #fundie blogs.christianpost.com

(Fundie Christian visits atheist church)

Every human is created in the image of a triune God (community) who designed us to worship. That doesn’t go away simply because you don’t believe in Him.

Deep down in every human being, we yearn to be in community and fellowship, just like the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have enjoyed for eternity.

Deep down in every human being, we are compelled to worship, because it’s what we were created to do.

Just because you’re an atheist doesn’t mean that all goes away. And today only drove that point home for me. It’s doesn’t matter if you don’t believe in God, every human being still desires community and wants to worship. Where we find our community and what we worship, however, is what will eventually define our joy, lives, and destinies.

Everyone at The Sunday Assembly seemed to believe that by adding community once a month and singing random songs, they will fill that nagging void in their life.

The more I though about this, the more I wanted to stand on my chair and yell “You’re missing the point! It’s not enough!” But, perhaps the unusually large amount of cameras and journalists stopped me in my tracks. After all, I didn’t want to be that guy.

It doesn’t matter how many songs you sing or how many people you hang out with – if it’s not centered around Jesus (the true reason for church in the first place) it’s never going to be enough.

The Sunday Assembly was gathered today in celebration of life, but not the life.

The Sunday Assembly attempted to instill wonder, but without the God of Wonder behind it.

The Sunday Assembly tried to experience a spirit in singing, but without the Holy Spirit of a good, perfect, and loving God.

They are missing the point entirely.

Church isn’t about music, it isn’t about making people feel happy, and it isn’t about instilling wonder. Church isn’t even about getting together in community to get your felt needs met.

Church is about Jesus.

Because we were designed to worship and to live in community, we do get some felt needs met at church, but it’s not the entire focus or purpose of church. The entire focus and purpose of church should be Jesus.

Until the good people of The Sunday Assembly understand this simple truth, they will never fill that missing void of worshipping Jesus in the community of imperfect yet redeemed people, no matter how many songs they sing, guest speakers they have, or good works they promote.