Am I the asshole for seeing female friend even if my SO disagrees?
I have this female friend I used to spend a lot of time with, chilling or going out with no love/sex involved at all. When I met her I was single but not interested in a relation and she was with her BF (then they broke up, and I hooked her up with a good friend of mine and they're doing great). We were never really interested in each other romantically, it's just we had interests in common, which gave good conversations, good laughs and way too many spliffs smoked.
My SO never really liked her (even though I've known her before meeting my SO). My SO can get quite jealous. We've been together for a bit over 1.5 years and living together for the past 5 months.
Every time they would be both in the same setting, they would not talk to each other and they hate each other (SO thinks my female friend is a player and a bitch, my female friend because my SO is rude with her for no apparent reason other than jealousy)
I had all the usual "jealous GF" clichés: "She's more important to you than I am", "You know I don't want you to see her 1 vs 1", "You're doing it on purpose", etc.
She's been crying for 2 days, not talking to me, and all that because I'm having lunch with my female friend.
Unpopular opinion here but, YTA. I guess it really all depends on how committed you are to your partner. If I was doing something that made my husband uncomfortable and he made me aware of it, I would stop doing it. He would do the same (has done the same) for me. Do you want to make her uncomfortable? I wouldn't want my SO to feel that way. Do you two hang out with your SO? If not, why is it so important for you to have one on one time with this friend? Your gf being excluded has got her imagination going and that's a hard thing for a woman to control once it's started going down the wrong path. Going out with your gf and friend might help her get over any insecurities she has... but if it doesn't, I guess it comes down to who you value more. We all make sacrifices for our loved ones. Honestly, it sucks sometimes, but if she were hanging out with some dude you'd probably feel a little uneasy about it, right? Try looking at it from her perspective. I don't think your gf is controlling, I think she is telling you how her actions make her feel and it doesn't sit well with you because it involves a good friend. Your gf is entitled to her feelings, sometimes women have gut feelings and they are spot on. Sometimes not, but why let her suffer the extra stress? She just doesn't want to lose you. And you may not be intending to be romantic with your friend, and your friend may not be intending to be romantic with you, but that doesn't mean it won't happen. Do you discuss your "controlling" and "jealous" girlfriend with your friend? If so, that's already crossing a line.
Lots of people would love to have someone that cares about and loves them enough to be jealous.
Commence down voting, I'm cool with that.
if my husband was uncomfortable with me leaving the house without him, I wouldn't.My mentality about relationships isn't unhealthy. Either you are committed to your partner or you aren't. It's really quite simple. I get everything I need from my partner and from my girl friends. The other men in my life are family.